linuxya's profile at Help.com

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Last 5 Posts Authored

• The problem with self serving advice posted (20 hours, 39 minutes) ago
  You know, I’ve realized something interesting about the advice given on help.com — much…

• I’ve decided not to have “friends” on help.com anymore. posted (1 month, 1 week) ago
  Don’t take it personally.…

• Dear wife posted (10 months, 3 weeks) ago
  Today is our wedding anniversary. You always had trouble remembering if it was the 30th or 31st. If…

• Relationships are a two-way deal. posted (12 months) ago
  Men need X. Women need Y. If they exchange X for Y, they’re happy. Otherwise the relationship …

• I see there are posts from “widows” and “widowers” begging for money. posted (2 years, 8 months) ago
  I don’t know if they are legit. My wife died in January and I don’t want money. I just w…

• All Claimed Posts »

linuxya's Top (5) Replies by other users' votes

• (4 votes) I am a Christian.
  

  If you judge other people based on your religion, if you preach to other people, if you consider yourself superior to other people, if you avoid anyone who does not support your beliefs, if you refused to listen to other ideas and other philosophies… you will always be lonely and rejected. It will have nothing to do with being “christian” and everything to do with the way you treat people.
  
  - written 2 days, 14 hours ago – voted for by Anonymous1011, Xeno Dragon, fractal.scatter, Arkia Valkair

• (2 votes) Why do I have to suffer?
  

  Assuming you have never cheated on this guy,
  
  the problem is this:
  
  - because of your past, you seem to think you deserve to be treated badly and don’t deserve to be accepted and respected; and so you are attached to a guy who is so insecure that he flips out with jealousy about stupid crap
  
  - you deserve a kind, respectful man but you are holding onto this judgmental dolt because you don’t think you deserve better
  
  This breakup is a blessing. Don’t allow yourself to be suckered into thinking it’s any great loss simply because he broke up with you and you feel insecure about it.
  
  Walk on and find someone who treats you better.
  
  - written 1 week, 2 days ago – voted for by Morally Ambiguous JD

• (2 votes) I get upset with how my partner talks to me and gets angry at me.
  

  THe fact you feel he let you down? HE FEELS THIS. It’s no secret. He can tell you are disappointed in him. That makes him uncomfortable. That makes him distance himself emotionally and get angry.
  
  You are actually wearing yourself out being angry and blaming him and focusing on your past sacrifices. They may all be true but it will only destroy your relationship to focus on them.
  
  If you want things to get better, you must focus on every positive thing he has ever done for you and talk to him about THOSE things.
  
  - written 4 weeks ago – voted for by Angels

• (2 votes) Sometimes i want go to sleep and never wake up.
  

  Anxiety makes you hesitate and question yourself
  Hesitating and not doing anything makes you passive
  Being passive makes you a victim
  Being a victim makes you focus on what happens to you
  You become depressed
  
  The solution is simple.
  
  Go all the way back to anxiety. Be active. Do stuff. Make decisions and take risks. Learn from the results. You will no longer be a passive victim who gets depressed. Instead you will be an active person living life and making decisions and going places.
  
  Start small. Make public commitments that you will do certain things and then do them and enjoy the accomplishment. Join social groups (meetup.com) and exercise groups (running, biking, swimming, etc.) and force yourself to smile and greet people and ask them questions.
  
  Changing your life is easy.
  
  - written 4 weeks ago – voted for by paulfeakins, abnormalogic

• (2 votes) Hi
  

  You have “rescuer” written all over you. You’re a nice guy who feels best when he is rescuing some poor damsel in distress.
  
  This plugs into the male need to be useful but it means you use up a lot of your energy trying to help tragically broken women instead of finding a sane, put-together woman who is on your level of intelligence, emotional stability, etc. You deserve a woman who is not a mess.
  
  It’s admirable that you want to help people, but people need to learn to help themselves and not simply use others. The worst thing that could happen is you get yourself into a codependent relationship.
  
  - written 2 months ago – voted for by ATearFromHeaven, vapours2000200

Last 5 Replies – All 4,911 replies »

• Okay, I’m a junior in high school and last year I was going through some difficult stuff.
  

  [quote Anonymous]there’s a god-shaped hole in all of us that only god could help.[/quote]
  
  Once again, you are saying your religion is the “only” solution. Please provide practical advice to people instead of preaching like this.
  - written 20 hours, 55 minutes ago

• I can’t stop crying.
  

  [quote linuxya][quote ksbryan]Well this post isn’t for you or myself, it’s for this person.[/quote]
  
  Preaching is also against the terms of use of this website.[/quote]
  
  I also don’t think you get just how offensive it is for you to claim that someone cannot have love unless they accept YOUR god. Your post is offensive, self-serving and in violation of this website.
  - written 1 day, 18 hours ago

• My boyfriend and I were together, things were going strong and felt amazing for 4 months.
  

  Rebound is where you latch onto someone because you feel lonely and insecure and useless. A good relationship happens when you choose someone AFTER You’ve gotten over the breakup of a relationship and re-discovered the real you and what it means to be compatible.
  - written 1 day, 18 hours ago

• I can’t stop crying.
  

  [quote ksbryan]Well this post isn’t for you or myself, it’s for this person.[/quote]
  
  Preaching is also against the terms of use of this website.
  - written 1 day, 18 hours ago

• I was abused for 17 years and didn’t know it.
  

  If you want to write a book, write out a sample chapter and an outline of the table of contents and pitch it to publishers in a query letter.
  
  See Jeff Herman’s guide to Agents and Editors; see also Writer’s Digest Writer’s Market. They tell you how to do this and give examples.
  
  The charity and scholarship could come out of publicity for the book if you get it published. You can write an outline of the charity and scholarship and pitch them to wealthy individuals.
  - written 1 day, 18 hours ago

linuxya's conversations are tagged:

Love, life, Relationships, friendship, boyfriend, relationship, suicide, True, addicted, dark past, guilty feelings, boyfrien, pubs, helping people, Guilt, boys, dying, gay, love, kissing, hurt, Security, Homosexual, abuse, Self-esteem, Coming out