fubartigger1979's reply history at Help.com

Actually, I am older than my sister. I am 29 years old. I am actually the oldest in my family that has had a baby. Everyone else started at a very early age. My older sister was 16 when she had her first and once again, my mother gave her everything and is still giving her everything.

I just tried to run AVG and it won’t run on my computer.

what is avg?

Thep!!!!
OMG, where have you been?? Last time I read a post or response from you, I thought it said you were leaving us. I was very sad about that. Thank you so much for responding to my post. It does seem like it was a lifetime ago that I posted my first problem to this site. I have been through many things in such a short time and I think that because of them, I have become a stronger person. I know I have my moments where I slip (this post is proff of that). Thank you all so much again. I am on my way now to see my little one. If you all want, I have pics of her posted on my myspace page. The link is:
myspace.com/bleedingheart1979

Thank you to everyone who responded. I am feeling alot better now. I guess I was feeling sorry for myself. I know that I am so blessed to have Jean Anne in my life. She has only been with me for a little over a month but I couldn’t imagine what it would be like to not have her. She is getting even more beautiful as the days go on and she is getting stronger. I know that soon the day will come when I will be able to hold her in my arms and take her home with me. I am sure thatmy mom will come around as well. I think that KRISS was right when she said that my mom might be afraid of losing someone else. She did just lose her mom and dad is less than a year. Thank you all so very much!!! Hugs for all of you too!!!!

I don’t want everyone to think that I am not happy that I have Jean or that I don’t think and know I am blessed. I know that I am. I just wish that my life was alot better than it is right now so that when I bring her home from the hospital, I am 100% for her. Cause right now, I don’t feel 100%. I just don’t want to be a bad mom for her. I wanted her life to be so much more than what I had but I don’t know how to do that for her.

Her name is Jean Anne. I named her after my grandma that passed away last year and my aunt that passed away three years ago. They were the two most important people in my life. They were the ones who were there for me. It hurts that they weren’t there to see her. Jean Anne was born June 20th. I had a c-section and the doctors tell me that I have to wait at least 5 years before I even think about having another baby. Also, if I do have another one, I have to have a c-section. I can never have a natural birth (which is ok by me as long as the baby is ok). She was 1 pound 6ozs when she was born. She had to have heart surgery when she was 12 days old. I have to say that she is a VERY strong baby!!! Doctors said that she came out kicking and fighting and she has been doing that every day since then. She was fighting one of the nurses today when she was checking Jeanies vitals. Then she put up her little hand as if to say stop!! She is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen.

Talking to my family is no good. They think I am being selfish and that I am jealous becuase my sister had a baby 7 months ago and everyone is always playing with her and talking about her. OK, maybe I am a little jealous but you won’t here me say it. My mom only talks about the other baby. My mom adopted my sister when she was little and things have always been about her. I am my mom’s real child and have always gotten the short end of the stick. As soon as my mom found out that my sister was pregnant, she went out and spent hundreds upon hundreds of dollars on her. Had a big babyshower for her and everything. Now my mom tells me that we have no money for a baby shower and I am getting all handmedowns. I don’t think it’s fair. I asked my mom to check out my registry on walmart the other night and instead of doing that, she sat there and was shopping for stuff for the other baby.

I don’t know what I did to make her sick. She was 3 months premature. The doctors told me that I had something wrong with my uterus and that could have caused her to be born early. Also I was under so much stress and that contributed to it as well.

Hi,
Thank you seraph. I am on my way to see Jean Anne now. The doctors told me that she might have to have surgery on Monday. I am praying that she doesn’t have to go. She is so small and she will have to be transfered to another hospital and I won’t be able to go. I won’t be able to see her for a couple of days. I will go nuts!!! Hopefully they tell me she doesn’t have to go!!!

Went to see Jean Anne tonight. She is getting bigger and stronger by the day. They actually let me touch her today. I got to hold her hand. Can’t wait until she is big enough and strong enough for me to hold her in my arms!!!

Thank you all for your kind words!! I will post updates as time goes by. And Happy Birthday prttytrisha!!!

Yes, I know I will be a single mom. And I know he is going back to his wife. I am not really afraid of having this child alone. I have family and friends that say they will be there to help me. I guess I was afraid of ruining his life. But I see now that he doesn’t care about what he is doing to me, so why should I care what this will do to him. I should only be concerned with my health and the health of my baby. Right?

The father went on and on about how it will ruin both of our lives. Especially his being that he has a wife and children and a good job. He brought up points about me not being able to take care of a baby, which I don’t agree with him on. He said that he is very scared that I am going to sue him for child support, which I already told him would not happen.

Hi,
Yes, I am ok. Even though sometimes it seems like I am not. There have been some really dark days for me but I am happy to say that I am still among the living and that I have NOT tried to hurt myself in anyway. No cutting, no pills, no nothing. Which for me is a very good thing!!! My gram had been sick for a long time. She got a lot worse after my poppy passed away. I went to NY for a week about a month before she passed and it was very hard to see her the way she was. I cried everytime I left her side.
Being close to my mom will be good but we are still not on the best of terms. Things have been a little better between us but I don’t ever think we will be as close as we should be.
My little sister is having a baby and asked me to be the godmother. I went to NY last month for a baby shower. I didn’t realize all the stuff I had bought. I had a full duffle bag plus half my suitcase full of stuff for the baby!! LOL. She also got a ton of stuff from everyone else. She is actually due Christmas day! I can’t wait.
I went and bought a crate for the puppy. Everyone told me this will help to train her. Tomorrow will be the test. That is when I go back to work and have to put her in it all day. I hope she doesn’t hate me for it.
The married guy happens to be a very good friend as well as someone I am in love with. We talk at work and take our breaks together. He usually cheers me up when I am having a bad day at work. He knows how I feel about him and he is cool with it. I know that he has a family and he loves them. I actually like when he talks about his boys. He gets so excited!! He is trying to find me a guy that I can date but he says that he has to make sure he is a good guy. He says I deserve only someone that will treat me like the world. So he won’t let me settle for just anyone.
Anyway, I will try to be on the site more now. It is still a little crazy for me cause I have been working alot. They opened the casino 24 hours and they don’t have enough staff for it. So I have been working alot of overtime. Won’t hear me complain though. Make alot of money that way LOL
Thank you for answering my post and for caring about me. :)