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• Well basically I am 21, and my dad died 18 months ago. posted (2 years, 8 months) ago
  Now my mum is ’seeing’ someone. I can’t understand the relationship she has with …

• Please please please try to give me some advice! posted (2 years, 8 months) ago
  I am in a pickle with choosing my career. I’m 21, and about to graduate with a degree in Eng…

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• Oh dear LORD here we go again.
  

  I think I know your feeling well. Is it like an ‘inside scream’? I scream inside a lot of the time, usually in passive but stressful situations- like when I have something really important coming up that I’m nervous about, but all I can do about it is wait. I just feel a great big empty but panicky ache rising up inside me, and I can sort of feel a scream inside my head and chest- is that how you feel? Or am I just talking nonsense and proving I’m a bit strange again…
  Anyway what I do about it is just take a walk in the country to calm down, and feel ‘myself’ again. It sounds lame, but it works.
  Try not to worry:)
  - written 2 years, 6 months ago

• Things I want to do before I die:
  

  Skydive- but I’m too scared!
  If I ever reach a point in my life where I have nobody who cares for me, or who I care for, or feel I have nothing to live for, or if I’m old and all alone- then I’ll do a skydive! If it kills me- what a fantastic way to go, and if I survive I’ll be so thrilled I won’t be depressed any more!
  - written 2 years, 6 months ago

• I’m a seventeen yr old girl whose always wanted to join the military, but is afraid to tell anyone.
  

  No, of course you shouldn’t give it up! Ignore your friends- chances are, if they’re the sort of friends that laugh at you, they won’t even be a part of your life once you leave school, so don’t chose your future because of them!!
  Why won’t your parents go for it? If the problem is that they want you to do something academic, or less dangerous, you can get sponsored by the armed forces to do a university or college course, and then you’re guaranteed a job with them afterwards. This works for most courses, it’s amazing the range of skills they need in people. My dad did it with History, and became a history teacher, teaching new recruits the history of the air force. Languages, medicine, nursing, IT, geography, so many things will be useful to them, and they’ll sponsor you. Then, once you enter the forces, I should imagine it’d be quite easy to change your specific job with some more training, if you wanted to. And your family would have got used to the idea of you being in the military by then too.
  Find a careers fair or information day you can attend- take a look at their website to find out when and where they are.
  If you’re absolutely sure that’s what you want then go for it! But remember you’re still young, and you may still change your mind. Once you enroll in the military there’s usually a minimum term of service of quite a few years, so it’s worth being absolutely sure before you do. You can always join later on if you want to.
  Good Luck
  - written 2 years, 6 months ago

• I really need advice!
  

  why did it want to moderate that?? gah- well here’s my reply again:)
  
  Ok, well first of all please don’t get so down. Ok so you’re a lot bigger than you were- you’re still you inside! You’re still the lovely person you were before you put on weight, how you look doesn’t change that- don’t let it get you so depressed, it’s not worth it! You’re losing out on so much in your day to day life for something that is so easily reversable! Chin up:)
  
  So, how to lose the weight. I think you know this already- there is no ‘quick fix’ as I’m sure you’re aware. First of all- healthy eating. I know this is hard when you don’t have a lot of time for cooking, or a lot of money for healthy food. Maybe your main meals won’t change much- but your snacks can. Where before you ate crisps and chocolate, eat fruit and nuts. No, not much fun, but if you want to get slimmer, this is the way to do it, and it will work. Never eat pudding. Eat smaller portions at mealtimes, maybe 2/3 of what you’d usually have. A few more tips- brushing your teeth and drinking water help with hunger pangs. Keep an old photograph of you in your purse to remind yourself of what you’re aiming for every time you feel tempted to eat something unhealthy, or take the lift instead of the stairs. It may suck at first while you get out of your old way of life- but don’t give in to it, and soon your self control will become a source of power for you, and you’ll start to feel good about taking control of your life and body again.
  
  As for exercise, it doesn’t have to take a lot of time. simple things like standing while doing the ironing instead of sitting, walking up steps, and doing some exercises before bed and in the morning will all help.
  You seem really down about not achieveing everything your friends are in college. I’m sure things will seem brighter once you start achieving something with your weight, but until you do, why not try something else as well?
  You may laugh at this, many people do, but I’m improving my self-esteem etc by trying to do the splits! And I am NOT a flexible person. It’s just something I’ve always wanted to be able to do, and EVERYONE can achieve. It might take weeks, months or even years for some, but it is possible. There’s nothing like getting up in the morning, having a good stretch, and getting maybe 1cm closer to the floor. It’s achievement, it’s physical, and I can see/feel the progress, and I’m doing it all myself. Now I’m not saying you should learn the splits- although it might be fun!- but is there something else small you can work towards privately, but which will give you short term goals you can achieve? I’m sure there must be. Geting your nails to look really nice, readin a scene of shakespeare every night in bed- just anything that is worthwhile to you, and will make you feel better about yourself.
  
  Please don’t give up, millions of people are in the same boat as you weight-wise, and so many people lose it if they put their minds to it. Like I said before, try not to see it as denying yourself lots of nice food and things, but gaining a healthy body and self-respect. It’s a positive thing! And by the way, I’ll wager your student friends don’t have half as much fulfillment with their studying and work as you do bringing up your child.
  
  All the best! x
  - written 2 years, 6 months ago

• I really need advice!
  

  Ok, well first of all please don’t get so down. Ok so you’re a lot bigger than you were- you’re still you inside! You’re still the lovely person you were before you put on weight, how you look doesn’t change that- don’t let it get you so depressed, it’s not worth it! You’re sacrificing so much in your day to day life for something that is so easily reversable! Being chubby is sooooooo not the the worst thing you could be!! Chin up:)
  
  So, how to lose the weight. I think you know this already- there is no ‘quick fix’ as I’m sure you’re aware. First of all- healthy eating. I know this is hard when you don’t have a lot of time for cooking, or a lot of money for healthy food. Maybe your main meals won’t change much- but your snacks can. Where before you ate crisps and chocolate, eat fruit and nuts. No, not much fun, but if you want to get slimmer, this is the way to do it, and it will work. Never eat pudding. Eat smaller portions at mealtimes, maybe 2/3 of what you’d usually have. A few more tips- brushing your teeth and drinking water help with hunger pangs. Keep an old photograph of you in your purse to remind yourself of what you’re aiming for every time you feel tempted to eat something unhealthy, or take the lift instead of the stairs. It may suck at first while you get out of your old way of life- but don’t give in to it, and soon your self control will become a source of power for you, and you’ll start to feel good about taking control of your life and body again.
  
  As for exercise, it doesn’t have to take a lot of time. simple things like standing while doing the ironing instead of sitting, walking up steps, and doing some exercises before bed and in the morning will all help.
  You seem really down about not achieveing everything your friends are in college. I’m sure things will seem brighter once you start achieving something with your weight, but until you do, why not try something else as well?
  You may laugh at this, many people do, but I’m improving my self-esteem etc by trying to do the splits! And I am NOT a flexible person. It’s just something I’ve always wanted to be able to do, and EVERYONE can achieve. It might take weeks, months or even years for some, but it is possible. There’s nothing like getting up in the morning, having a good stretch, and getting maybe 1cm closer to the floor. It’s achievement, it’s physical, and I can see/feel the progress, and I’m doing it all myself. Now I’m not saying you should learn the splits- although it might be fun!- but is there something else small you can work towards privately, but which will give you short term goals you can achieve? I’m sure there must be. Getting your nails to look really nice, reading a scene of shakespeare every night in bed- anything that will make you feel better about yourself, and make you feel you’ve achieved something.
  
  Please don’t give up, millions of people are in the same boat as you weight-wise, and so many people lose it if they put their minds to it. Like I said before, try not to see it as denying yourself lots of nice food and things, but gaining a healthy body and self-respect. It’s a positive thing! And by the way, I’ll wager your student friends don’t get half as much fulfillment in their study and work as you do bringing up your child.
  
  All the best! x
  - written 2 years, 6 months ago

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