Bex's shoutbox - Help.com

Hello Bex, i have noticed you took everyone from your friends list. Did you leave the site? you know you are always welcome to come back right?

I will miss you. Though we don’t talk you know you can come and look for me.

Take care.

i have noticed you have removed me from your friends list… may i ask why

aaahhh Thank you
You too
X

YaaY I’m glad you are enjoying them, I have finally joined my yoga class after months of putting it off, I feel so much calmer. I was ill just before Christmas and became a bit of a clingy girlfriend but have worked through that now.
Wow 14lbs that a stone isn’t? Well Done, I am so pleased for you :)
I hope that you can sort things out at home honey
X

Beeeeeeeeex
I have not seen you for a while, I hope you are well. How did your aqua classes go? Are you still attending them?

gay towls hehe

Seasons Greeting and Happy Holidays

Graphics for Chistmas Comments

I’m just popping in to wish you a wonderful Christmas and a Happy New Year. I won’t be around for some time as I’m going into hospital for a while. Be good, have fun, and if you can’t be good be careful! All my love, mums x

gday bex,
hope ur going gud today.

we both know its the thing to do, i believe.but (and i cant fault her for this) she just doesnt want to say no and godbye.i feel like we are just killing time.i dont want to commit to anything coz a lot of my brain says to me ” whats the point,chances are u wont be here soon enuf anyway”

so this is affecting me too coz i feel im just drifting thru life,waiting for soething to happen that neither of us realy wants to admit to.

thank you for everything. if u asked me the quesstion

“is this the one girl who u could see urself spending the rest of ur life with?”

I think i would say no.and that scares me ,and it hurts me because i know it will hurt her.

shes wonderful in so many ways but im just not attracted.why cant i just tell her that. she wants to have kids and get married but i think kids would equal lunacy.kids wont solve the problem,they only worsen it i feel

yeah im back with her now. she says to me that if iwant to go i should go,but i think she is banking that i wont have the balls to actually go.

is it so wron gto say i dont find her attractive ? we went to a party last night and i found myself looking at other girls,and if im honest i was more attracted to them than to her.i cant apologize for that ,its just how i feel.

if im BRUTALLY honest i dont think i tried with her,there wsnt an attraction.and i feel now (and this makes me sound like a bastard) that if im not trying in my personal life,then i wont really be trying in any aspect of my life.

im letting myself down.does that make sense to u?

too many thoughts bex. i feel lost. its been two weeks since i walked out and shes said nothing about it,like it never happened.

i had too bring it up a couple of nights ago and when i did it was like pulling teeth,she didnt want to talk about it.

hi Bex,

hows things with u?

Bex, here’s the post I made. It explains a little more rather than mentioning in the chat. I don’t feel chat is the right place for it.

http://help.com/post/221915-i-read-so…

i really am just confused. some days i think im happy and others im not.maybe i just want a getout clause so i dont have to deal with reality.idk Bex,im just all over the place.

i emailed a counsellor i used to visit years ago,we had a good raport so hopefully he can give me some good advice,as he knows how i am ,or what my modus operandi is .
theres just so many “what ifs ,it makes my head hurt.

u know what i mean?

Hey Bex, just a reminder that you rock! Sure it could have been anyone who listened and provided comfort, wisdom and empathy, but it was you that happened to be in the right place at the right time at a big turning point for me. So cheers big ears.

well i spoke to her and she was in pieces,like she was havinga panic attack.so i went to see her and the rest is history.u know tho bex? i dont know if ive been looking at this from the wrong angle.i think maybe im selling her and me short.i think maybe i shud appreciate the sum of her ,rather than focusing on one or two things i dont like.does that make sense?

we get on well,sure theres tings id like to change about her but im sure theres things she’d like to change about me.

does this make sense to u or is it me just dreaming up another way to justify staying?

let me know

i collapsed completely.

thanks! just did!

Bexx!

thats very nice to hear bex. i hope it will last a lifetime :)

Hello Becky! :)

Watch out, this guy is going to annoy you.

hi,

i left this afternoon.im in a hotel now.i was feeling not too bad but now i dont feel so good.
im worrying about having left,where im going,what ive done.

thanks for all ur advice.2moro is d-day so if u can look out for a shout form me it will be greatly appreciated.again thank u

bex, i had no idea your relationship was still on rocks. i believe the last time i we discussed it was approximately a year ago? maybe, not quite that long. The point is, this has continued and it will only crumble gradually. its like having a leak inside your house, you plug the first one, and immediately another leak comes about. before you know it, the leaks become overwhelming and you cannot plug them all at once. your house becomes flooded.

bex, i know you’re trying to do the right thing here, but there is going to be a point where it seizes your efforts. when he comes home from work everyday with the same sullen expression, there is a serious problem not being addressed. he has to profess this problem(s).
What is there in belgium that he so desperately desires? happiness? perhaps temporarily, but his wife should be infinite happiness for him. it’s not normal for this to happen bex. it’s not normal for a wife or husband to get neglected from their partner for superficial reasons.
i’m not a marital therapist so i cannot provide you with infallible remedies. i only hope for the best with you and your relationship.

listening to indigo girls “closer to fine ” crying,isnt life fun?

ive had a plan for so long .its just going thru with it.i suppose one doesnt want to leave what they are used to ,whats comfortable-even if they know thye cant stay

Bex,

ive spent my whole life catering to otheres needs;and its left me feel hollow.So the way to conquer this trait is to find something u want to achieve ,and achieve it.FOR ME

I did that.I wanted to emigrate to oz.i did it in 2006 and she followed me out and managed to get me to give up my dream.so for me now i believe the way back is to look at the last two yrs and say to myself

“get back to basics,look after u,so what u want “

so i feel oz is the place for me.

im living in canada where i know no one but thru her.my path out is to stay at a hotel.i worry that ill give in and come crawling back.im afraid that with no support network i will capitulate.

i can see what needs to be done,i just need to conquer my doubts

not only do we live together ,we live with her parents

ive tried to leave b4 and failed each time.

it all makes sense .but its just doing it,u know/

we have talked .she knows im neither happy nor sane at the moment.part of her is being selfish and wants to hang on no matter what the cost.another part of her tells me to go and focus on myself

this is the hardest thing ive ever done.ot only am i looking our forme first but im breaking this poor girls heart.i feel like ****

i dont believe in myself.i can count numerous times where i have been seeing a girl that i wasnt attracted to ,we get on well,but the passion isnt there for me
they always ended in acrimony coz i want attraacted to my partner.eventually something has to give.so for me its like trying to break a lifelong habit of putting me 2nd and someone else first.

i get nothing out of it except how i feel now,and no one else wins too.

this may sound ridiculous but bear with me.

nearly twenty years ago i saw a girl in my class,and i couldnt speak,my jaw dropped,my stomach went to jelly.i knew there an then that i cud marry her and be happy.we dated for a whiel,she broke my heart and left.

so my quetion is:

Is it wrong to wait for that “OMG my heart is coming thru my ribcage,the butterflies have amassed in my stomach feeling again?

the night i met her i settled for her,i knew i shouldnt have but i did.i was doing so well as counselling ,trying to put me first and then i go and ruin all my hard work.

i suffer from low self esteem- which attaches me (not attracts) to girls WHO like me ,and unfortunately the feeling isnt really reciprocated on my part ,no matter how hard i try .

becoz i always know imve settled,

i fear being alone.having to start over again.she’s a wonderful girl but idk shes the one.

i feel depressed and so the thoughts of havn to start over again are daunting.i think we cud have a gud life together but i just dont feel crazy head over heels passionately for her.

but will iever get that? i suppose thats teh risk of life.eh?

Hi Bex,

I feel really really confused.i feel like im being pulled apart at the seams.”go or dont go”

its wrecking my head.any advice

hellos(: how are you? the house phone has just given up working, so i cant contact the cafe tonight. im going to go in to cafe after college tomorrow though, hope i havent missed out
dolly xXx

ah yes work is always priority for us. i’m still working with the same company only attending school in the evenings. who would’ve ever known 3 classes could be so stressful with a full-time job, lol. but it’s is very good to hear from you and hopefully i’ll catch you online soon.

bex! long time no talk. what is up with you?

i’m trying to make a slow come back to this site although my schedule is still compact.

I hope you enjoy that break!

I’m doing well myself.

Howdy. Figured I’d leave you a shout since we haven’t chatted in a while.

:P