2012-04-16 15:17:04 on I need help with the healing process of being in love with a married woman
I’m sure i could easily find one. are u seriously considering me adding something like that lol? isnt that pressuring her and forcing decisions upon her?
Do I need to give her another sign maybe? I dont know beatrice. Im getting scared/worried. Maybe she needs a subtle sign. something not too heavy, but tells her i miss her. i donno. Or do we continue to wait it out?
2012-04-16 15:10:27 on I need help with the healing process of being in love with a married woman
I dont know but maybe im fooling myself here but the fact that she added that “mystery in the making” song and then 3 days ago she added “I miss my friend” and left that song on the activity list must mean something… I know it’s been 3 days since shes added a song but shes left that song on her list for me to see it and continues to leave it there. I havent given her a sign in a week.
2012-04-16 06:10:53 on I need help with the healing process of being in love with a married woman
it just sucks that i miss her to pieces :(
2012-04-16 04:13:18 on I need help with the healing process of being in love with a married woman
I decided im not gonna go there. It would be very bad for the healing process. It has only been 2 1/2 weeks since we separated but feels like 2 1/2 months.
2012-04-16 03:56:26 on I need help with the healing process of being in love with a married woman
Do you mean drive by her parents tonight? Id only wanna drive by when id know if she would be sleeping there. Its probably going to torture me if i dont see her car there? Not sure if its a good idea to go there. I dont want to start the whole letting go process over again
2012-04-15 17:47:25 on I need help with the healing process of being in love with a married woman
I’m getting the deep gut feeling somethings happening beatrice. The 2nd to last song she added was “Mystery in the making” which the first sentence said about making a change. and then after she added the song about missing her friend. I have this huge gut feeling that shes distancing from both me and her husband right now. I can just sense it. She hasnt added a song in two days and in the pit of my stomach i can just feel that its what shes doing. I’m just trying to put the pieces together over the past 3 days. Shes either living with her parents or her husband is living with a friend or something. I can honestly feel it.
2012-04-15 13:38:40 on I need help with the healing process of being in love with a married woman
Another note i wanted to add was that although he is being “nice and wonderful” to her they still have HORRIBLE communication and she isnt honest with him and hes not trusting of her… I think that has a major impact on things still.
2012-04-15 11:47:38 on I need help with the healing process of being in love with a married woman
I believe my hope train will be exiting the station very shortly though. I don’t see any changes coming anytime soon and I doubt shes going to update her playlist anymore. If she does then that is the only left and it means shes trying to keep me waiting.
2012-04-15 11:44:19 on I need help with the healing process of being in love with a married woman
Also note that she doesnt just want someone “being wonderful” to her. She wants love and passionate/intimate love. Not just a person that is nice to her. She wants a best friend that loves her and makes her feel loved.
2012-04-15 11:41:47 on I need help with the healing process of being in love with a married woman
yup i know… it means she thinks theres a possible chance it will work out for them. BUT she also said right after that “but i’m still far from anywhere with him”.
ok so i just was watching a show that had a situation just like the married girls situation. shes living and sleeping in the same bed as the person she used to be in love with. Shes not happy at all but is too afraid of change. She wants to moveout but because he is poor and has no job she doesnt want to do that too him even though she is so unhappy. They had sex every once in a while but what their pyschatrist said was that even though the couple didnt consider themselves even in a relationship they are because they still live in the same house and in the same bed. So the woman said to the man “if u love her u need to let her go”. because he still wants their relationship to work. He is the one putting her through all the pain and suffering. She said to him that if u want to cure her from all this pain u need to just let her go. So this is exactly the situation that my married girl is in. She feels this guilt for her husband even when shes unhappy but because he wants to work on things and isnt ready to divorce that its making her suffer. Her husband needs to man up and let her go and if she comes back then its meant to be for them. But he owe’s it to her to let her decide on her own… Just like i let her go even when we love EACH OTHER.
2012-04-15 09:40:18 on I need help with the healing process of being in love with a married woman
Just simple supplies like pots and pans and bowls. Easily replaced. She was just saying that it would be the only thing she would want if she divorced. So it wasn’t a big deal to her to lose anything else.
Maybe she just wasn’t ready to move out and live with her parents yet. I know she mentioned she didnt enjoy staying at her parents cause they kinda get on her nerves whenever she stayed there while she was mad at him.
The last that she told me before we separated was that hes “trying” and “being wonderful to her”… So i asked her does it come off as him being fake? and she said “only sometimes”. So I would say i garuntee he isnt blackmailing her. He is just sweetening her up and making sure not to cause arguments etc. But what that also implies is that hes probably not loving her. He’s just avoiding any problems from happening and trying everything in his power to “make her happy”. Too me that is totally fake. You shouldnt have to try to make someone happy. its only fooling urself. Me and her never had to try to impress each other. we just acted ourselves and thats what we loved most. i never went out of my way in my eyes to make her happy. infact i did everything at a lower level just to make sure it didnt come off as trying to impress her which i never wanted to do.
I told her that i hope that me separating from her will give her the strength to make changes. The only thing we can base her decisions on is our playlist at this point. She hasnt added a song in 2 days. I havent added a song in 6 days. So she has not gotten any signs from me in 6 days. She starts her part time job tomorrow…
I should not drive to her parents house randomly one night to see if her car is in the parking lot right? That would just give false hope or false information if its there or not. Her playlist consists of 24 songs and about 22 of them are about missing me and only 2 are about loving me.
2012-04-15 05:37:20 on I need help with the healing process of being in love with a married woman
beatrice u in sync with me or something because i barely slept last night thinking how “time is ticking” and its ticking FAST. It’s ticking so fast that I dont even think i could last till the end of may at this rate. In my opinion you would know ur decision sooner than the end of may BUT the only thing keeping me from saving that date is that she cant make her decision because she isnt SEPARATING from him. shes living with him day in and day out. If she were to separate and live with her parents she would be able to decide instantly.
A week before we separated and I yelled about how her husband is a coward and all this stuff i mentioned that she has pity for him and thats why shes married to him. So that is definitely in her head that its a reason why shes still with him. She did mention that if she divorced she would probably give him the house although her dad said she should take half the money for it. (this was months ago). All she said she would want is the kitchen supplies because she loves cooking. I have literally everything and she wouldnt need to take a single thing from her house and she could give him everything. Ive only had my house for 8 months and it is decked out… I even have a king size bed that shes obsessed with and they only have a Queen size and they have had a house together for 4 years… She helps pay his student loans still.. I have no student loans… she has no debt and nor do i, but he has debt.. expecially the 8,000 wedding ring they bought that they are still paying off…
There is always that chance that things dont work out between us and thats what is in the back of her mind. I think and im just assuming here but maybe she thinks after a few years she will be in the same state of mind that her and her husband are and she doesnt feel loved or something because the “puppy love” feeling is gone and then she would have divorced for no reason. But on the other side of things she has never had a connection like we have had with her husband.
She could be afraid that he will commit suicuide like his brother did. Shes afraid that he will stalk her life with whatever guy shes with after they divorce. (I told her you can get a restraining order on him and she just giggled at me thinking it was a joke). After telling him she cheated after and how he reacted and FLIPPED OUT like a raging bull from Mexico she is so scared of him physically and emotionally. He punched a hole in a door and called her a sl_ut and wh_ore and all these bad things right to her face.
Time is ticking so fast beatrice. unbelievably fast. I’m hanging on by threads at this point.
2012-04-14 13:29:26 on I need help with the healing process of being in love with a married woman
good question beatrice. nobody has yet to ask that yet lol.
This case is beyond insane actually. Our communication is unlike anything ive ever experienced and same goes for her. We are so trusting of each other… we had sexual intercourse with no condom… u know how much trust she had in me that i would not have an accident inside her… thats besides the point but our honesty is another huge thing we have going for us. I told her so many deep dark secrets and personal things that nobody else knew about me.
Her husband has a decent job. I have a better job. I have a bigger house, i have more money, i have parents who will pay for anything i need incase i lose my job so that they wont let me lose my house. she knows all this too. So supporting her is NO ISSUE at all.
I think what shes afraid of is a few things. First off shes afraid that he will have nothing and what will happen to him if they divorce. second off i think shes afraid that if she divorces that me and her have that possibility that things wont work out the way we want them too. Shes afraid of change and risking a marriage for the “unknown”… but see risk is what love is all about. its taking those chances rather than taking the easy way out which is what shes doing and which is why shes unhappy.
We all know her marriage wont work out. Its possible it can be bandaid fixed for a bit of time.. maybe a year… but its going to go back to what it was over and over because the past never changes, nor do people ever change. She is really going to be in trouble if she gets pregnant again by him.
All she needs to do is separate from him and she will see what her real feelings are for him. She has to realize he will be fine without her and he will find love. She just lives her life to keep him happy and thats so dumb because he cant be “happy” with her either.
2012-04-14 10:33:54 on I need help with the healing process of being in love with a married woman
I changed my facebook picture back to my old one. Because I don’t want her to think im waiting for her by having that pic up. Remember we arent friends on facebook. She uses her brothers account to view my picture. She cant see anything people write on my wall or anything. SHe can only see my profile picture.
2012-04-14 09:41:55 on I need help with the healing process of being in love with a married woman
This really sucks. She hasn’t added any songs. I feel like my life is to only be with her and to be communicating with her all the time. I feel completely empty when i am not hearing from her. I cant believe its been 2 weeks of no communication and the feelings are just growing stronger… When i seperated from my ex the first 3 days were so difficult but after that it just got so much easier.