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farjee's Top (5) Replies by other users' votes

• (2 votes) I broke up with my ex ’cause I thought he wasn’t ’smart enough’, but he was perfect in every other way.
  

  OK then…think about the great men/women in history. Some so far above the human race in their type of inteelect but, they were happily married. Their spouses didn’t need to have the same interests or ideas they did.
  Bluntly put…don’t give a crap what he can discuss with you if he makes your heart sing when he holds you or kisses you. Do you melt when he touches you and you don’t care if he leaves the toilet seat up or dirty laundry on the floor. You can have discussions with colleagues or friends/aquaintances but maybe find a topic both of you’s can discuss. Find out things that interest him or find new things you’s have never done or seen before make those topics to discuss…scenery on a holiday, people you met there, cute animals at the zoo, the crazy lady next door chasin her husband with a broom etc :)
  Imagine the wife of Einstein, she could never come close to understanding his work, but she had to tie his shoes for him… and they were deeply in love.
  
  - written 2 years, 2 months ago – voted for by Dr. Ralph, Magus31

• (1 vote) I loved him at least i think it was love.
  

  So sorry sweetie but it happens, some guys are just scum no matter how much sugar they pour on themselves…the rot just leaks through. Someone who really loves you will not care what you look like or if your hair is perfect or if your wearing fancy clothes. Think of the relationship as a learning experience, you now know what you don’t want in a guy. You want someone honest and sincere who is free to love you. Don’t settle for leftover scraps…most are leftovers for a reason. The constant him worried your going to change or your leaving him…that’s just a ploy sweetie and now you know what to watch for. You’ve been with a player, now you know how to avoid them.
  Now you’ve wasted enough time letting him occupy your thoughts …time to enjoy your life and get out there. Mr. Right can’t fall into your lap if your not out there. Let Mr. Right brush the cobwebs off you…lot of fun to look forward to, doing that :P
  
  - written 2 years, 2 months ago – voted for by nectar200

• (1 vote) I need a girlfriend because im lonely…
  

  ok Black :)
  Now before the life of working a job from dawn till dark and supporting a family, carpooling the kids to sports, tolerating the inlaws with a cemented smile on your face, learning the safe words of a married man (Yes, dear) good lord sweetie enjoy being single. Your not an old hermit at 17 dear and far from the old folks retirement home for senior singles :P
  Your 17, your supposed to be wierd your not even done growing yet. Don’t worry when the day comes for the right girl, you’ll find her…you’ll chase her till she catches you :)
  
  - written 2 years, 2 months ago – voted for by nubianqueen10

• (1 vote) For the past 4 years of my life I have known this guy.
  

  Sweetie, you never did leave the relationship…you cared about what he was doing, what he asked about who you were with, where he was everything screams…you did not end it and let go. You have to, it’s over. I take it this was your first serious relationship? Always the hardest to forget the first love because we never ever dream it will end. You will never forget him, to the day you die you will remember him but…you will think fondly of the relationship like, that was sweet. And it was sweet…would you have preferred a first love that was abusive and violent…no. Be thankfully you had a wonderful first love and move on. As you get older you change and he seems so perfect now but that will change too. Five years from now in another relationship you’ll look back and think…what did I ever see in him. 10 yrs. look back and think even less.
  Never look back with regrets about things we cannot change, it’ll just leave you a bitter lonely old lady. Be thankfully you had him for a time and remember the good times fondly, then move ahead. If you think he’s great, wait till you find the better one that makes him fade into the past :)
  
  - written 2 years, 2 months ago – voted for by p.s., i love you

• (1 vote) cc
  

  Just a thought but…stressful job, ever think he was just a safety spot at work. Something that made going to work, where you knew you had to go, a bit more enjoyable.
  Did you also notice *I came home to my husband*…you didn’t go to a bar or sit in a park, you went when your upset to the one person you know really does love you, where you feel safe and comfortable…home. Seems all you’s lost is the safe enjoyable spot at work. Now going to work where the stress is high seems so much harder, maybe it’s not the man there but the workplace that’s the real upset. He just made life there more bearable and something to look forward to.
  Think about your job and the people you work with, are some so annoying they drive you nuts…can you avoid working with them? What about your job do you really enjoy. If nothing how much longer do you have to work there? Is there a job in the area that suits your skills that you would enjoy more?
  Think of this guy as just being your temporary crutch at work that made dealing with the workplace more tolerable.
  The one man you really do love you already chose to go home to…your husband. Despite his leaving the toilet seat up and his shaving crap on the bathroom counter and all his silly guy crap spread through the house he’s the one you actually do love. If you want to know who loves you…imagine being horriblyburned in an accident (God forbid), who do you picture actually being at the hospital worrying about you crying for you and praying for you to get better. Who do you picture changing your bed linen and helping you use a bathroom and wiping your bum? Thats true love…no fantasy, no glitter, just love.
  
  - written 2 years, 3 months ago – voted for by DarkSnow

Last 5 Replies – All 191 replies »

• Had a good day, Doesn’t happen too often lately, so wanted to share.
  

  Don’t worry about calling a doctor names, their quite used to people suffering and in pain, they know you don’t really mean it. If it bothers them they’ll just medicate you better :)
  You have quite enough on your plate to deal with at the moment, don’t get side tracked with other issues. Just focus on you and getting better….hope the surgeries work great and your back to full health soon.
  - written 2 years, 1 month ago

• I am a 40 year old man who wants a fresh start away from a messed up life.
  

  Sounds like your Mom was lonely and overworked to support you and build a life. In a relationship with a violent man proably just because she felt he was the only one she could get and thought it was better than being alone. Unfortuately she took her frustration and anger out on you. No child is ever responsible for being that upset and wishing a person dead…her dying was not your fault.
  You also sound like many children from that type of home growing up …looking for love and belonging in all the wrong places. Drugs o take the edge off the hurt and loneliness.
  She was your Mom, she did love you and she never meant to hurt you, life can sometimes twist things to a bad way even for the best of people. She would never have blamed you for what happened to her. So stop blaming yourself.
  But you do have a son you don’t really know and he deserves to have a real Dad in you. No matter what you and his Mom think about each other he’s still your Son and you need to do whatever it takes to mend fences with his mom and get back into his life. You’ve got your work cut out for you but, no matter what he says at first he’s your son and deep down he needs you to show you love him and your there for him. Imagine how his mom and him feel watching you everyday with your new son and wife and wondering why you didn’t want them. Imagine how your first son feels watching you with his half-brother wondering why you don’t love him too.
  If your new wife and you are so opposite focus on what brought you’s together in the first place. There must have been some things in common, remember how you’s felt at the start of your relationship and bring that spark back.
  Time to go have a chat with your wife about how you love her and wish you’s could work at being closer. Then talk to her about your first son and ask her help to build a relationship with him too and mend some old fences. Marriage is a partnership, and she needs you to talk to her about things that bother you. Us ladies are very smart but sometimes the ESP is on the fritz….we need words :)
  - written 2 years, 1 month ago

• My life worthless ,I’m lost everything in my life .
  

  I’m not sure about what happened to you but I also know what it feels like to lose everything and be so sad and feel so alone…but things do get better. Takes time and a lot of focus, focus on the good bits in a day and ignore the bad. Even the slightest good is something…the raindrops looks so nice trickling down the window, cute squirrel on the tree outside, grass is so green in the park and smells so fresh.
  First you fix the basics in your life one at a time. Doesn’t work the first time, do it again. We are all here for a reason and we need to be here. If the people around you don’t care about you that is so sad and begs the questions…do they not care about you or do you just think that because your sad and everything seems so hopeless…or do they really care about you and just don’t understand how upset you are. Maybe sit down and have a chat with, them explain how your feeling and why.
  Counselling is also a good option, nice to have a neutral opinion to help focus and sort out issues that upset you. They can also provide some great ideas on how to change things to make your life better.
  Hope things change for you very soon but it will take time so be patient and focus on the good everyday until then.
  - written 2 years, 1 month ago

• my suicide note.
  

  I hope you really haven’t done anything yet Aizen…things can always change and things do change every minute. Television is just a fantasy, they show people how people want to be not how real life is. Check out some of the actors/actresses on television there lives are not all fun and happiness…that’s just a part they play. Most of them are quite lonely too, hard to be famous and trust people and have people around you that truly care about you not just your fame and money.
  
  Everyone has a soul mate, you just have not found yours yet. Consider that if she’s lonely and out there looking for you. What happens to her if your gone? She’s now alone for the rest of her life and sad or she’ll have to settle into a relationship she’s not going to be happy in because her soul mate is gone.
  - written 2 years, 1 month ago

• bigalavgone
  

  Love the new avatar Doc…great job Big Al… :)
  - written 2 years, 1 month ago

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