H_B_Granger's profile at Help.com

User Involvement

Last 1 Posts Authored

• Complicated love. posted (2 years, 4 months) ago
  Anyway, I’ve been having feelings towards one of my closest friends for the longest time. We …

• All Claimed Posts »

Last 5 Replies – All 5 replies »

• Complicated love.
  

  [quote john-diggity]Be his friend, be there for him. He said he is not ready for a relationship yet, so stay with him until he is. You will be the first one he comes to, unless there is someone else. Love is a funny thing. It is completely unpredictable. He has his whole life ahead of him and so do you. His parents shouldn’t push him to get a girlfriend, and it isn’t best for you to weigh it on him. Be honest, but not pushy. I know from what you have said that you know the difference. He is one of the types that when pushed to do something, instead he will do the opposite if pushed too far. I know because I am in a tough situation right now very similar to yours. I get impatient and sometimes the things I say start to push her away. Just keep your chin up, be there for him, and one day, it will just happen. If not, then it is OK, because I know that you are fully capable to dust yourself off and try again. You are strong and independent, whether you know it or not, and sometimes your feelings tend to cloud your thought process and trick you into thinking that you cannot move on without the affection of that special someone. I wish you the best of luck, and myself as well, because I have stuck with this for almost a year (January 2010) and I feel like I have made no progress. The good news, I can choose when I no longer want to wait. I have control over that. If I choose I can just walk away from it and move on because I know that I have that capability within me. The same goes for you. You will know how long you can stand it, and when you hit that breaking point, just smile and walk away. In the future, if that is the case, a good song that helped me out is Walk Away by Five Finger Death Punch. When that time comes, listen to this song. It will help you understand. =)[/quote]
  
  I am extremely grateful for your wonderful reply! This is exactly the kind of answer I was looking for. Someone with this type of experience. Not to mention great advice. I’ll keep that song choice in mind as well. :) I know that I have to keep moving forward. Whenever something doesn’t go exactly as planned - that little phrase always goes through my head.
  Oh, and I wish you the best of luck as well. It seems like everything is so complicated nowadays. Tsk!
  - written 2 years, 4 months ago

• Complicated love.
  

  [quote friendlyheart]well i’d say stay friends with him for now and see how he acts..
  though keep your options open so if there is a guy who asks you out don’t send them away straight
  if he likes you the same way he is going to ask you out..if not then he’ll eventually tell you or find a gf which will show you it’s time to move on
  as for love, trust me you will fall in love again after you moved on..[/quote]
  
  Thank you for that friendly word of advice. I guess my obsessive behavior has made me think more negative when it comes to dating.
  - written 2 years, 4 months ago

• Complicated love.
  

  [quote thisthat2]i think that you should try to get out there and date other guys. it’s not like you’re going to marry them, just go out there and have fun and meet new people, flirt with new guys. maybe you’ll realize you CAN have feelings for someone else. maybe not. but at the very least, you’ll build lots of confidence which can only make the guy that you love find you even more attractive. if you sit around waiting on him and obsessing over him, he probably will pull away. if you make it seem like you have other options, like you have a life outside of him, then he will be more likely to be interested. i mean, don’t rub it in his face or anything. just go with the flow. also, it’s just good in general to meet new guys and experience different personalities and perfect your flirting skills. you’ll just become a more confident person because of it. you don’t need to “give up hope”. just try to find some new people and experiences to keep yourself from thinking about him all the time while he’s trying to decide what to do.[/quote]
  
  I just don’t like going from relationship to relationship. It’s complicated for me, since I don’t trust hardly anyone. I do see where you’re going with it though. Perhaps if I sway away from my obsessive behavior, then he might see me as someone he would want to date. Thanks for your reply to this! I appreciate it. It was extremely helpful. :)
  - written 2 years, 4 months ago

• Complicated love.
  

  [quote celestea91]My advice is to stay friends with him and not push it. If you seem to pushy to have a relationship with him, he may gravitate away from you. If you really feel so strongly toward him, and you think he may like you more than a friend, you should stay single for a while and see what happens. Usually things like this end up just happening, and soon you’re in a relationship with him. Also, keep in mind that even though he seems like the kind of guy you are willing to wait for, he may just be someone who cannot handle a relationship or something else. If it takes a long time for what you think is meant to be to happen, you should keep him a close friend and move on. I would just wait a little longer to see what happens.[/quote]
  
  Thank you so much for your reply. I’ll take that into consideration. I never thought about being too pushy with him. Perhaps it would be best if I not mention anything else about a relationship with him. I think I might as well let him decide on his own. Again, thank you! :)
  - written 2 years, 4 months ago

• I don’t know how to cope anymore
  

  I haven’t read any of your previous posts, but I can see that you’re going through a terrible time. You shouldn’t let people get to you. Perhaps you have confidence issues. A lot of people do.. at least once in their lifetime! :) Even if you’re going through such a tough time, please remember that your family cares for you. Perhaps you should speak to them about it sometime? I’m sure they would love to do some activities with you. Maybe take you out sometime to have a family meal or something. There is not a good enough reason why you should be so depressed. I mean, there are plenty of reasons in reality, but you should never let those depressing things get you down. If people make you feel that you’re not good enough, then prove otherwise! I’m sure you’re a great person with a big heart and holds many talents!
  Just think positive and you should be fine. :)
  - written 2 years, 4 months ago

H_B_Granger's conversations are tagged:

Every Day, something else, relationship, SOMEONE ELSE, complicated, girlfriend, Situation, flirting, This Christmas Time, Facebook, christmas time, feelings, This Christmas, This Way, Good Enough, Love, classmates, Relationships, wondering, Help, Christmas, want, Attention, need, Real Life