moonlightsupper's profile at Help.com

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Last 4 Posts Authored

• Leaving the City of Regret posted (2 weeks, 4 days) ago
  Pause, and think about this….. by: Larry Harp I had not really planned on taking a trip this…

• To A Moderator, is there any way one can tell if an Anonymous OP is online? posted (4 months) ago
  or does this apply to verified users only?…

• Eleven Hints for Life…. posted (4 months, 1 week) ago
  1. It hurts to love someone and not be loved in return. But what is more painful is to love someone…

• To my fellow helpers, readers, users and abusers of Help.com posted (4 months, 3 weeks) ago
  HAPPY NEW YEAR to you all! I wanted to send you oodles of warm and happy wishes for 2012 May 2012 b…

• All Claimed Posts »

moonlightsupper's Top (5) Replies by other users' votes

• (2 votes) Today my boyfriend and I were together and I said something that made him really angry and he told me to leave his house but I didn’t.
  

  I know this is not what you want to hear but I think you are deflecting from the real problem. You effectively provoked him when he was most likely trying to diffuse the situation.
  
  You escalated his anger and made things worse for you by insisting on staying. He did not hurt you. I also doubt he has a history of violence based on what you said and your reaction over what happened.
  
  You know you are at fault saying something to make him angry in the first place and now you are trying to make this about you. Face up to what is happening and if I were you I would apologize.
  
  By the way, I do not condone bullying or violence but in this case, I personally wouldn’t class it as either.
  
  - written 5 days, 22 hours ago – voted for by fractal.scatter, sage

• (2 votes) To the advice givers…A word of warning.
  

  Hey *ANON*, what qualifies you to give advice and warning on this?
  
  - written 1 month, 4 weeks ago – voted for by RuinsOfTheWorld

• (2 votes) My boyfriend of 3 years has issues with big changes.
  

  So you’ve been together since 16, and now at 19 aiming to settle. Perhaps he is not ready for this? or is in conflict within himself about it? I mean at his age, most guys are living their life and not confined to a family atmosphere. I am sure he loves you but at the same time, he probably doesn’t feel like missing out. He needs time away from home life.
  
  If what I said somewhat applies, I would suggest that you two talk about it and reach some compromise on balancing family life and his own social life away from this family life. He has to understand he has commitments but at the same time, he is not been restricted by family. The same ofcourse applies to you. You should have your own life as well, otherwise you will end up resenting him doing his own thing while you are stuck at home.
  
  - written 4 months ago – voted for by Sleep Well., BeautifulRose

• (2 votes) -
  

  Hi nebula, here’s something perhaps you may want to consider. I hope I don’t offend you in anyway.
  
  With you questioning self-created “false illusions” I couldn’t help but wonder about wrong motive. I mean what is the real driving force behind the choices you make? Why did you choose Astrophysics?
  
  Quite often we fail to follow through, not because we are “incompetent”, but its because what we aimed for what was never ‘us’ in the first place. Wrong motives have led many to despair and misery simply through chasing mirages (money, status, recognition, acceptance etc.)that are nothing but dirt when you get there.
  
  It is an established fact that if the right motive was behind our choices in life, we are more than likely to accomplish (with competence!) what we set out to do and actually enjoy ‘the ride’ while doing it.
  
  I hope you don’t make a rash decision yet. You may just be having a bad day. Step back, calm down and think this through very carefully. What do YOU really want?
  
  - written 5 months, 3 weeks ago – voted for by Robben, Daft Puck

• (2 votes) Help me get motivated to live my life again
  

  I now know that we really are our worst enemy. Change the way you talk, and you will change the way you think and feel- regardless of what happened. Hard? yes, I know, but make it an objective, it does get easier. Insist on being positive and challenge yourself to finding good things in situations and people. Abandon negativity in all its forms- including talking about little things like bad weather. You might think this is not going to make a slight bit of difference to the way you feel now, but believe you me, it will. You WILL eventually see yourself attracting desireable, positive things and exciting opportunities into your life. Remember, nothing stays the same, and it takes time. We often need to go through the valleys to get from one mountain top to another. Even then, you have a way to go before you get to the top. Thats just the way life seems to operate. Keep this thought in your mind. Resist your mind, refuse to allow it to dictate who you really are. Remember the happy days, remember what you have achieved. Start it all over again if you have to. You will see how life can be beautiful again and you can live it with remarkably renewed strength to overcome anything. You alone have to want this bad enough to make a difference to your life several months down the line. Believe me, by then your perspective will have changed dramatically.
  
  With all this in mind, I go back to my suggestion to think of 10 good things you are grateful for. Because you have this ‘dark cloud’ looming over your mind, and a certain ‘heaviness’ in your heart- you will find it difficult to think of the positives in your life. Somehow the mind will ‘twist’ anything you come up with to agree with the way you feel. Why? IT (your mind) seems more comfortable in that state right now. Be aware of this, you can actually start observing this happening, especially when you attempt to think of a good thing. The tough part here, is blocking the ‘buts’ that come after you think of something positive.
  
  Finally remember this: please, please don’t allow your feelings to distort and over-ride your reality. So, YES you are thankful that you can breathe fresh air and can do so unassisted. Whatever you do don’t allow your mind say stuff like: “yeah but I don’t need fresh air, the way I feel now I would rather die.” - no you don’t, not really. Instead say, I am happy to be alive and I will face whatever is up against me and I am not afraid and I will make it even better than before- I just need time”. No matter how hard you find it at times, keep saying it until your inner thoughts and feelings line up with the way you are talking. Take it a day at a time, small steps, you will get there.
  
  I did- and I’m glad I never gave up despite the ‘batterings’ and time it took to recover and ultimately create a much better quality of life than I ever had. I eventually came to admit I really had to go through with much of the pain I went through in order for me to enjoy what I have today.
  
  Please consider what I said and keep talking to yourself and try to think of 10 positive things in your life everyday. It will get easier if you keep at it, I promise you.
  
  I’d like to think that one day I will ’see you’ on the mountain top again.
  
  - written 6 months, 3 weeks ago – voted for by wil, wil

Last 5 Replies – All 2,562 replies »

• What happens if u get dog sperm inside of u
  

  Usually an infection
  - written 7 hours, 59 minutes ago

• Hi.
  

  Your ex. is messing you about and is a waste of your time. You got a new opportunity with a new guy, its only fair that you don’t get involved with anyone else behind his back.
  
  My advice is that you leave your ex. behind. He sounds like he has a habit of lying to get his way so you will never rest with him nor trust anything he says. You really don’t want that in your life.
  
  You will forget your ex. and it will be easier now you are dating. Focus on that and enjoy your time. Forget the facebook thing and trying to explain or find reasons why he did what he did. You will never arrive at the truth.
  
  I wish you all the best.
  - written 8 hours ago

• I’m 18 I used to get a lot of attention from
  

  Do not give up! mojo or no mojo keep trying, you are still young and just going through a dry spell :) cheer-up you’ll be fine.
  - written 8 hours, 9 minutes ago

• Advice please!
  

  It sounds like deep down you would like to give it another go but you are quite wary and don’t want a repeat of the past.
  
  If I were you, and since you want a family and already know this guy, I would ask for commitment. If he is prepared to marry you, you will know he is serious. If he agrees, I would date him for a while before actually going ahead with it- just to be extra sure.
  
  I truly believe everyone deserves a second chance and he really may be sincere with his intentions this time round. You still have to protect yourself though.
  - written 8 hours, 12 minutes ago

• I really don’t know what to do or think, help please!
  

  Hi Mary, from what you describe there is really not much to be confused about. The problem is that you want him to want you and he has made a decision and wants you to respect that.
  
  I understand you have strong feelings for him but honestly if you keep going back to him it will only work against you and antagonize him. He knows where to find you if he changes his mind.
  
  As for him not hanging up until you said goodbye thats nothing to dwell on too much. It strikes me as though he is already feeling guilty because you are trying hard and he is not reciprocating. To come across as though he ended the conversation may seem too rude (or hurtful) from him, and would play on his guilty feelings. So it was better for HIM that you ended the conversation rather than you- thats how I would interpret it.
  
  I know this is not what you want to hear but you need to move on. There is no point in hurting yourself more each time you try and get him back when he doesn’t want.
  
  Take care.
  - written 8 hours, 19 minutes ago

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