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• I am 45 years old and have given up on love too. posted (1 year, 6 months) ago
  What’s the point? you only set yourself up for disappointment and heartache. I have never had …

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• I am 45 years old and have given up on love too.
  

  Hello spacejunk
  You are right…you through your own experience of being naturally sexy see and know what I am faced with…sometimes I feel its hard being a woman…we can’t win…and it can leave us feeling so confused. You dress like how you feel like dressing on a particular day, and its a problem…Too beautiful - you attract the wrong guy…like a nun - no guy…what should we do?
  
  I am naturally shapely, …and realised earlier on that it had been contributing to me attracting the wrong type of men…so I started wearing baggy shirts…really long blouses and only wore trousers…but my girlfriends started saying I am the reason for not finding a guy, as I dress way too granny-ish…so sometimes I’d wear a modern dress/clothing and it always lead to the same thing …men who are not really interested in me as a person…I can feel it…when I try to find out about them, they just shut down…I try to tell them about myself…but their mind are just somewhere else…into undressing me…they are just not interested into really getting to know me as an individual…then when they gradually disappear and I ask them they either say …oh well…didn’t mean anything …just a fling…they are married…or well am not girlfriend material..all kind of b/s…I know that this is not the only problem and that I have to take responsibility for attracting these men, due to my self-confidence problem…but I am not always lacking self-confidence…it comes and goes you know…sometimes I feel very confident and another time, I am just low on confidence…unless there is some kind of radar that goes out to them at that time and direct them to me. Don’t know. Anyway, doesn’t matter now. I am ok…I am doing a course night classes and that is really helping me.
  
  Regarding this guy at work that blanked me…I can’t recall telling him anything out of the ordinary before he blanked me…there were a few days in between I dressed scruffy, I do that sometimes, if I am having an off day and can’t be bothered dressing up…otherwise I become a slave to the clothing..which I dont like…oh must always look this way…musn’t look like that…so what if I look scruffy sometime…I am the same person inside…I don’t know if that put him off.
  
  Oh! well, won’t loose anymore sleep over it…though it hurts…will put him out my mind slowly…might just blank him next time I see him…why should I be polite to someone who disregarded me like that. To think of it…better now than later, if he’d deceived me into thinking its a relationship and it got intimate…the hurt would have been deep…as it is now I’ll treat it as water off a duck’s back…next time I wont have any expectation until something more concrete and permanent has been established.
  
  Take care of self and thanks again for caring and sharing.
  - written 1 year, 6 months ago

• I am 45 years old and have given up on love too.
  

  Thanks for this recommendation…I will look it up online amazon.
  Thanks again.[quote aeolian mode]Another book that I believe will help you is “psycho cybernetics, by Maxwell Maltz[/quote]
  - written 1 year, 6 months ago

• I am 45 years old and have given up on love too.
  

  Hello Aeolian mode,
  No…not all, thank you for recommending that book, it is a good book, I bought the book and the movie when it came out some years ago…but you know how it is …at first I zealously put everything into practice…made my list to the universe etc…made my daily affirmations…then after a while I just stopped…lost interest I guess…I won’t be mad with you, because, I know what Anthony Robbins said…I believe its him that said it…said that before something happen in your physical world, you must first create it in the cosmic world through your thoughts…I keep check on my thoughts…my mind etc….perhaps somehow I have attracted these men through my thoughts and body language…see I have a confidence problem, through being abused in childhood, being raped as a teenager, and being bullied at work in the past …a guess these things all add up…and in the end… take its toll on you..you know…
  I haven’t been in a relationship if I can call it that since 7 years ago……now I am reflecting on myself, but lose perspective once in a while…like when this guy at work started flirting with me and suddenly started blanking me…interesting analysis …’until then you are just using men to try to heal some childhood issues…They are trying t teach you something about yourself…You are both using each other to burn off some karma….’ Am thinking now, maybe I’ll never be ready for a relationship…not going to happen for me…too damaged to be repaired…unrepairable! Thanks for caring…
  - written 1 year, 6 months ago

• I am 45 years old and have given up on love too.
  

  Hello southern comfort,
  You are right…I realise that I have to find a way to work on my self confidence for good…as that is a major problem for me. I will now go away and focus on your questions posed.
  Thanks for caring.
  Take care of yourself.
  - written 1 year, 6 months ago

• I am 45 years old and have given up on love too.
  

  Thank you Anonymous… I have never looked at it from that point of view which is certainly an interesting angle to view it from…yes, I might have well done that given up on being mistreated by people who think that’s the way I deserve to be treated. Who dare them? Thank you for this. I don’t watch TV anymore, because of my evening course, but I know the power & influence that certain movies wields over us cannot be underestimated.
  Thank you
  - written 1 year, 6 months ago

justliving's conversations are tagged:

Mistress, Material, anymore, Misery, disappointment, relationship, Expectation, girlfriend, disappear, Strength