eacoyle's profile at Help.com

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Last 2 Posts Authored

• As a child I could never understand why the holidays could be a sad time for adults, but now, I see that being alone at Christmas time (even when around posted (11 months, 2 weeks) ago
  a child I could never understand why the holidays could be a sad time for adults, but now, I see th…

• 2.5 months ago my girlfriend and one time fiancee broke off our relationship of 5+ years. posted (2 years, 8 months) ago
  I feel lost and lonely and scared and don’t know what to do. Sometimes it feels like my hear…

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eacoyle's Top (2) Replies by other users' votes

• (1 vote) Closed
  

  Peel it back here a bit and look at the larger issue. The reality is the emotions we feel start and end with us. Neither she nor her actions ‘make’ you feel a certain way, it’s you allowing and reacting to them. You have the power to control and react in any way you see fit. Easier said than done? Yes, of course. But the goal of it all is to realize and find that although you may feel like you’ve given her the power, you realize that you haven’t. You’ve just stopped using the power you have. Find the confidence, the security and the happiness in being on your own and not relying on or needing someone else to provide that and my guess is, if you still want her, she’ll be jumping at the chance.
  
  - written 1 year, 8 months ago – voted for by seeuseeme

• (1 vote) I won’t be back much.
  

  Beachgirl - It’s obviously tough to give to specific advice since you don’t have much explanation but I can say a few general things about feeling betrayed by those you trust:
  
  1. Any way you slice it, it sucks.
  2. If these are people that truly matter to you, really truly matter, you have to talk to them tell them how what they have done has made you feel and hopefully, if they are worth it they will understand and work to remedy that with you. But if they dont…
  3. Sometimes, you kind of have to view this sort of stuff as a sort of process that weeds out the people that aren’t worth our most precious of comodities - time and care. I know it’s a hard point of view to take but you want to surround yourself with what you deserve and that’s people that live their lives by the same standards and rules you do.
  4. Don’t lose hope, look around here, people care and even if these people are just faceless screen names view them as a reminder that there are people in this world of ours that care about the well being of others, people that want to help and people that, although they don’t know you, still want the best for you.
  
  Hang in there and know that people will be here when you are ready to share more.
  
  - written 2 years, 7 months ago – voted for by alliesmom

Last 5 Replies – All 151 replies »

• 2.5 months ago my girlfriend and one time fiancee broke off our relationship of 5+ years.
  

  That’s still a bit tough to answer I’m afraid. Because I still have the odd day when I struggle with the memory of who I thought she was and the life I thought we had.
  - written 8 months, 3 weeks ago

• Ok I’m having a really hard time and I’ve never posted anything like this before but I don’t know what else to do.
  

  I think there is a lot of good advice and guidance here. I think Brad’s right, I think he knew then and knows now that you loved and always will have love for him. As for what you are feeling right now, not being able to function/unable to get out of bed, it is something that takes time and that’s all that can heal you. However, if the situation is resulting in a a physically manifesting depression. You definitely should go see your doctor. Tell him or her what is going on and they may prescribe something that will help you manage the depression so that you can start to work through the grief. I’m terribly sorry for your loss.
  - written 11 months, 1 week ago

• As a child I could never understand why the holidays
  

  Patience will add perspective Former. I was exactly where you are and the time, as cliche as it may sound, does heal. The only thing I would suggest you do is focus solely on you and the things you can control. We and we alone are responsible for our own happiness and contentment.
  - written 11 months, 1 week ago

• As a child I could never understand why the holidays
  

  Where are your family and friends? What has happened?
  - written 11 months, 2 weeks ago

• As a child I could never understand why the holidays
  

  So what do you do? See for me, I still have my family around but I miss the one that’s no longer there.
  - written 11 months, 2 weeks ago

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