Thank you for that. :)
All words hold meaning. . . There is nothing special about mine. Just words on a page S.
I say (and always have said) the meaning/interpretation comes from the reader.
It is you that decides truth from the rest.
I’ll take not bad! We all need a break from our troubles. Like a holiday! Fun in the sun.. lol
I always listen to music when I am online.
What are listening to?
I write for a good few hours everyday. It does help some.
I don’t get to talk with him much, but I suppose it is unfair to try when I’m just going to end up making him upset.
I am not sure why he bothers me so much.. I just completely messed up by telling him about my last suicide attempt, he did ask what was wrong, I don’t think I should have answered, and I haven’t talked with him about anything personal since. But that’s what I had loved about our conversations. :(
I know he is just trying to help but it keeps me awake at night thinking about what he said and I have enough troubling thoughts. But when I tell him that, he is hurt by the lack of trust. but thats not the reason why I don’t want to bring it up..
I have 3 suggestions but I don’t feel any of them will be helpful.
Firstly, keep writing. It is a good way to sort your thoughts and vent. It doesn’t have to be poems or even anything that makes sense to anyone else reading it. It can be helpful just to get the thoughts out and in front of you.
Second, don’t agree to talk when you are tired and/or frustrated. From my experience, it never ends well for either person. At moments like that, you are better off logging out before saying a word or saying “good night, talk to ya later”.
My third suggestion is to find a way to sleep. I don’t know how you can do that but maybe your doctor can offer some ideas.
What is it about your friend that upsets you? Is he trying to help or is he trying to push your buttons? What is your take on it?
The inspiration of my poem actually lol. Around one in the morning my friend came on msn and wanted to talk. I started telling him about my insomnia and.. such before I even noticed what I was doing. He had caught me in the middle of writing and I was just completely focused on my thoughts. Honestly, I don’t even remember half of what I told him, I just saw the reply “So do you want to talk now?” and immediately tried to change the conversation. he wouldn’t let me. I was very tired and irritable.. and began snapping at him about not wanting to bother and then just logged off. His reply to that was “I don’t have time for a cat and mouse game, sorry”
I was not trying to be so rude.. Last time I talked with him it bothered me very much and is mostly the cause of my insomnia. I had done so good at blocking out my self destructive thoughts.. and he just had to poke and prod.. I don’t want him to be angry, but I’m not sure what to do. Any suggestions? :/
No, I was not trying to tell you to shut up. I just don’t know what to say about that. From my experience talking changes nothing and only causes more problems. I do appreciate you trying to help though.