Thanks for contributing guys. She doesn’t manipulate me much, but she used to. I’m tired, so this post will be a complete mess.
I had an outburst a few weeks back, truly expressed how I feel and what it felt like. I was brutally honest and said some things I may have kept in reserve. She understands a bit better, but still will never understand how I feel. I feel ******* sickened by the thought of her with these men who just used her. She blames her upbringing, naivety and wanting to be loved, but I ******* hate it. I hate that I love her sometimes. I hate that it’s ‘normal’ to sleep around. I’m ashamed and sickened. and somehow, every day, it finds a way to make me feel bad. She told me she wishes it never happened now and that she could’ve saved herself for me. I want that. So badly. But I can’t have it. We were both robbed by these bastards taking advantage of a girl. I hate the idea that he ******* recorded it. I ******* hate all of this. - written 1 year, 11 months ago