molotok's shout trail with spiritedsoul - Help.com

Hi and bye.
I am just fine, but a bit lonely. Well not fine, because I have a cold and a slight pneumonia, but at least no pork fever so I’m hanging on.
I’m just passing by. I haven’t been here since last time (2 weeks 6 days ago).
But I’ll see you around!
Or write to my email if you have time for it. I like talking to you.
Hugs!

Yes it is a long time, i miss you twoooo :)

im alright. what u up2?

Hi Flo!
Long time no see!
I’ve not been here for 6 months. I’m fine but I miss you.
How are you?

its ok u hvaent been on. the miss list was of people who said they’re leaving and those who havent been on for months. what job are u doing now?
im ok. x

Hi dear, sorry for not having been on for a while.
Well, I was not on your miss list (sobs), but I missed you!
Anyway I’m OK, I just got another job and have to drive far every day. But yesterday I collected the keys to a new address in the work town, so I’ll move within some days.
Are you OK too?

heya im ok thanks

i miss u too, hope u come back on here soon!
x florence

Hi Florence!
So you are on, just when I have to leave. I have been on Help for over 2 hours now, for the first time in 4 weeks.
Write a mail to me and tell me how you are!
Hugs!

Hi dear!
A Merry Christmas to you!
I got a shout from you 4 weeks ago, but I have not been around until today. So much things have happened and I have been busy. I will tell about it later.
Then how are you? I miss you a bit!
Hugs!

heya. long time no speaks!

nah im not welsh. i live in england which is near it.

my name is similar to florie :)

Hi Flor!
I got a question yesterday, that I may like to discuss with you. Correct me if I am wrong, but as I remember it you are of Welsh origin. Is it so? Because the question concerns only Welsh stuff.

Hehe, for the second time I mixed you up with Florie. But my shout below was meant for you, nevertheless.
Hugs!

heya. il say thank for sticking up for me n that post.:)
and ur opinions are always good to listen too! florence

Hi Florie!
Just out of the blue, I want to say that you often make me glad.
It feels good to see you around.
Hugs!

Sorry, I forgot that you were already attending that post.

yeah the nijab, hijab etc
this whole gender thing is pretty much discrimination/sexism that the appearance of a woman is shameful. people aren’t born thinking that way, they’re influenced. atm there is photo in front of me i received this morning of a boy from chakwal in pakistan. i asked to sponsor a girl, so asking to change. but the boy is only 2 and looks so innocent and niave. prob hardly influenced by the way women are generally perceived where he lives.

i guess a lot of guys maybe fear of being sinful(well fear of their own faults) and wish to shift their blame for their faults (onto women), refusing to take responsibilty. (soz this sentence is messed up and maybe seeming like im contradicting myself later)

one time i was sexually abused by a guy from the middle east. one time when he was doing it he said ‘I can’t help it, you’re so beautiful’ when i was trying to push him off and told him to stop it. now i do confidently believed he abused women (sexually) previously because he seemed confident he’d get away with his behaviour. i also believe hes been influenced to behave like that somehow. a lot of girls also like to be called beautiful here, so its also like using that as a way to get what he wants and shift the responsibilty.

for those who think their behaviour is someone elses fault, thats them refusing to accept responsbilty for their own actions. i think s.e.x and religion aren’t the reasons for bad treatment, but used as excuses. some people will just want to exploit those who are most vulnerable for feelings of POWER and domination. im not exactly totally religious, but in a way i see that as a sin in itself, using religion and god (love) as an excuse to treat others so viciously and unfairly.

i also like to think things will change in time for the better.

It has been so nice talking to you!
But I will logout now, doing some stuff before going to bed.
Take care, and hugs!

Well, there is this veil or “hijab” thing. It was initially some kind of a curtain, used if somebody wanted to talk to one of Mohammed’s wives, to give them privacy.
(actually it is earlier, from Assyrian and Persian customs, but it was not used by Arabs before Islam).

But that was misinterpreted and developed into the veil practice, where women had to be hidden from men. It fits into the Biblical misconcept that sex is something shameful, while some go further and think the looks of a woman is shameful.

I interprete it as a proof of that some men realize that they are totally savages, who cannot control their lusts when seeing a woman. And that they don’t even think they have any reason to try to be civilized, because if a woman shows her hair or a leg, it is her own fault if she will be assaulted.

Well, I did not include myself in “the fastest and strongest got her…”
I may be old, but I am not 100.000 years old… Hehe

That order may not have been entirely bad during those days. Strength and speed were important, if a guy should be able to protect his family. The same goes for also other species, and it may be one of the reasons why we developed and still are around.
But times change, and other characteristics are more important today.

god, i swear we’re both writing a book here! lol

i guess social behaviour is mostly learnt through upbringing, here boys and girls mix more where as in the middle east its different. why are girls protected there more anyway? i know guys run fast but its like a two way thing, the more girls are hidden, the less the boys can learn how to behave round girls.

‘The fastest or strongest guy got her, and that was it’ no wonder there aren’t many nice guys out there! lol (ur not included with the lot!)

even though it was like that many years ago, it feels like it shudnt have been that way. but i guess its like that in the world, the vulnerable very often get crushed and trampled on. the most vulnerable wipe out.

Well, all the boys ARE after you! That is their job, being born boys. But most of us have learned to control our instincts and follow the social behavior we are supposed to stick to.
That phenomena is called “civilization”.

Then you are supposed to run. Maybe not litteraly as it was 100.000 years ago, but in terms of making yourself less available, i.e. harder to get. If you don’t like somebody, you “run” fast like he**!
It was different 100.000 years ago, because the girl didn’t have much say. The fastest or strongest guy got her, and that was it.
But in a civilized world, the girl decides who may have a chance on her.

Unfortunately, some guys did not pick up the changes from old times and still live like 100.000 years ago…

LMFAO! i just copy what people write to me and paste it in the box and reply according to whats there then delete itlol now ur the bright one haha.

well, i did feel VERY SCARED and threatened at one occassion. i asked a stranger if i could walk with her and rang my mum to pick me up. i felt so scared and helpless. the second occassion i guess i felt safer because i knew there was a secure security building near by i could and was going too.

if i was on my own and didn’t know any1, i think wudve been a lot more scared.
i did not say to the police that the guys are middle eastern, though if i tell them, it wouldn’t be for the reason for being racist, but that the fact both occassions happened (well really 3) by foreign middle eastern guys.

‘But it is an even hotter potatoe that if a crime occur when they are informed in advance, they will be criticized for that inactivity!’ i guess then it would be better not to show any racism towards the sort when i talk to the police, just to help me if i want to report a case in future.

the good news is i talked at the bus station about it, and if anything happens while on the bus or a person is on there and follows me, if i choose to tell the police, the video camera would help reveal their identity.

to be fair, i had been emotionally affected by both incidents.
thanks for understanding. a lot of people just think im racist. mas1 even said i thought all the boys were after me or something like that.

Hehe, I don’t believe you. I have seen more than once in posts with a lot of replies, that you were the first one to take a step back and overview the replies, coming up with a very bright reply of your own.

When it comes to the harrassment, you must act according to what you feel. If you don’t feel threatened but are irritated because of an approach, be not offending but extremely ice cold. Tell him that you are not 14, and that he will find those girls somewhere else.

But if you are ill at ease because of feeling it as a threat, don’t hesitate to report it to the police! And let the police understand that it is known by others that you are reporting it, because the police authorities are sensitive to that. It is a hot potatoe to them, because they are afraid of being accused for racism. But it is an even hotter potatoe that if a crime occur when they are informed in advance, they will be criticized for that inactivity!

lol don’t worry, I shout at myself sometimes. i am good at languages taking note of i thing? sorry things have to be said simple most the time for me to get them! lol

some of the guys who treat me as their possession have shown low self esteem, one acted like he felt he wasn’t good enough for me. apparently, people who think that way (and the jealous kind) are more likely to control their partner. true, jealously can damage relationships.

i can be niave though, one time was followed down the high street for like 10, 12 minutes by a guy from one of these cultures and asked for my number. because i was distressed i thought he came up to me cos i was unhappy, but that did not turn out to be the case. he only wanted to exploit me. he was keen to follow me till i was in a more vulnerable position which was a bad sign. but i got away safely into a safe building with people who would protect me.

i think its easy to feel wanted by these lads, but now i don’t feel that way. ive come across so many of the kind i know to feel wary. though i do admit every now and again i meet the sort who are ok.

but it is disgusting how these lads treat women, sometimes i feel ashamed of my s**uality because of the discrimination ive received in my lifetime, and seeing it happen to other girls in the world. but it is partly the reason why im sponsoring a girl to help things out.

but anyway, i do get upset im a constant target by these lads. so far in less than 2 years ive been approached by 5 randomly. some others behave pathetically.
yesterday i wrote an email to my local police station about harrassment ive experienced and asking what to do if it happens again.

Hehe, I shouted myself…

I think you are good with languages, taking note of that “I” thing. But it did not disturb me.
Those non-trusters are often how you decribe them, but there is also another group of nicer guys but with the same problem. It is those with very low self-esteem, thinking “what can she possibly see in little me?” They are aware of all those cool guys around her, so they are afraid that she will also find those other guys cooler.
I feel a bit sorry for them guys, because the damages of jealousy are the same.
But I am as irritated as you over the guys from other cultures, moving in and spoiling things. Some of them have no experience other than from their cousins’ a**es or from the family goats, and they cannot take the signals from a lot of too young girls.
But with the streetwise brain of a reptile, they quickly learn how to dress and behave to get those girls laid, often with help from a hot BMW and other stuff with high imp factors. Those guys often compete with eachother in this, and the girls are treated as possessions. The problem is not as big with those who works a lot to settle in their new country, because they are busy and you don’t see them. But the others are many enough to be very visible, rich guys with all the time in the world, and no apparent source of income…
John or Peter, who use their bicycles to go to their evening jobs in the gas staton or supermarket, don’t stand a chance against these Don Juans.
The girls go to them because they feel appreciated without realizing that they are just used, until they are already hurt.
Most of th girls are dumped when it is time to settle, because then it is all about virgin-Jasmine-with-the-veil.
And if the girl is not dumped, most such marriages end up bad because of the reasons you brought up.

il apoligise for the amount of times ‘I’ was used in my replies lol

it is true that most guys who have the most difficulties trusting their girlfriends are cheaters themselves. so it shows them acting that way is the give a away of their insecurities. (can apply to women too)

i exaggerate my own difficulties? ok if i do i certainly haven’t realised! lol

i guess its true, i do presume people are confident when its not always the case.

i at times feel looked down upon by some foreign guys who come from places where women are second class citezens. they treat me the same how they treat women there. like im their possession and non human. that does make me feel inferior at times.

but how do u cope with these sort of things?

I recognize those things you told about, one of my young friends have a boyfriend who acts the same way. He doesn’t trust her, and at the sime time he approaches other girls as he did not have a girlfriend already.

Nah, I did not think that you feel less when writing poetry. But I meant in general or especially socially, that you may exaggerate your own difficulties while not realizing that a lot of the seemingly secure people around you have inferiority complex without showing it. When you wrote your “bad-mood-post”, it looked like you felt looked down upon.

its true, we generally have to fix our own problems, sometimes its nice to think someone would come and help though lol
managers job eye? that is quite big actually. i think its nice to have someone to settle down with. i do find it bizarre that loads of girls around me have a partner but that doesn’t mean to say they’re happy. one of my friends boyfriend one time kept putting his hand on my leg intentionally and my others friends ex boyfriend used to not let her out because he didn’t trust her.
so i guess im more fussy as wudn’t choose guys like that, it takes a lot for me to trust someone.
i hope u have a good day

did u mean i feel less than someone else when i wrote poetry etc?
im seeing a counsellor specialised to help those with aspergers syndrome, shes on holiday atm so i guess shes trying to make the most of this summer!
i think u shud find someone to settle down with. im sure ud make some1 very happy! lol

thanks for talking
florence

Hehe, not much to say. I cannot expect anybody else to fix that situation for me, that is something I have to do by myself.
But it is big to quit a managers’ job in my age without having an alternative. Of course there is another alternative, i.e. to find somebody locally, and settle. But I don’t function that way, when there already is somebody who I like (however far away).
People are supposed to be together!
But other than that, I am fine!
Well, it is late and I may be in a better mood tomorrow.

From one thing to another: Since you recently made a post when feeling bad, I have looked closer into your various replies.
I must say that I am impressed by some of what you are writing. You have no reason whatsoever to feel less than anybody else, rather the opposite! I really hope that your social communications improve with people you find interesting!
I told you that you can write to me anytime you feel down.
Use that when you need to talk!

Hugs and good night!

i think nobody wants to be lonely.
sorry can’t say much. its 20 past midnight and i keep havig to correct spelling mistakes lol

Nah, I’m just fedup being lonesome. My job is funny, but the owner sucks. And I live in a place far away from everybody I like, with no social life at all. And the one I like lives 5,000 kms from here. All my stuff is stored and I live kind of temporary, not even wanting to get a permanent living in this place.
So I feel like working on an oil platform, but without even having a home to go to.

yeah the asia thing is good.
hope u have a good weekend :)
what u mean fairly good?

I am glad you are OK. That Asia thing is good!
I think I am good too. At least fairly good, hehe.
But I am still at work, should have had quit 2 hours ago.
It is weekend, so I better go home now.

im ok, sponsored a girl in asia and should be receiving information about her soon.
starting uni on 15th.
how about u

Hi Florie!
How are you?

http://help.com/post/153346-happy-bir…

it is sensible to not reveal too much. on the map can easily put where my exact house is lol

I meant that I reveal stuff too, but it is not trackable to my name, because I am not known in real life by my nickname.

well, I don’t think anybody is good 100% of the time!

I had been revealing quite a bit of personal stuff on here but have been trying to limit more of it to be on the safe side.

” I do that too, but with a nick.” what do you mean, sorry?

Hi Flo,
Well, I am not more innocent than anybody else. But I try to be good. I believe I was basically good at that age, 50 years ago, even if I was a didobedient kid every now and then.

But actually, since ‘help’ is possible to google from outside, I am a bit careful to reveal personal stuff. Hrm, I do that too, but with a nick.

this is because I see you as a nice person. Strangely though(odd to come out) By looking at ur pic I see you as innocent! hehe was that what u were trying to acheive?

Thank you Florence!
I am glad you see me as a friend!

Thankyou soo much for replying to my post, I found it really helpful and made things so clear. It helped me because I would keep trying to explain my situation to many people but pretty much almost all of them wouldn’t understand and say I was making it up.

I do tend to attract the most forward of guys which I’d rather have nothing to do with.