*lilies's reply history at Help.com

I am also doing my Phd and i get busy with many things but that does not stop me to multi task.

I shall do something nice today after i do this research thing and it’s making me stressed too.

Cotton, if your partner is pulling away from giving you affection, would it result to some panic? i would like to hear it from you because you are a man of experience.

You are welcome. For now, enjoy your youth.AND be good. :)

[quote thep]Hello friend,

Love is a complicated, fantastic, cruel, nasty thing. A few things that come to mind,
“love can build you up, love can bring you down.”
“Even the strongest of us can be brought to our knees by love.” (This can mean by falling in love or loosing it.)
Being in love often brings with it, two conflicting emotions. The feeling of complete happiness when together, the feeling of grief when parted. ( Meaning, even for the shortest time.) It is like a part yourself is missing, untill your loved one is back with you again.

When the relationship falls apart or fails for any reason, you are left to grieve for some one you loved. Only time can help with this. It is extremely painful and hurts tremendously.
The same as any other grief.

One more saying about love that comes to mind is this one.
“Only love can break a heart, only love can mend it.”

I am sorry that you are hurting so much, be kind to yourself and let time help to heal the hurt.[/quote]

Thank you thep, for this, for the shout and for trying to take the cobwebs away. I want to take my time as i get tired reaching out. I guess i am working on it too much and it is unfair if i am doing the job but the other does less.

But he says he is doing the best that he can, only that he could not give what i truly need because he is very busy and i need to understand.

Are all men the same?

Thank you dear Q for being there.

[quote iluv2dans1]as for not worrying about it just yet…this is what i have been trying to explain to them, that i am still young and that it is my life and my career, but they dont see anything productive about it.[/quote]

It would not be very helpful if you express your concerns on this to your parents now because they can be deaf at the moment so it would be very depressing on your part.

I think it is much better if you relax about this for now and try to see how and getting your dream would not be like tomorrow. You still have many years to shape your dreams and make them your reality.

I wish you luck!

Be active on your community. Make new friends. New acquaintances would be able to create new networks and strengthen old bonds.

Get some friends and relatives and let them know about your business. Next, ask them for referrals. It could their friends’ friends and whoever.

I don’t know what you mean by methods of destruction but i bet they are not healthy. Anyway, parents at most times interfere with their kid’s life but it only means they think that you can do much more than what you are planning.

But, it is also too early to assume. Because you are still 13 now. When they see you mature and be responsible when you are on your own, they would be able to appreciate your plans for your future.

After all, it is your future. Not theirs.

[quote littlenick]Hi lilies, I hope that you feel better. You’re right, you are giving too much and not much is being given in return to you. I hope that you have something to smile about pretty soon! What can I do to make that happen?[/quote]

Thank you littlenick. I also hope to feel better. Do you think i should stay in this relationship?

[quote **Rainbow Girl**]Lilies im so sorry you are not doing well.Give it some time and take care of YOU. I hope you get well soon.Im here for you.xoxo[/quote]

Thank you Crista. I owe you a long shout.

Oh girls, i am so glad i am not the only one with this feeling. It helps to know that i’m not the only one in this boat. I feel sick thinking really.

I am actually surrendering it. I can’t hold on with this kind of relationship anymore. It’s making me in panic and in misery. He condemns me for thinking of giving up on us because he was shaking when he heard i would try to let him go.

Is that our role as women? i don’t understand men at all.

[quote smoogie.]Throwing up is a sign of anxiety. Try some breathing exercises. Bet you’re hardly eating too this will make you feel like vomiting. You need to get some girl friends around and eat a meal. Food for body and mind..[/quote]

I did not eat and i don’t feel like swallowing anything.

[quote ♪ qΛ§Ħ ♪]*HUGS tightly* I am so sorry… But you cant be neglected. You are a special person. You shouldnt feel like that. I hope everything gets fine with you. Take Care.

*HUGS*[/quote]

Thank you. But it’s just the way i feel now. I guess i am wrong feeling this way.

[quote beatricegalant]You didn’t do anything wrong. Would it be possible to agree on a certain time when you call and he is available or vica versa? It seems to me men in general don’t like random calls. They think we are checking on them…when in fact we just want to hear their voice.[/quote]

Mondays and Tuesdays are bad for him. He says he was in physical stress. He is an achiever. So he takes all his lectures very very seriously. We have not agreed to do anything like you said because he is now very tired and that he needs to sleep….like a rubber band, he’s getting away again. And he comes back when he is ready.

Seas, thank you i actually have a copy of that book. I have read it cover to cover. It says men need to be trusted. But they should also need to understand that women also need to be cherished and supported.

I want to be supported.

Because that is all i need.

That is true. I just missed him. I did not talk with him straight 13 hours so i was looking for him :(

He says he is crying and hurting. And it saddens me that i hurt him. Because i don’t trust him that much. Huh. So what about my need of his time? so i would just forget my needs and attend to his and be understanding? is that what i should do?

To be honest, i want to be a better girlfriend.