getto_girl7's reply history at Help.com

from my heart of heart… for living with an abuser for 10 years… the hardest thing to think about is the damage that you are doing to your children while being beat. a woman of domestic violence is not strong unless it comes to her children. protection is one reason for us not leaving. other reasons are due to being scared. the emotional abuse that we hear from the abuser has us some what brain washed if you want to say… they make us finally believe their words to be true.. like for instance…. we are no good. no one else could ever love us. we cant make it on our own to raise our children. there are so many thoughts that go through our heads and the beliefs that we are “no good” to anyone let alone ourselves. but in our heart of heart, we try to protect our children with all the might that we have… whether it be living in the abusive home in order to have food and shelter for our kids or for protection or even because of being deathly afraid of leaving. the day i left, i have to say that i still was not safe. i went to a safe house and he knew where i was. it was horrible.. even my own parents didnt know where i was. then when i moved 6 hours away… he was still able to find us. order of protections dont work either… because as in my case.. it was just a piece of paper with my name on it. the police wouldnt help me at all. leaving an abuser is probably the hardest thing a woman can do. even when others are trying to help such as family members. please believe me… we are made to believe that if we do leave… they will find us and make things much worse…. all i can say is that your mom is really scared inside and when asked how she is doing… lies are the truth to her… she has learned to believe what she has to tell people. just let her know that you love her and that you are there to support her when she needs your help. also let your brothers know that you are there for them as well… out of anything that i have learned is …. my children tried to prevent my beatings only to cause things to be worse than what it was going to be in the first place… and in the mean time… they too can get involved to where they can be hurt at the same time… please take my advise from my heart… not from any book as i have lived it… i was there.. and it is really hard to get the courage to leave… good luck and let your mom know that you love her…..

OK Warfo….. that was pretty **** funny….

I have written a poem for the heartache that i use to feel from my ex… he would always say the words.. but they never meant anything because he would never show it…please read it and feel the words that i have written… understand them and believe them… i have actually had this poem printed in a book…

I love you

I love you
Are just words
Always spoken
Only heard

My heart
Cant feel words
Saying i love you
Is really obsered

I need to be shown
I need to feel it
I need to know
You really mean it

Those words
I want to throw away
Never to be heard
You could never say

Making me know
Making me feel
Your love is true
Your love is real.

this is what you should do.. because i too can dream of things that happen as well… i have the ability to see things when im awake as well… see spirits and feel their presence… the only thing i dont know how to do is to control it… but keep a record… a dream log… make sure you date it… then when it happens you can prove not only to the unbelievers… but to yourself that you are not nuts… that what you are seeing is real.. you have been chosen to help others…. except it and learn to use this information to help others… and no.. i do not go to church.. so please dont think that i am a preacher of sorts… i am a normal 32 year old with no life… lmao…

his name wouldn’t be todd would it….. lmao…. hahahahahaha

that is one thing that the last boyfriend of mine did… he went out and bought me a computer so that i “could do the same as him”… however.. it was to just get my mind off from him taking his time from me… at first it was cool… we were doing the same thing together… but after about a week or two.. i began to realize that i wasnt into wasting my time like him… it only gave him the power to remain doing what he wanted to do and win…. after finding out the hard way… i realized that it didnt change a thing… it just gave him the power…. again… im not telling you what to do…. and best wishes for ya… but in my own mind.. i only learned it was a way to try to make things better for him.. so i didnt *****…

just replying… listen.. i did it for 10 years… then got out and found someone else that i thought was amazing.. and again.. did it for 2 years… now that i have left both losers… losers in which i thought were the world… i can look back and see that what they did to me has not only caused me to look at myself differently… but it made me think there was something really wrong with how i was as a girlfriend… you need to think of yourself first… the game will never come 2nd… you will…. you will always be 2nd…. and that is not fair to yourself… i also know that in the position… it is really hard to see the truth… but once away… you need to really take a look back and see the real facts… and once you sit there crying… always put in your head the horrible feelings that he made you feel… it really does help you cope better… good luck…

what is a council house?

visitingneighbor…. i have extreme scholiosis… which has made my body shift to the point of having a shorter leg… it also affects the tail bone in which i am unable to sit straight. i have worked since i was 12 years old due to abuse at home.. and have been on my own since i was 16.. i am not lazy… i have medical problems in which they want to operate on my back… i am 32 years old… this is a serious condition… not only that.. i have spurs comming off the spine and degenerative arthritis in my back as well… I AM NOT LAZY…

I am a mother of 3 children. For about 10 years of their life, my husband had beaten and emotionally abused me. Being in those shoes… being scared to death, I found it hard to leave. Then the state of ny stepped in and took my children. The state said that “I could have left at anytime that I wanted too.. and because I allowed the beatings, the state of ny found a neglect charge on me.” After losing my oldest daughter to her father… because of the abuse.. I got the courage to finally leave… My children and I could not be happier.. we were free…. so I thought… I had an order of protection on my husband in which I learned that it was just a piece of paper with my name on it.. Everytime the order was broken.. the police department in which I lived kept telling me “everything that your husband is doing are accidents.” This meant that every time he dialed my phone number several times a day.. breaking into my house.. following me… were all accidents… He was never punished… never arrested…. So after about 4 months of this harrassing and being scared.. I moved myself and my children 6 hours away.. thinking that we were finally safe. Until one day when he was seen sitting in my drive way for about 4 hours waiting for me to return home. This only showed that we were not safe. About a month of being free.. happy and able to be ourselves… The state of ny stepped in and told me that ” I violated my neglect charge by moving out of the county in which it was placed on me… That i had to hand over my children to them or I would be arrested. I tried to fight them… only to lose them. This was 3 years ago. It has been a very long fight through the court system.. however.. I am able to finally have visits with my kids to get reaquainted with them… In May.. I am able to finally go for custody of my kids… My kids are so excited to be able to move home with me… However… I have no place to call home.. Right now.. I am unable to work due to back problems… i live with my mother in a 2 bedroom apartment in which my parents have one room and my little brother has the other one… There is no room what so ever for myself and my 3 kids.. So my wish is that someone could help me get a house that my kids and I could call ours… call home…. That is the only wish and dream that I have… not only for myself but for my children… I thankyou for taking the time to read my wish and helping any way that you can. God bless you. tammy