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Something for my parents to do on my mom’s birthday posted (5 months, 2 weeks) ago
My parent’s relationship is a mess. Roughly 10 years ago my mom’s schizophrenia got rea…
Why is it that..? posted (1 year, 3 months) ago
The people who always give good advice and always try to help are the people most neglected? I see…
I just want to talk to her again posted (1 year, 4 months) ago
It’s been almost a year since we were together, but a year that is spent seeing each other 5 …
Could it be that I’m looking at this all wrong? posted (1 year, 5 months) ago
I’ve always viewed it as me being the victim. Her actions towards me were all supposed retal…
Throttle stop screw head twisted off… posted (1 year, 9 months) ago
As the question states. I was adjusting my idle slowly then all of a sudden… disaster. Follow…
Are emissions tests based on city or township? posted (2 years) ago
I know it’s posted by zip code for exemptions but I was talking to a friend of mine and he …
Stop trying to shove down his throat that it’s over, that’s not necessarily true. However, dba703 is giving you the proper advice.
You already know it was you being clingy that had her propose the break. I can also safely assume that you probably weren’t handling your court situation very well. Both of these are huge turn offs to women. They want a man who is strong and supportive, not clingy and desperate in the face of stress. This is basically a test that’s either intentionally being given or not, but it really doesn’t make a difference. You haven’t done yourself any good either with how you’ve been handling it. You haven’t pushed her away like most guys do, which is good, but you haven’t shown any progress. Words are only words and hold absolutely no value without any display of action to follow. You’re constant need to want to talk about things is understandable, but it’s only hurting you. If she wanted to sort it out in that fashion, she would make time, and would have never proposed the break in the first place. Talking things over really isn’t important, believe it or not. What is important is how you handle things from this very point forward.
You basically need to reshape the image she has of you. This party is a perfect opportunity to do just that, so go to it. When you are there, have a good time, and don’t fake it. Don’t try to make her jealous though as this will only set you back (even if it does work). If you see her go up and talk to her. She wants to see that you’ve become independent and can handle stress. Now what’s more stressful than an awkward encounter between two exes? That being said, she is going to let you lead this encounter. If you feel uncomfortable and edgy then so will she. If you feel relaxed, calm, and as if you are enjoying her company - then that will also translate over. Let her lead the actual conversation though. Only take it where she does. So don’t bring up the issue unless she does but continue to let her lead it. Don’t take it and run with it, just basically respond when you need to. Odds are that she won’t anyways so I wouldn’t worry. This is what she is expecting you to do and that’s not in a good way. Don’t over stay your welcome either. If you get the feeling she doesn’t want to talk anymore move on. Don’t let her be the one to end the conversation. This will let you continue to set the mood instead of letting things fall through and have it end on a bad note. Go back to enjoying yourself as soon as it’s over too. Don’t act mopey, or eager to talk to her again.
Assuming all goes well, don’t expect her to reach out to you right away. She’ll wait as this is what she expects you to do, and also because she will be confused. She has this image of you, currently, that is being associated with negativity. Acting in this way will hopefully make all those suppressed and happy feelings resurface to follow this new image you are now trying to give her. This is also why you don’t want to push the issue (it’s associated with negative feelings). She will bring up the issue when she’s ready, and only then.
In the meantime (still assuming it all went well) try to take your mind off of things and really work on yourself. Wait about a week or two with ZERO contact initiated by you. If she asks to meet up and less than a week has passed, turn her down. You won’t miss your chance if you do and will continue to strengthen that new image of independence you have. If she really wants to, again, she will ask you again. If, however, a couple weeks go by and she hasn’t said anything, give her a call. Remember to keep it playful and comfortable for her, and ask her to hang out. Take her somewhere she can have fun, and keep it fun. Act how I said to act at the party because she won’t necessarily be fully convinced.
These things take time to fix properly. No one’s mind is ever fully made up. With the proper leverage applied in the right spot, anything can bend. The reason why these situations never work out is because the people involved try to fix a broken relationship instead of the real issue, being themselves. You have a work crew build you a house and it falls apart because it was built poorly. You take the same crew to try and fix the already poor foundation and the problem will only repeat itself. As with a relationship. If the people work out their issues and end up starting a new then they can build a new, stronger, and proper relationship. I apologize for the length of this but I hope it helps you. Best of luck with your girl!
- written 1 year, 2 months ago – voted for by DarkSnow
Get a cat, wonderful companions. Besides, tardis man, would the doctor say this? Well, yes, but he would also not have it prevent him from doing what he needed to.
You do not “need” anything but yourself. The other things are perks. Realistically, you will never be able to maintain a true relationship without accepting yourself first. Being alone sucks my friend, but it is also something we truly never are.
- written 1 year, 5 months ago – voted for by TARDIS MAN 40
Well if she really is just like you then try to gauge everything by how you would react to it. I dated a girl like that once and it worked wonders when I applied that method. Next you really need to sit down and look at your past relationships. See where it was you wrnt wrong and don’t repeat. We often are the cause to our own demise. Insecurity rubs off. When dating women they fuel off of oir confidence (stereotyping here). If they have doubts but you press forward with an iron resolve then they will feel comfort in that and value the comfort more than their own doubts. If you spend all your time waiting on them, asking people for advice, always thinking the worst outcome will happen, and doubting yourself then it won’t work. If you have doubts then so will she and next thing you know she’s moved on to someone who makes them feel safe.
I can’t stress enough how important it is to make a woman feel safe. That’s typically why they go for bad boys because they felt safe being with someone tough initially. However projecting a real sense of security to someone comea from truly trusting in yourself. A good example is a girl I was good friends with for years. I was in the friend zone bad and she had a boyfriend ontop of it. I wasn’t trying to change things at this point either, I liked her friendship and was content with that. However she had come over to my place late one night after being upset about a few things and we talked as always. I don’t know exactly why this time was different but the next day she confessed her sudden change of heart. She claimed she just felt warm and safe when I was holding her and it made her want to date me.
Believe me I struggle with this as much as the next guy. We all resort to games, chasing, head games, etc. Don’t do that. Be real, be yourself, and truly trust in your own intuition. Really all you can control is yourself. In the end if she doesn’t like you then oh well. It sucks but it’s life man. Best of luck! I hope this one works out for you :)
- written 8 months, 3 weeks ago
Does he like you? That’s hard to say considering you act completely uninterested in him. He is definitely interested though and is trying to get to know you. Be a little more reciprocating if you want to see where it goes.
- written 8 months, 3 weeks ago
That should have been the game plan from the beginning. You may have waited too long. If you can’t handle being her friend, tell her so. Be honest, but not pushy, about how you feel. Then walk away and never look back. If she’s in love with her ex then you can’t get in the way, even if she still has feelings for you. Based on what you said though, it seems like she hasn’t displayed any interest in you. There’s no magic way to get what you want. It’s possible, but unlikely. Just make sure you speak from your heart so it’s genuine.
Life is not like the movies. As much as I (and everyone else) wants their fairy tale ending, and to fight for the girl they love, it doesn’t happen. Most of the time the guy gets labeled a stalker, or gets permanently stuck in the friend zone. While in the mean time the girl runs off with a “bad boy” who they are never really happy with, but never leave.
- written 1 year, 1 month ago
Your friend could have forgot. Heck I know I’m terrible at remembering names, bdays, anniversaries, you name it. If it weren’t for facebook I’d be f**ked.
- written 1 year, 1 month ago
- written 1 year, 1 month ago
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