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• I have deep slashes on my wrists, I went for the vein
  

  Well, it’s a point of view I will at least have to explore now. I have a meeting with another Psychiatrist tomorrow, I will go and see what comes next.
  
  I know this, regardless of whether my outlook improves or not, I’ll not be trying anything like that again anytime soon. Last night really knocked the stuffing out of me.
  
  Anyway, thanks folks, I mean it, you’re good people and I wish you all nothing but happiness.
  - written 1 year, 4 months ago

• I have deep slashes on my wrists, I went for the vein
  

  The paramedics turned up. They put 5stiches in my right wrist and 4 in my left. The right wouldn’t stop bleeding for a while, they were concerned about that.
  
  Turns out I was completely mistaken about where I should cut, luckily I missed the tendon in my left wrist, though it was plainly visible before the sutures.
  
  You would think that I’d have least wiki’d it prior to doing it huh? My stupidity knows no bounds it seems.
  
  The physch’ bunch had a chat, going to put me on anti-depressants following futher evaluation tomorrow.
  
  So now, here I am, sore, still ****** up in every imaginable way + I have this crap to contend with too.
  
  If there’s any sort of message in all of this, I’d probably hazard a guess it is this:
  
  If you are contemplating suicide; know that it is both difficult to get right and almost always painful & frustrating in equal measure, chances are you will get it wrong due to misconceptions and the consequences often add even more to be down about.
  
  To those that responded; I thank you sincerely. While I can’t promise that I’ll be living happily ever after from this point on, know that you were at least there for someone who really needed you at a time that really mattered and that I will at least see the sun rise on another day.
  
  Peace, J.
  - written 1 year, 4 months ago

• I have deep slashes on my wrists, I went for the vein
  

  Did you get scared too? It’s weird isn’t it? I’m really not as stupid as my deeds tonight (or the very select portions of my 42 years I’ve shared here tonight) would lead a reasonable person to conclude.
  
  No matter how stolid I am in my non-belief in organised religion yet on each and every one of the 3 occasions I’ve tried to end it, the thought always pops up…
  
  What if there is an afterlife and suicide is a one way trip to eternal suffering? Now that would be a cruel irony, it took a twisted mind to come up with that idea it seems to me.
  
  Dragon_Lady: I hear you, I do, I know there’s hope, but I’m tired too. So damned tired. Tired and weak.
  - written 1 year, 4 months ago

• I have deep slashes on my wrists, I went for the vein
  

  Thank you for listening, seriously, I hope this might help someone, I have no idea how, learn from my mistakes, whatever… I really don’t know. I guess if I came looking for some cathartic experience, well, never mind that, I just want the pain to stop. Please. I just want it to stop.
  - written 1 year, 4 months ago

• I have deep slashes on my wrists, I went for the vein
  

  I could say it’s a low blow to remind me of the impact is has on my loved ones to take my life, but that’s an equation I’ve been weighing for a long time, believe me.
  
  Up till now I sided with your sentiments, NO I Do Not want to inflict any pain whatsoever on them, of course I don’t.
  
  But you know what? A time comes when you are living each day solely because you don’t want to do that to people you care about and eventually it dawns on you, that’s not enough of a reason to continue.
  
  You have no f****** idea how much it hurts - that realisation, and now I’m crying again…
  - written 1 year, 4 months ago

joolsyu's conversations are tagged:

Bleeding, Outcome, Bath, Razor, Frustration, Self harm, Suicide attempt, heroin, suicide, failed