linuxya's shoutbox - Help.com

Hello Linuxya you have helped in a post and well the way you described boredom and it all was basically what i’m going through and not only that but i have been doing all those social things but they seem to pale and slowly fade.i mean its hard to explain but i’m usually a wordy type of person but since you seem like such a perceptive person you might be able to help me maybe or not.

http://help.com/post/328495-im-bored-…

thankyou hun, it means a lot :)

yes a load of my mind, i can finally get back to my old self(which means me being nutty again )

yes, i do keep a diary&reflect on different occurences
they are good to look at when you feel your going in the wrong direction.

your right, as always.
your mrs was lucky to have such a wise gentleman, such as yourself.:)

hya, im not sure if your aware or not
remember my last post about my son being hurt(his back)

well he had an mri,
the results: one of his plate discs in his back is moving over to a nerve, therefore causing him some pain.

also remember my other son being tested for *cushings syndrome*?

hes in the clear, thank heavens
my nightmare seems to be coming to an end.

i know you dont talk much, these days,just thought id keep you updated anyway, seeing as you always give the right advice.

Hi there,
I just wanted to say, I’ve been noticing your replies recently, and you give out some really good, level headed advice. Most of the time you seem to go the extra mile to explain more thoroughly what you mean to the poster, I don’t know how you have the patience! I used to, but I lack the time/patience/energy to 90% of the time at the moment, so I stick to the more fun posts, or try to lol.

Anyway, yeah, just wanted to say, well impressed I am.

Keep being awesome.

Jess

It shows incredibly bad taste to not address topics of other in forums. Please don’t do it again, baby. Theres a good little girl.

hi,
hope you are well :)

hello ^_^
You once mentioned me a book but then i’m too lazy to look for it and wanted you to shout it again if that is you remember?
thank you and dam your always giving good rational advice lol
anywho thankx much and have a marvelous day

Animal Glitter

hi why wouldnt u want anymore friends?! hows practice?

I can relate to that - appreciate the reply :)

I for one am not likely to be sending you one invite after another for yet another ‘I need reassurance’ post, however I can see why you wouldn’t want to include some and exclude others.

But if for example I ran across a post where someone would be looking for some legal advice (something I think you could help with) - would it be ok if I gave you a shout about it, or would you prefer me not to?

I’m kinda glad you’re not leaving help.com - your replies are usually amongst the better/best ones I’ve seen here so far, outside of the box yet practical, and I feel like I could pick up another thing or two from you as well…

cheers!

Are you not willing to join in on Dani’s birthday post?

Hi this is random but just wanted to say that I’ve just noticed lately that you give bang on advice and you are quite cool because of this. And yeah, I added you as a friend. I noticed you have a ‘no friends’ policy as of a week or so ago but I went and added you anyway, because you’re cool.
Lol. Hope you’re having a cool time linux. :)

Hi, Paul and I are doing fine. We arrived at a similar conclusion a few years ago. We control our choices so we may as well make choices that will help us experience that which we wish to experience.

Happy to hear your life is great and that you went with the Career Coach option. Stay positive because all the changes you seek are right around the corner.

Carol

Hi, how has life been treating you lately? Any success in your endeavors? Carol

Hi Linuxya,

I was one of your friends, though we did not communicate much.

However, I wanted to let you know that I did enjoy and respect reading your words here on help.com.

Take care of yourself, and I will look forward to reading your replies/posts in the future :)

i value your friendship&respect your advice,
take care x

not taking it personally, but still curious ;) would you mind telling me why?

Thank you D. Funny you should mention this. It was just a few hours ago that I realized I am usually on the giving end. One of my friends had emailed me and offered a listening ear. This is a friend that I have frequently helped, but never asked for help in return. When I read the email I realized I didn’t really know how to ask for help. Learn something new every day, once again. I will have to work on that.
In the meantime, I am here if you need a shoulder or ear today. Carol

We are so vulnerable while dealing with our grief. On the other hand, If I remember correctly, you began socializing around then. As long as you learned from it, it was not in vain. Sorry to hear she was instrumental in the loss of your job.

Using a career coach sounds like a great option for you. There are so many other positions you could fill with your experience. It could be in retrospect, that this will open a door for you that you never imagined. A whole new journey.

You really do a wonderful job here with the advice and guidance you offer. Your analytical, no nonsense skills shine brightly.

:)

Hello. I hope you don’t mind but I added you as a friend :) Nice to meet you x

We were very honored to have been of assistance to you in your hour of need. It was still rather fresh in my mind at the time. From what I have read of your replies you are doing a wonderful job paying it forward.

Sorry to hear about your job. I know you have a lot to offer. Can you start your own practice?

Is this a new girlfriend from last we talked? I believe you were going with a coworker at the time. Has she helped you work through your emotional turmoil? If not, you know we are here for you. Do you still have our email address if you should need to discuss something in private?

I am happy to hear you are progressing well. Things always become more crystal clear in retrospect. The trick is to implement all that becomes apparent. If we could learn to never expect more then we are capable of giving, our lives would be so much less painful

We have enjoyed a couple of very interesting years. Learning something new every day. Life is much less boring this way. Paul is happy to be working again. He was becoming very frustrated for a while, but that too has passed. Life is good.

HELLO! Good to hear from you. How have you been doing? Thank you for the warm welcome. We think of you frequently, honest. You have a special place in our hearts. We have been doing well, and Paul was finally able to go back to work. What is happening in your life?
Carol

I just hope you dont call yourself a Christian if you cant preach Jesus.

Thanks for your help and support!!

Thank You Comments

[living4you]

Good Morning ^_^

How are you? Hope your Fine, first of all I want to thank you for all the help you did even you don’t know me a lot…
Thanks from my heart, second thing I’m not bad I couldn’t sleep and they gives me medical to sleep and to don’t feel a lot the pain of my leg while I was sleeping and I don’t know how’s its bad a lot the the stitches has been off and a lot of blood on the bed and when I wake up the doctor say we have to do it again:S :S

:( no one comes to see how I feel or if I’m all right no one of my family comes here to check if I’m still alive yes or no how could they? They even didn’t text me or call me on my cell phone it’s hard…when you remember that your own parents didn’t come or text you. to check if your still alive or if you are all right?
But
My boyfriend Parents come. And they leave me a card of Get well soon and a bunch of Roses they are Red…and some one come too…I found a me to you soft toy near my pillow and a two card one says: I love you and the other one I’m sorry…
I didn’t know that they some…because the doctors give me the medical and I sleep like a baby…and today I notice them near my bed…
Its hurt that you know that your own parents don’t come…:(
Well. Good-day and thanks for everything…
Thanks for care and send me a shout thanks

[-Living4you-]

thanks for your shout,
rigghht now im at hospital..
and thanks for you help.
its hard to move on..
when you really love that person..

Hi, can I ask you something? Why do you think all I care about is the wedding? It’s not the wedding, it’s marrying the man I love more than anything. It could be in a sewer and I wouldn’t care. yes, I’m worried about the money aspect but I’m doing better dealing with it. Not perfect, but better. Also, I’m not saying I want this and I want that. I want to marry my fiance and my fiance wants to marry me. That’s it.

thanks. i’m going to try really hard. i have been doing better the last two days but i still need to do better. i’m going to try to push it aside and no i don’t think his arrest was a cry for help. it’s been an ongoing thing for about 10 years and he just happened to get caught this time….he actually got caught once before several years ago but they let him off the hook.

you rock!

thank you I appreciate it. You seem pretty insightful, and the things that you have mentioned from some of the literature seem intriguing.

Hey I’ve read quite a bit of the replies and recently it see s you’ve been giving people suggestions on books to read. I was wondering if you had a list of top 5 you could give me. I find “self help” books… well I wouldnt call them that exactly, but I find books that help people interact very interesting because of the underlying psychological factors that really are there.

Thanks linuxya. I got the message.

The biggest mistake we all make is that if someone doesn’t treat us nicely there is either (a) something wrong with us; or (b) something wrong with them. Then our mind spends all its time thinking up reasons for (a) or (b).

The truth of the matter is simple. We are all animals. We feel sensations constantly. Those sensations often make us anxious. When we are anxious we are unsettled and it makes us unhappy. When we are unhappy we get angry and lash out.

So why are their cliques? Because it’sa way of creating a little tribal group you feel safe in. You can share prejudices in that group and know as long as you follow the rules, you won’t be attacked by the group.

Why do people gossip and make nasty jokes? It’s a way of distracting from their own insecurities and anxiety. They put the focus on someone else so no one is looking at them.

So what it comes down to is this: EVERYONE is insecure. Everyone has coping mechanisms for dealing with it: joking, gossip, sarcasm, giving up, self-deprecation, bossiness, isolation, substance abuse, etc.

The key to getting people to like you is thus very very simple. You deal with their anxiety directly. All anyone wants is to be respected and accepted. When you do that even for someone who acts badly, you can turn them into an instant friend. This phenomenon has happened to me personally and is widely recognized by others (see the book Coping with Difficult people, chapter on bullies)

I have worked with very high level people and low level people. They all share one thing: intense insecurity. As soon as I look like a threat to them, they attack. When I look like a friend, they support. It’s all so basic and animal like I can laugh about it now even though it cost me jobs.

I want you to shout me some of your coping skills you would have used if you knew them back when. I have a hard time dealing with ppl at work. I hate their cliques, gossip, and just not fitting in all the time. What advise would you give me. Thanks in advance. I’m really a nice person and not bad looking. As a matter of fact I’m always complimented on my smile by clients not colleagues. I work in health care. Some ppl just like to attack others without cause or little cause. It’s not right. I’m not a sissy, I do fight back. I can’t understand why sometimes I get poked at behind my back.
I finally ended up leaving the job. It was too stressful. It was very rare that anyone would ever ask me to sit with them at lunch. I thought to myself, “what do I have leprosy?” Only women would give me a hard time, never the men. I’m a women and you would think being in the nursing field they would be nice, but they’re not, they’re animals some of them.

Absolutely, positively love the advise that you have given to this poster:
http://help.com/post/307084-i-dont-kn…
All the years that I suffered depression I come to realize that is was hormonal. But, the way you put it made me understand how depression starts. It’s absolutely wonderful advise.

New to this site and just tried to add you..

How do I add ya? :)

Add me as a friend, as I have you. I really respect your advice and would like to be able to invite you to posts…

That is funny, I think he thought he was being sooooo impressive, I just laughed gave him a hug and said very romantic, I am learning that getting angry and upset about this things is pointless, when he is drunk he starts making bigger wedding plans than me, I know he wants it really ;)

Things are great, he has been out of work so long that we now have some working Visa for Australia, they are initially for a year but he is going to look for sponsorship to stay a little longer, I am going to look into studying, we leave in 3 weeks, so so excited, weird how things turn round isnt it.
Ooo thats exciting about your gf moving in has it been difficult with immigrations, my bf very unromantically said he would marry me if he got a job in Australia and I didnt!!

Hello you.
Hows things?

well, cheap is relative. they make 4 times as much working for us then they would back home, but compared to our usual contractor prices, still more or less 50% cheaper. they care about gynan tonix inc because they’re happy with that kind of money and would like to keep working here, and if i’m not happy with them, they catch the next truck back.

and it’s a little more then being the middleman - i’d like to think of it as ‘quality control division’ ;) we’ll be at the sites, overseeing the whole operation.

we got 2 cheques already, my partners and mine. as a testdrive for the first company we’re going to work with, we’re doing our own houses first. they have about 50 people of all sorts of trades, ‘ready to be deployed’, so i want to see how fast asap can really be, at what cost. these can later be shown to prospective clients as model houses as well.

the concept could easily be copied (i’m doing it, for one) but imo the way this could work better for us then for our competitors if because i’m sure we can get serious teamefforts from those guys, with a little honey…

and as far as i know no one is doing it yet in our region. i’ve actually looked for them, because i wanted to do my house, but both price & timing offers i got on it from the companies i contacted were ridiculous, so i thought ‘if you want somehting done right, you have to do it yourself’. and hence…

anyway, thanks a lot for your input - i’ll definitely keep it in mind :)

Hm. Well I have to say that I hear a lot of pitches about guys who want to be middlemen that place all the risk and paperwork on other people. The problem with this is the only way for you to succeed and build your brand is to focus on all the key aspects of getting the work done. Cheap labour doesn’t give a shit about “gynan tonix Inc.” if you know what I mean.

I also often hear pitches about more for less. The problem is you commoditize yourself when you compete on price. You really want to compete based on a strategic chain of characteristics that competitors cannot easily copy. The only way to find that is to talk to customers and advisors and find out what they will really sign cheques for.

I have to warn you that plenty of people cheer ideas. But the only person who matters is the one who signs a cheque for you.

i’m not looking for sales, you and/or your contacts are most likely geographically inconvenient for my services ;)

i’m looking to put a service on the market (regional, then national, …) that does renovations, but at max capacity of the house/project (inspired by an american show called ‘extreme home makeover’ or something of that kind), in a minimum of time (without compromising quality, of course). i get cheap, capable, legal labor from a few countries further, through a subcontractor, so all the paperwork is their responsibility. my target market is ‘rich’ people who move, can afford a nice house and want it adapted to their personal likings, asap. there’s plenty of renovators and construction companies around, but none do ‘asap’. we do. at an ‘affordable price’. slap on a few ‘exclusive’ design ideas and that’s pretty much the whole concept as it stands now.

any thoughts? :)

Go for it

i’m hoping to get get enough clients from mouth to mouth, but we need the first dozen or so ‘the old fashioned way’ to get the ball rolling. mind if i quickly sketch the idea? you usually have good input on almost everything i’ve seen you write, so… :p

are you asking me out to lunch? :p

well, in my case it doesn’t apply completely, but it still held very good strategies, mainly the marketing ideas - i’ve been doing IT consulting for about 9 years, but now i want to go in construction. got tired of computers :p

cell couldn’t use that advice very much it would seem, but i sure could - never seen it that clearly put. thanks.