bethward's profile at Help.com

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• So this is about when you know someone is to young to date you. posted (1 year, 3 months) ago
  I met this guy Sunday who was really nice, cute, funny, good manners, ect. I totally liked him and i…

• My cat WILL bite and scratch no matter what I do! posted (2 years) ago
  I have had him since the end of July, he was abandoned and we rescued him when he was really still …

• I would like to find a church group in my area that is for 20-30 year olds, is child friendly or has a child care available, and meets mid-week. posted (2 years, 2 months) ago
  How would I go about finding something like this? Really what I want is a place where I can be aroun…

• I keep getting in trouble at my work for what I wear, but I don’t think the clothes are really the problem. posted (2 years, 3 months) ago
  First it was a problem with cleavage which I understood. Now I make sure that there is no cleavage a…

• If a man and woman live together and have a child together and then split up (but never were married) and the woman keeps the child and lets the man have posted (2 years, 4 months) ago
  a man and woman live together and have a child together and then split up (but never were married) …

• My kids dad told child support that he does not have a job. posted (2 years, 4 months) ago
  But I know that is not true! He has been on unemployment since September cause he didn’t feel …

• What is the perfect drink? posted (2 years, 5 months) ago
  !?! I am going to go out at some point this weekend and all I ever drink are jagerbombs on the rocks…

• All Claimed Posts »

bethward's Top (5) Replies by other users' votes

• (1 vote) So this is about when you know someone is to young to date you.
  

  Wow so many opinions on me. Just so ya’ll know I believe that when you have a child and are dating you keep that person and your child seperate until you are ready to make a commitment to each other. In the first stage of dating, the getting to know you stage, you keep it all seperate and don’t mention him TO the kids, but be sure to tell him all about the kids. When you decide you really like each other and are compatable and are going to try for a serious committed relationship you slowly introduce him to the kids and incorporate him into more and more family activities. And no, I believe it is completely irresponsible to let your kids see you with many partners unless you want slu**y kids when they grow up (this goes for boys and girls BTW).
  
  - written 1 year, 3 months ago – voted for by Sans

• (1 vote) When I say poverty I don’t mean I live off the government.
  

  hey when you live paycheck to paycheck it’s pretty darn hard to get out of that rut, you have to learn to scrimp and skim and you pray not to have any surprise expenses come up like Dr. bills or car troubles. Do what I did and get a 2nd job a couple nights a week or something, that really helps. I reccomend waitressing, cause then you get an extra paycheck for bills plus tips for gas/groceries ect.
  
  - written 2 years, 2 months ago – voted for by only2

• (1 vote) i recently went on holiday, met this 23 year old.
  

  Trust me if he is 23 and you are 14 that is nasty and a 100% sure sign that he is a bad guy and you should be running as fast as you can in the opposite direction. Guys that are that old going for girls your age are hoping you will be impressed by their age enough that you will be blind to the fact that they are losers. They go for girls your age because girls their are experienced enough to see that they are losers and won’t be impressed by their age or a few generic come on lines that sound REALLY romantic and wonderful to a 14 year old. Yeah he can probably kiss better than the boys your age because he has probably had A LOT of practice with A LOT of girls. Find a boy you age who treats a girl with respect and then teach him to kiss how you like. Don’t be afraid to give him tips and pointers, he will probably be happy to learn how to make you happy.
  
  - written 2 years, 3 months ago – voted for by ~LazyDaze~

• (1 vote) Girls are hot.
  

  Sometimes the things that turn us on the most are the things that we feel like we are not allowed to do, the danger factor. Since it is still taboo in a lot of circles for one to like their same sex that could be it, the fantasy of doing something “bad.” Or it could be that you are REALLY attracted to girls, maybe you should try to experiment if that is what you want to do…. Really it is about what you really want to do and where your comfort level is.
  
  - written 2 years, 3 months ago – voted for by PersonalPandaParty

• (1 vote) I’ve never trusted my boyfriend enough because of his coniving nature and because he gave me so many reasons from the start.
  

  Maybe he didn’t have anything bad going on with this girl. Maybe it is an old flame and they have just been talking. That doesn’t change the fact the he is dishonest and the you (rightfully) don’t trust him. Is that really what you want to base marrying some one one? Do you really think any good will come from committing the rest of your life to someone that is dishonest and you don’t trust?
  
  I don’t know how old you are or how long the two of you have been together. It’s sounds like you have already gone through a lot. Not to sound like I am condemming your choice of relationship, but are you sure you are with him because you want to be with him and you realistically see the two of you having a beautiful future full of happiness and simple pleasures? or are you maybe with him because you have been with him for a long time and you are used to being with him so you don’t know what you would do without him?
  
  I would suggest that you step back and try to look at your relationship from and outsiders point of view. Then I would think about what your future would REALLY be like; remember: to see what it would really be like you CANT change anything about him (like if he was more responsible or mature or honest or better with money). Imagine him staying just the way he is now forever and what your future would really be.
  
  Also remember that just because you have been with him forever and you can’t imagine what it would be like without him doesn’t mean if would be the end of the world if you were not with him. It means it is just unknown territory for you. Maybe it would be wonderful. Maybe you would make great friends and meet an honest, caring, wonderful man that treats you with respect.
  
  Or you could maybe get a little counseling together or just try to talk more and be really honest with each other…. I would wish you total luck if you wanted to do that. People are quicker to end relationships now than they were in the past. It is really up to you, but I think if you take some quiet time to look inside your heart then you will find your way.
  
  - written 2 years, 5 months ago – voted for by onli1oly

Last 5 Replies – All 304 replies »

• So, here’s the deal.
  

  [quote jcd]Your boyfriend cheated on you and calls you dumb and a freak. He does not love you.[/quote]
  This is right on the ball.
  
  I have to say… You have been together for two months, love does not form that fast. You may have infatuation, lust, ect but true real honest love takes a long time. Its like all the crazy feelings you have in the beginning have to melt together with comfort, respect, and trust and the sauce you end up with is the love that glues two people together. It is slow and easy and sweet like honey.
  
  Anyone who calls you names or cheats on you doesn’t love you, because you would never do anything to hurt the person you love. When you are in love you do everything you can to keep a smile on that persons face because nothing could make you happier than to see the one you love happy. Someone who loves you will never disrespect you, will never try to hurt you even if it is just something you apparently feel is no big deal like calling you a freak.
  
  I call things like what you have mentioned seeing in your boyfriend “red flags” cause they mean “whoa slow down/STOP”. Not that it will happen in every case but the boyfriend who calls you dumb in the first two months is the kind that will call you worst in the next two and you never know what that kind of aggression could lead! You don’t want to end up with a man you will kill you self confidence and abuse you (even if they don’t get to the point where they beat you, even verbal abuse is abuse!)
  
  I guess the point is you should ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS (i’m sorry maybe that wasn’t clear enough…. that was ALWAYS) take the man who makes you feel special and wonderful over the one who is a jerk.
  - written 11 months, 1 week ago

• wedding music help!
  

  Watch the movie Wedding Singer with Adam Sandler. That will show what is good and what is bad!
  - written 1 year, 2 months ago

• So this is about when you know someone is to young to date you.
  

  yeah I am really up in the air about it. Half the people I know say no way, half say just have fun with it…. for some reason I continue to answer his texts and have conversation with him… Maybe it’s because I am lonely. I never meet any one I am interested in talking to. He was the first guy I gave my number to in six months and I was soooo pissed when he said he was 18.
  - written 1 year, 3 months ago

• So this is about when you know someone is to young to date you.
  

  Wow so many opinions on me. Just so ya’ll know I believe that when you have a child and are dating you keep that person and your child seperate until you are ready to make a commitment to each other. In the first stage of dating, the getting to know you stage, you keep it all seperate and don’t mention him TO the kids, but be sure to tell him all about the kids. When you decide you really like each other and are compatable and are going to try for a serious committed relationship you slowly introduce him to the kids and incorporate him into more and more family activities. And no, I believe it is completely irresponsible to let your kids see you with many partners unless you want slu**y kids when they grow up (this goes for boys and girls BTW).
  - written 1 year, 3 months ago

• So this is about when you know someone is to young to date you.
  

  Oh good lord I would definitely not let let him around my kid, and I am way smarter than to let him knock me up. Ha ha I’m not as dumb as when I was 18 and got knocked up the first time ha ha ha. No seriously, I require dating for a long time before I let people meet my kid. In the 3 1/2 years I’ve been a single mom I only let two guys meet my kid and it was only after several months of dating. I just want someone I think could get to that point. I want someone I could imagine a future with. It’s just when I say he should be out sowing those wild oats he says he doesn’t like that stuff and just likes to relax and be a home body and loves kids ect ect ect. I just don’t believe it. Maybe today he is lonely and likes the idea of being part of a family, but who knows how he’ll feel tomorrow?
  - written 1 year, 3 months ago

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