c3j1k4's reply history at Help.com

Nelzark: Yes, he hasn’t attacked me physically recently, but the verbal/emotional abuse still continues. I’ve been avoiding situations with him at all cost and have stopped standing up for myself when he does start insulting and bashing me, and by not standing up for myself and just trying to take it, I’ve been able to avoid further physical confrontation. Good and bad I suppose. I have thought a great deal about talking to my mom, I just don’t know if it is a risk I should take, based on what I said above. Think it might actually turn out ok? Regarding family counseling… they’d have to acknowledge a “problem” other than “me” I suppose.

Littlemadamkaet: Thank you again for your encouragement. I have been setting aside as much money as I can and hunting for places to stay/live. I’ve contacted a friend who said she might be able to work out a way for me to stay with her. We shall see. Worst comes to worst, if I can get through this summer, I think should have enough money set aside after working at school as well (loans/scholarships/grants are mostly paying for school right now) to rent my own place… finally.

You all have no idea how much your encouragement means to me.

spiratec9 is right. You really only need one good friend who can be there for you. If you just be yourself, you will find someone to hang with. I know it sounds cliche, but it’s true. I’ve been in your position.

I want to leave, but right now I’d need a lot of help to do so. I currently do not have enough money to live on my own and pay for health insurance, which I unfortunately need for a lot more than depression. I’m working on it, but it’s a slow process.

Thank you for your response. I was surprised I was able to make my thoughts make sense at all, so I know it rambles, but its the best I could do.

I think that you should do what you think is best for your health and not worry as much about how she will react. If she is a true friend, she will understand and either return the feelings or at least understand your situation. If she does not return the feelings, I would think that she would at least be willing to help you with your depression and give you advice as well. Best wishes.

I am glad to hear that your parents are not abusive and that you are not in any immediate danger. Coming from a familial situation where I am very depressed but no one is willing to recognize that, I feel your pain. I’m going to try and give you some of the advice that people much wiser than I have given to me:

You have to remember that you do not have to be with your parents forever. Try and find ways to occupy your time away from them. Can you apply for a job? Can you get involved with extracurricular activities after school? Do you have friends you can hang out with to try and minimize your time at home? By giving yourself space away from them, you can give yourself space to think and figure out what you want to do with the rest of your life. Work hard while you are in high school and try and make it so you can either go off to work or off to college when you graduate and get away from your family for a while. Things might smooth out once you are away for a bit, and if they don’t, then at least you have a plan of what to do to make it so you can be on your own for good. Best of luck.