cricketbatbricket's reply history at Help.com

Dear Poster, i am 20 years old and my father died 11 years ago when i was 9. he died while we were swimming as he had respiratory conditions. i remember him telling me to yell for help, him praying for God to help him and how scared he was. 11 years later today, i still have that picture clear in mind and still wonder if there was anything that i could have done. im not going to lie to you. the pain never really goes away and that hole in your heart will always remain there. however,time heals the best way it can and with time you will get used to the situation and learn to live with the pain. you’ll learn to continue living your life and move on and letting go without forgetting. you are hurt, angry and disappointed and it’s only normal that you keep thinking over and over if you could have done something. the truth is that death is beyond anyone’s measures. you were by your father’s side till the end and he knows that. there is nothing you could have done. now you have to accept the situation and learn to let go. once you embrace life the way it is, you will be able to move on. don’t worry, the more time passes, the more clear things will be in your heart and in your head. have hope and be releaved that at least now your father is not suffering anymore and believe in God and the afterlife. the hope of a better world will get you through most hardships of life.

i have a similar problem. i’ve known this guy for 3 years but we only started being friends this past year. lately we started flirting with each other and i started to really REALLY like him. i know he liked me for a long time as he asked me out nearly a year ago and i had refused and lately he asked me out again.as i started to like him i accepted. but he made it clear that he’s scared of relationships and close to marriage commitments because he has 7 years of college ahead and he doesn’t want to loose his friends. i told him that there is no need to loose your friends in a relationship. he said he wanted it as an on and off thing. i told him i want dating and that obviously i dont love him just yet. i want to date and i want the relationship to grow. he said that if hes dating me he obviously wont see other girls. im scared and confused because i have been hurt badly before. i want to date and to move forward, to be in a stable relationship, to know where i stand and not marrige yet, obviously, im only 20. i just dont want to go ahead and fall in love with a guy who will never commit at any level. the anxiety weighs upon me all day long. im a person who likes to know where i stand and where im heading. i know i should give him a chance since weve only been on 1 date together but i really dont want to be played and get hurt again and fool around. its just not who i am. but in a way he is not fooling around cause he likes me and said that he wants to date me for my character not for the other stuff. Please, what should i do? my previos heart brakes leave me anxious and paranoid all the time and i get sick with worry!