southern_comfort's shout trail with BuckingFastard (J.N) - Help.com

I found an oldie for you. It’s not even mine. It’s on bobosnickum’s profile page. The one with 15 votes for most quotable response.
http://www.help.com/user/84623-bobosn…

LOL Thanks Joe.

A Mexican family was considering putting their grandfather in a nursing home. All the Catholic facilities were completely full so they had to put him in a Jewish home.

After a few weeks in the Jewish facility, they came to visit grandpa.

“How do you like it here?” asks the grandson.

“It’s wonderful! Everyone here is so courteous and respectful,” says grandpa.

“We’re so happy for you. We were worried that this was the wrong place for you. You know, since you are a little different from everyone.”

“Oh, no! Let me tell you about how wonderfully they treat the residents here,” grandpa says with a big smile.

“There’s a musician here — he’s 85 years old. He hasn’t played the violin in 20 years and everyone still calls him ‘Maestro’!”

“There is a judge in here — he’s 95 years old. He hasn’t been on the bench in 30 years and everyone still calls him ‘Your Honor!”

“And there’s a physician here — 90 years old. He hasn’t been practicing medicine for 25 years and everyone still calls him ‘Doctor’!”

“And me……, I haven’t had sex for 35 years and they still call me ‘The Fucking Mexican’ !

See, i’m the jealous girlfriend in that situation, jealous as hell when my bf is staring at someones fantastic boobs!

Although, when I have the miracle working bra on, and a short skirt & hair & make up done, i’m the one other peoples bf’s are looking at, so I guess I get my own back.

I just wish they were real, it’s not comfy wearing such underwear, and upon a closer look, I think people might be able to tell it’s just a good bra.

I have a nice arse though ;)

Sometimes I wish I had smaller breasts. Or at least a piece of wood to make them less noticeable.
But I also must admit when I wear more revealing clothing I get a kick out of watching guys eyes do double or triple takes of them. Especially if they are with THEIR girlfriend so they try real hard not to get caught. Sometimes unsuccessfully…

Not EVERYWHERE, there’s some places nakedness wouldn’t be wise, in restaurants where you sit around the hotplate while the chef prepares your food for you wouldn’t be a wise place to be naked.

I’ts very hard work keeping them hidden from my fiancé, i’d love to not have to do that.

Wearing some sort of fillet under a bikini would show, they’re fine when wearing a top over, but not when quite a bit is on view.

I see wear walking around naked everywhere on holiday WOULD pose a slight problem….

LOL

Yea but it’s when naked they look threir worst, Wonder bra’s & such like can help a lot when dressed, but nothing helps them bare.

And wearing chicken fillets whilst swimming & snorkelling a lot is asking for trouble :(

I have the answer…
http://www.amoena.co.uk/Products/Brea…

I have waited, and waited, and waited…..

It’s about 10 yrs ago that I decided I wanted it done.

The wedding has been put back a year now because of it.

He wants to go on holiday for my b.day in 3 weeks, but i’m really not keen on the idea, the thought of wearing a bikini or skimpy summer clothes freaks me out.

Patience is a virtue. Good things come to those who wait.

…and wait…

…and wait…

That depends, i’m waiting to find out if I got a new job or not, if I did, I should have them soon, if not, I have no idea, I can tell you - i’m getting more & more pissed off the longer I have to wait for them, I really thought I would of had them by now :(

Speaking of huge boobs…
How is your goal of pamanderson-ville coming along?

This is where keep7up lives…
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aflao

I like it! Thanks for sharing.

If you like comics, take a look at today’s Bloom County, http://www.gocomics.com/bloomcounty/2…

A guy and a girl meet at a bar.

They get along so well that they decide to go to the girl’s place.

A few drinks later, the guy takes off his shirt and then washes his hands.

He then takes off his trousers and again washes his hands.
The girl has been watching him and says:

“You must be a dentist.”
The guy, surprised, says:
“Yes …. How did you figure that out?”
“Easy..” she replies, “you keep washing your hands.”
One thing leads to another and they make love.
After it’s over the girl says: “You must be a good dentist.”

The guy, now with an inflated ego, says:
“Sure - I’m a good dentist. How did you figure that out?”
The girl replies:…..

“Didn’t feel a thing.”

A man and a woman were asleep like two innocent babies. Suddenly, at 3 O’clock in the morning, A resounding noise came form outside…
The woman, sort of bewildered, Jumps up from the bed and yells at the man “Shit!, that must be my husband!”
So the guy quickly got out of bed , scared, and naked. He jumped out the window like a crazy man, Smashed himself on the ground, went through a thorn bush, Then he stood up and started to run fast to his car.
Just a few minutes later he returns and tells the woman “I’m your husband, you slut!!!”
So the woman answers:- “Oh, yeah?!! And why were you running?!! You son of a bitch!!!”

A little old lady went to the grocery store to buy cat food. She picked up three cans and took them to the check out counter. The girl at the cash register said, “I’m sorry, but we cannot sell you cat food without proof that you have a cat. A lot of old people buy cat food to eat, and the management wants proof that you are buying the cat food for your cat.”

The little old lady went home, picked up her cat and brought it back to the store. They sold her the cat food.

The next day, she tried to buy three cans of dog food. Again the cashier demanded proof that she had a dog, because old people sometimes eat dog food. She went home and brought in her dog. She then got the dog food.

The next day she brought in a box with a hole in the lid. The little old lady asked the cashier to stick her finger in the hole. The cashier said, “No, you might have a snake in there.”

The little old lady assured her that there was nothing in the box that would harm her. So the cashier put her finger into the box and pulled it out and told the little old lady, “That smells like shit.”

The little old lady said, “It is. Now can I buy three rolls of toilet paper?”

Little Johnnie’s neighbour had a baby.
Unfortunately, the baby was born without ears.

When mother and new baby came home from the hospital, Johnnie’s family was invited over to see the baby.

Before they left their house, Little Johnnie’s dad had a talk with him and explained that the baby had no ears.

His dad also told him that if he so much mentioned anything about the baby’s missing ears or even said the word ears, he would get the smacking of his life when they came back home.
Little Johnnie told his dad he understood completely.

When Johnnie looked in the crib he said, “What a beautiful baby.”
The mother said, “Why, thank you, Little Johnnie.

Johnnie said, “He has beautiful little feet and beautiful little hands, a cute little nose and really beautiful eyes. Can he see?”

“Yes”, the mother replied, “we are so thankful; the Doctor said he will have 20/20 vision.”

“That’s great”, said Little Johnnie,”coz he’d be fucked if he needed glasses”.

“One particular Easter Pastor William, as was his custom, invited all the children of the church down to the front of the church to preach a short sermon. And as was her custom 4 year old Ivy joined all her friends down front. All the children sat on the steps leading up to the pulpit except for Ivy. When Pastor William asked why she wasn’t sitting Ivy proclaimed, ‘My Mommy said that I’m not s’posed to… she said its the prettiest dress I’ve ever worn and is a fuckin’ bitch to iron!”
… over the speakers for all parishioners to hear.

welcome ;)

LOL. Thank you for thinking of me… LOL

A man takes his father to the doctor.

At the office, the doctor tells the old man, “I’m sorry, sir, but you have lung cancer. You’ll be dead in a year.”

On the way home, the old man turns to his grief-stricken son and says, “Quit all that cryin’! I’m not depressed. I’ve lived 75 great years. How ’bout you and me go to my favorite bar and have a couple beers with my friends?”

So while the guys are having their beers, the old man breaks the news to his friends. “Fellas,” he says, “I’ll be dead in a year ’cause I got AIDS.”

On the way home, his son asks, “Dad, why did you lie to your friends?”

His dad replies, “‘Cause when I die, I don’t want them trying to fuck your mother!”

i checked that post, i really have no ideas what to add, you’ve already suplied with a load of links.

damn it, hang on…….

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=adt8Tu…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=…

Try that one.

Feel like pitching in here if you have a little time?

http://help.com/post/557748-im-a-sing…

Thanks. The link you provided is not working though. What should I search on Youtube for?

Hey, you have to watch this, i never knew how to do this, but my life has changed for the better since i learned it, so i’m sharing it with a select few good friends that i feel deserve to know.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=adt8Tu…

Done, when i have it done, i will let you know, you send me the shirt & i will send you pics of me wearing it.

I imagine when i get it done, i won’t be wearing shirts very much at all :)

Post surgery I want to buy you this shirt: http://www.tshirthell.com/funny-shirt…

I was in the airport VIP lounge en route to Seattle a couple of weeks ago. While in there, I noticed Bill Gates sitting comfortably in the corner, enjoying a drink.
I was meeting a very important client who was also flying to Seattle, but she was running a little bit late.
Well, being a straightforward kind of guy, I approached the Microsoft chairman, introduced myself, and said, “Mr. Gates, I wonder if you would do me a favor.”
“Yes?”
“I’m sitting right over there,” pointing to my seat at the bar, “and I’m waiting on a very important client. Would you be so kind when she arrives as to come walk by and just say, ‘Hi, Ray,’?”
“Sure.”
I shook his hand and thanked him and went back to my seat.
About ten minutes later, my client showed up. We ordered a drink and started to talk business.
A couple of minutes later, I felt a tap on my shoulder. It was Bill Gates.
“Hi, Ray,” he said.
I replied, “Fuck off, Gates, I’m in a meeting.”