Anehta1's profile at Help.com

User Involvement

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• Why do racists do this?
  

  This reminds me of something my father once shared with me (he at the time was an atheist). He would have different religious groups come by his home unannouced asking if they could spread the word (whatever their word happened to be - Jehovah’s Witness, Mormon, whatever) with him. He would tell them, if I can tell you first what I believe. Never once did anyone accept his “offer”. People surround themselves in an eggshell of what makes them feel good/okay. If you poke at that, they feel threatened and shut down. Being open-minded, sharing and LISTENING are the only way we’ll ever make a change. If someone feels heard, perhaps they too will listen. We cannot change others, but perhaps leading by example will inspire others to change.
  - written 1 year, 4 months ago

• I need urgent advice.
  

  Document everything! Write it down, post it online, whatever, somewhere you and possibly a loved-one can get to should they need to. Document when you see him, what you say to him (about you wanting out of the relationship). Try to only see him in public places if possible. If he is “assessed”, I would expect based on the cutting and whatnot, that he would be placed in care (which he can’t leave voluntarily for quite some time — weeks if I’m not mistaken). Hopefully, he will get the medicine and counseling he needs during that time so that you will not have to leave/move. You shouldn’t have to and if you were to move, I’d be willing to bet he’d probably follow you anyway. Do not allow yourself to be alone with him ever no matter how calm he seems or how tired you are. It isn’t safe based on what you’ve told us. Tell you manager at work about the situation (if you don’t want to get too personal just advise that you believe your ex is stalking you and do they have any type of security that could assist you in keeping him away from your work place). Don’t know how successful that would be but I had a stalker in college and the campus police and the place I worked kept an eye out for the guy and his vehicle and quickly took care of him if he did show up so that eventually, he gave up. Again, good luck.
  - written 1 year, 4 months ago

• I need urgent advice.
  

  I doubt this guy is just going to decide to up and leave you (or this situation) on his own. I wish I had better news. I also strongly recommend that you contact your family and advise them of what’s going on. As well, I would (as discreetly as possible) contact your local police department the next time you are with him and he cuts himself or locks himself in the bathroom. They have the ability to take him to a hospital which would then more than likely commit him to a mental facility where he can get the help he obviously so badly needs. If he can’t do it for himself and you are afraid of his behavior, I don’t see any other options. People have become stalkers and done much worse things left to their own devices. Act soon and decisively and good luck!
  - written 1 year, 4 months ago

Anehta1's conversations are tagged:

suicide, bipolar, Ideology, racists, Reasons, Double, Racism, reason, stupid, reply, suck, Relationship Advice., Self harm