I’m glad you are still here, even if you prefer to stay ‘hidden’. :)
I’d like to think there are no strangers here … only friends we haven’t met yet.
Please keep in mind that there isn’t anything that you can be thinking or feeling that hasn’t been thought or felt before. Although we are all individuals, we share life experiences are (unfortunately) too common.
Holding positive thoughts and well wishes for you, always -
So nice of you! Thank you!
I tell you my story:
In the morning of Monday March 19 fits of dizziness started in a row. I wasn’t able to stand or walk without vomiting. My first idea was: influenza (because that days we had influenza high season here). And my wife and me had to ask for a domiciliary visit of our general practitioner, because I wasn’t able to visit him. But no fever, and normal blood pressure. So he called the emergency room (ER) of the next hospital and they come for me, transported me lying (!) to the ER.
There they made a genral check again and didn’t find anything — before they started a first computed tomography (CT) scan. The CT showed an incident in my cerebellum. (The cerebellum is responsible for the fine motor skills.)
But because they haven’t a neurological department, the ER transported me further to the neurology of the university hospital. And after some more clinical diagnostics (including MRI, X-Ray etc. — the whole programme) it was clear: I had what they call a “space-occupying lesion” in my cerebellum (less mealy-mouthed: a tumor); type of tumor and cause still unknown. But to make a brain surgery was urgent.
The surgery happened Friday 23, made by an excellent neurosurgeon and without any single harmful secondary effects to my brain or my locomotor system — just great!
Unfortunately the histological result showed that this tumor was a metastasis of a quite big primary tumor found in a part of my lungs, confirmed by an additional Positron Emission Tomography (PET) and two lung biopsies.
The fact is: It’s a metastasizing lung cancer — but still treatable.
(And yes, I’m a heavy smoker. But b.t.w. not all smokers get lung cancer and not all lung cancer patients are smokers.)
Thursday 29 my hospital stay ended.
Meanwhile I had series of Chemotherapy and Radiotherapy. This afternoon I’ll have an (ambulant) Chemotherapy session again.
I completely understand. :) Dependency of any sort can hinder progress.
Your worries are far from ’silly’, my dear friend. Internet safety is just as necessary as the safety we ensure in day to day real life. I’ve had my own experience with an internet stalker. He rang my doorbell one day and it showed me just how lax my own security was. :/ You aren’t an idiot!! It’s called ‘live & learn’. An idiot wouldn’t take steps to change anything but just keep repeating the same obvious mistakes over and over again. :) Uhmmm…it is so convenient to use the same name everywhere, huh? lols And, some people even use the same password to go with it. :) It’s a hacker’s dream!!
I’m so glad to hear that all is going so well for you. You’re quite welcome. :) Life is always in motion and ever changing. Situations don’t have to go from bad to good and then back again. They can go from good to better. :D Much of that relies on attitude and effort, as you already know.
‘Good, better, best
Never let it rest
Until my good is better
And my better is best’
Thank you for the shout and for sharing with me. I’m keeping you in my thoughts and prayers, my friend. I’m always here for you.
I’m wondering if that makes it impossible ^^ There are no links to follow that I know of.
Well, that’s the thing… You’re focused on helping others, even now you try to help me. But when something is true it applies to everyone. You, me, Bob… Especially Bob. Err, anyways… You have access to my email if you ever want to utilize it ^^
But in general you might want to consider finding stable, sane people. ^^
Precisely! Also, I can retreat if I need to =) Surrender is an option in this case, because I chose to be in this. (Actually, surrender is too tempting, I need to not give up so quickly but keep trying.) That’s very true. Why, looking at life as a game and a challenge make everything more fun for me =)
Lol, ok never mind I thought I was onto something there :’)and thanks that does help, I’ll bare that in mind
Hate to say it, but I am and have been for a while I guess but it’s only recently gotten pretty intense which is why I’ve been on here a lot I think. But it’ll be alright and I’m probably just being stupid so I hope it’ll just go away some time :) Thank you for wanting to ask though.
Ah, see if you know what you’re doing and have a kind of plan then it can only turn out positively! Because if all goes well then that’s great and you’ve probably learnt some new skill, but if things don’t go to plan then you can learn from your mistakes and move on :) I think depending on how you look at something has a great effect on how you feel about yourself, life in general and what you feel you can do :D
Lol, I’ll admit it’s frustrating. If you have other identities I think I may have found one or two but if not I’m just searching other random people. Are you elevenD7 by any chance? haha, I have other ideas though so I’m no where near giving up yet ;)
Yh I think so, although it’s better to be independent sometimes, it’s nice to have someone to talk to. Being alone is sometimes a good thing, but no one should have to be lonely. And thank you, I hope the same for you my friend :)
Well I’m sure as time passes, so will these difficulties you’re facing and things will get easier, just keep positive and push through, I’m sure everything will work out in the end :) and you’re right! you’ll probably benefit a lot from what you lean and these troubles might just have been worth it in a way
Sounds like you’re covered from all angles then which is a smart thing to do :) Haha, tell you what, I’ll give it my best shot and let you know how far I get :P
Good point, there are always some things that you need someone else to help you with. No one should have to deal with everything on their own, especially the things that trouble or upset them :)
Aw, I’m sorry to hear that, I hope everything is ok. Just remember things never stay the same and so can always get better, maybe some things happen for a reason? well I’d like to think so anyway :) and trying new things although frustrating and not always ideal might actually benefit you in ways you never thought they would! I wish you the best of luck in all of those :)
You can try if you’d like, but not only do I keep a lot of things to myself but I have separate worlds that I’ve contained each thing in. Even if someone was able to get a lot of information about me, they’d reach a limit within that sphere. Sort of like how boats have sealable compartments that can be closed off if there’s a leak. But if you want a challenge, bring it on ^^
Well, those aren’t such bad ways to do things… Unless part of the problem is yourself. Sometimes that’s been the case for me. Then it was necessary to find people I could talk to.
A lot more ups and downs lately. Things got well enough that I needed to cause more problems for myself ^^ So I’m starting to try some new things that I’ve never done before to get better at them.
Oh, is this a bad time to mention that I know your full real name? ^^ I’m distrustful of everyone, so I’ve looked up quite a few people before talking to them much. Paranoia seems to be a hobby of mine.
Anyways… You’re probably right. Ideally you’d find people that you’re close to to talk to things about. It’s always good to have a chance to rant at times, and learn from others’ input. But generally people who know you can do that better ^^ If it’s a choice between talking to people anonymously and not talking to people at all though, the first is definitely better.
Haha, so what have you been doing instead then? ^^ Hopefully you are at least enjoying the summer and doing some things even if you aren’t working on your schoolwork. Is the future going to work out the way it’s meant to for you as well?
Yeah, I’m okay. I can survive quite a lot and come out ahead. Though I get scared sometimes about the future because of what it’s heading towards. I’ve never done well in normal situations but it’s possible that I will become a sane person once again and live a more ‘normal’ life. Ah well, there’s nothing to be worried about I think. If it fails, I can always go back to where I was before ^^
Yes, but it could be a bit easier ^^ Perhaps you could try working somewhere other than at home on the project, or work with someone else to help you stay focused? =) Those kinds of change of environment can do a lot I’ve noticed.
I’m fairly good at that. I can mostly turn off my emotions, which can come in handy in a lot of scenarios. As it were, most of the drama is being put into its place and resolved one item at a time. So things are going fairly well =)
But… but… you can finish it soon and then enjoy the rest of the summer rather than waiting until it’s almost done and… Well, I don’t suppose one procrastinator can convince another, can they? ^^
Most things are going all right. A bit too much drama lately, but that will hopefully be resolved. ^^ I had a difficult situation a few days ago but I was able to work through the issues involved, I believe. It’s hard to tell if I solved the problem or it’s just not bothering me at the moment.
Have you been doing well focusing on that schoolwork? ;)
When you get the time? :O What are you losing so much time to? ^^ Indeed, a rather important thing.
It’s useful to keep things in a certain perspective. Most of the things people do, they do because they are wanting… something. Having another way of looking at it can be useful for that ^^
That’s true. And even if I utterly fail at everything, I’ll still have peace after I die =)
Aww, hopefully indeed ^^
Are you at least still working on it?
Well, the idea is that getting a job would make you happy right? So then you are kind of trying to do something that will make you happy, get a job, finish school, etc. Not bad goals =)
Thanks ^^ It isn’t too bad. I’ll make it it seems.
I hope that works well. How did it go starting early? ^^ It seems to be a useful way to get things done though. Also, working on it in a place you normally wouldn’t. Like for me, going to the library for a project I need to work on can be helpful.
I hope so ^^ But, I’ll be content even if I’m not successful I believe. I look forward to getting done with school however.
Ah, I’m sorry to hear that. Hopefully the next group of exams will go better =) It depends on how you do it perhaps, if you have another way of working on the project it might be easier? ^^ I sometimes find changing the way I do things can make them easier. Sometimes ^^
Mhm, quite so. I’m taking summer classes to graduate sooner. At this rate I’ll be a professional engineer before turning 21 =P
Ah, thank you for clarifying. I actually find it baffling that education systems vary from country to country. I should think it would be reasonable to simply have a uniform education system - for example, a universal system that is divided into the same number of levels with the same number of grades for each level; and all children would be divided into the same age groups for each corresponding level. But who am I to propose such an idea? Lol I feel like I’m just babbling now so I will return to my studies.
Psychology is interesting indeed. I’m currently taking undergrad classes, three of which were psychology – which, might I add, I enjoyed very much. I’ve been casting my net widely, as one might say, in hopes of finding a subject on which I may set sights for a potential career choice. Psychology happens to be one my career choices. The only daunting idea about becoming a psychologist is the prospect of going to graduate school – which necessitates more time and diligence. But I suppose the reward is well worth it. “If you don’t want it bad enough to risk losing it- you don’t want it bad enough.”
So what is sixth form? Is it comparable to high school in the USA? Or is it considered college?
I think my feelings toward school were very much the same as yours - I was ready to get it over with, so to speak. However, I must admit that my perspective of school changed radically when I entered college. It was almost as if I developed a newfound respect for my studies. Also, upon entering college, I noticed that my interest in reading went through the roof. It still amazes me to this day how much of an extraordinary transition I made simply going from high school to college.
For career choices, I was strongly considering pursuing a career in psychology. But I haven’t fully settled on any particular major yet. I should probably make up my mind soon though. lol
To be honest with you, I have too many favorites to arrange in any sort of order of preference. Also, many of my favorites were watched too long ago for me to recall. Hmm, I never understood the fascination surrounding anime. But each to his own. Besides, it would be wrong to dismiss as something uninteresting without giving it a fair chance. ;)
So how do you like school? Do you have a career(s) in mind that you’d like to pursue?
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