nainachick's shoutbox - Help.com

Hello,
How are you maomachick?

there is no god but one god,and muhammad is messanger of god.

How about emailing me from my profile page. Under the avatar there’s a link you can click to send me an email offlist. Mainly, I’d like to hear how you got over it. :)

Naina, you can help me! (with procrastination …) I’ve made my email address available to you now. Will you drop me a line?

I’m off.

Thanks for the talk. Hopefully we will continue it later.

Yrja

yeah. I also relate to other programs. I went to AL-ANON for a while. Makes sense. I grew up with people numbing their feelings with alchohol…so I really don’t know any other way…so I have to learn from scratch. I also have visited online SLAA meetings and really relate there. but it all comes from the same place. Like you said. I’m a codependent addict :) yay! This is why nobody knew. I was so good at hiding my addiction. My codependant side working hard there.

It’s all kinda funny in a way. a tragi-comedy.

Good for you.

Yeah…I have to keep on talking. And writing actually. I’m keeping a diary now for the first time since I was like 12. LOL. I’m totally out of practice. Kinda funny really. I feel kinda shy writing in it. I can write, that’s not the problem. But writing like that…kinda weird…I’ll keep doing it and eventually get over the shyness I’m sure.

It’s kinda funny to interact like this though I have to say. I mean..I JUST quit and it’s allready pretty interesting. It’s difficult an all but also really interesting. I’m quite surprised at how shy I actually am. I’m like REALLY shy. It’s kinda funny really. I try to tackle it by just saying it outloud to the person I’m talking to. Like “I know you wouldn’t think it cause you’ve known me for like 2 years…but I’m actually really shy. I’m quite shy at the moment actually. Just wanted to let you know. I’m not used to being this vaulnerable.” I actually feel better by just saying it outloud, and then I don’t feel as soically retarded afterwards :) And people take it quite well…my confessions :)

I shouted myself again…I’m always doing that…

Yeah…I’m still searching for the right one. But it’s still good to just listen.

there’s one during my luch brake tomorrow. Close to where I work. someone told me they thought I would fit in there. I’m gonna try it out.

I’ve heard that aswell. They key is to find a good sponsor. One that I relate to and can relate to me. We’ll see how the search will go :) I’m doing ok for now at least.

thanks :)

Just bought the book. Been reading it. Also have like a day plan. And a little card with the “sentence of the day” on it. don’t have a sponsor yet but I have like an AA therapist I guess.

But well, I just started the thing. And as they say…it doesn’t all happen over night. Takes time an all. Just taking my first steps.

The other thing that really GOT me was his complaining about how complicated it is to get on disability. He SHOULD be on disability, if he is genuinely disabled, but it should NOT be easy, otherwise no one would choose to go to work. I got the feeling he thought SS Disability should be like a big ATM where instead of inserting a card you should just be able to whisper, “veteran,” and dollar billed should start cascading out. I, for one, am glad that there are gatekeepers making sure that those funds are controlled appropriately so that they will be there for people who need them.

Actually, I read BOTH those points. But to me it was as if he had said, “Oh, poor me, I just broke my toe kicking my wife, and now my toe hurts. What can I do to relieve the pain in my toe?”

And I’m think, DAMN, what can you do to relieve the pain in your wife??

Exactly!! I KNEW we were the same at heart! Sometimes, though, I still feel this glimmer of hope that something will get through, and maybe I really WILL help someone make a healthy decision. Once in a while, it actually happens . ; - )

Truth is, I probably couldn’t resist answering Rodney’s message because I have several rental properties, and I KNOW how much landlords RELY on getting their contractual rental payments to meet their expenses. So when he made light of the “lousy $895″ he hadn’t paid, I saw my whole life flash in front of my face. Arrrgh!

P.S. By the way–it doesn’t NECESSARILY follow that I did more harm than good. Rodney is rankled at me, sure, but MAYBE he’ll get off his butt and get some job training. We can hope!

P.S. By the way–it doesn’t necessarily follow that I did more harm than good. Rodney is rankled at me, sure, but MAYBE he’ll get off his butt and get some job training. We can hope!

T.

Wow, you’re TOUGH! But I get the message!

And you’re right: I DO have very little sympathy for people who play victim. My brand of compassion takes the form of wanting to teach them to stop whining and start taking responsibility. But I guess that’s unrealistic. They just WANT to wallow.

It used to happen with my sister Patty all the time. She’d go on whimpering about this problem and that problem and the other problem, most of them of the financial sort, and I would give her a list of ten solutions, with the numbers all worked out. She would always get mad at ME for making her insurmountable problems seem so surmountable, and I would always be frustrated with HER for being so obtuse. Then one day my therapist pointed out that Patty didn’t WANT solutions–she just wanted to be heard. So now I just don’t even try to help her, I just listen, and she likes me a lot better. Go figure.

‘Xcuse me, now I’ve got to go apply some antiseptic to the wounds from where you nailed me to the cross! ; - )

You’re one of hose great people who keeps us all honest, N!

Hmm, Nainachick, your comment (about my “this may seem callous”) is quite amusing, and very astute linguistically. But my remarks only risk seeming callous because this guy is playing the veteran’s card, trying to evoke sympathy, as if he were a helpless victim. I think he is perfectly within his rights getting food stamps and disability payment (even though the diability is not service-related). I also suggest that he use veterans’ benefiits for education, training, and medicine. But he lost sympathy from me when he bellyached about how hard the poor dear had to work to get his disability paperwork filed, and when he made light of his poor landlord’s plight. How would you feel, Nainachick, if you had a tenant who stopped paying his rent when you had a monthly mortgage to meet? You and I are almost always on the same sides of issues–I have lauded your advice several times today, which you may have seen–but on this one I’m coming down on the side of being personally responsible, at least to the best of one’s ability. If that’s callous, get out the Dr. Scholl’s.

yes that may very well be true!
Chat soon friend!

Hi yas, well actually I’m a feeeew hours away, closer to Norquay, but I am hoping to come up to Regina on the 22 or so!

Haven’t been there yet… we moved a year ago ( May 1) from Alberta, what a beautiful province we have here in Sask! I LOVE IT!

coincedences are for a reason friend! have a great day!

You’re welcome :)

For making the post :) It helps to know that other people have gone through a lot, and that they made it though ok.

Thanks again.

you’re so kind to me :D

this is not me flirting :(

:O no, hun…I’m not like that, I respect you’re taken and this is just me being me, which I admit sometiemes I come across too nice for my own good

come to peterborough and then you can meet me lol

He loves it there. Every time he’s there I hear all about it. I really would like to go one day. Isn’t it funny that what is so ordinary to us is exotic to someone else?

Oh coolm does he like it here?

Very cool. My brother is often in England. He is a musician www.polyjesters.com

Cool, I’m from England - Peterborough

Would be nice to hear your wise words when a time comes :)

But I would not like to hear about you being unhappy, but if the time comes I will be here for you :D

Okay be sad and not enjoy yourself and miss out how waking up feeling as good as you should :P

That’s more than good then, as feeling anything less than happy is wrong :D

Well as long as each day has been good and important to you, then that’s all that should matter :)

Damn hun you’ve done good with children and a long marrige, congrats xxx

coolio, I didn’t know you had kids, but maybe that’s becuase I don’t know you lol and I’m helping mum around the house as I look about on www.last.fm

What are you up to now then and are you alright?

No need to appologise, I only mentioned about you being busy just in case there was something wrong with me or something wrong around you :)

Are you busy or waiting for me to say something? lol

Woah, that’s touching hun :) I first came on here because I wanted to help other people and try and stop them from going through or feeling like I have and do, but after a little while I started to see that this site was also a chance to make friends and share things with others, so I’ve only became more attached to it and the people on here.

I’m glad to hear it, I’m alright too thanks.
How comes you are on help.com?

How are you pretty picture :P

Hello :)

Hey. Thanks for the report. I have deleted the reply. Keep up the good work. Ditzy and the Mod team.

Hi there nainachick

You gave me some advice a while back and I thought I would tell you THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH!!!!!! The conversation we had was the best help I’ve gotten while being on Help.com. Ive been excruciatingly painful cramp free since I’ve talk to you last.

Thank you so very much for your caring nature and advice.

Have a very merry and happy holidays

Hi :)
How are you?

I am sending my Christmas greetings already, just incase I don’t see you here before the big day, I am sure I will but I would rather be safe than sorry!
So….

Hope you have a Fabtastic Christmas and new year!!!

Emily
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hey naina. how you doing buddy. i’m moosal mueen. i’v been visiting this website since last year. i got lots of friends. i hope u will accept my friendship. thank you.

Hey girl. It’s me Traci. You told me about OA. I seem to have lost my profile and had to do another. I need your help again. I finally decided that I love my ex boyfriend. We’ve been apart since October. We kept in touch and became good friends. Now that I want him back, he is dating someone else. What should I do? He knows that I want him back. He says he’s not serious about this other woman. Now what do I do?

I’ve lost 2 lbs. this week. I ordered the nutrisystem diet from QVC and I’ve started back walking. You have inspired me Naina!

Yikes! That sounds difficult! I’m praying for you. I hope that things go easier then you think and that it can be some really good bonding time with you and the kids.