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• I recently found out my fiance slept with another woman. posted (9 months, 3 weeks) ago
  Now..I should tell you the back layings of this story. I was engaged to this man for nearly 3 years …

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• I recently found out my fiance slept with another woman.
  

  [quote Spunky]Hi
  
  well my thought would be to ask yourself what you want out of the relationship? do you see being with him, even marrying him an/or having kids?
  
  Is jelousy and worry ruining your life because of what he did?
  
  You should listen to your heart.. can you trust him again? Can you forgive AND forget? Should you have to? Does he deserve you? Like you said, you werent together at the time, but it still hurts.. sometimes those feelings never really go away. Unless you can work it out, id say to move on but thats just me..[/quote]
  
  I try to listen to my heart. I know deep down I can forgive him and we could eventually move past this..I guess it will just take time. I have my doubts like any normal person though. Yes, we weren’t technically together, but it never seemed real to me until all of this happened. That’s honestly the worst part to me. Thanks for the advice.
  - written 9 months, 3 weeks ago

• I recently found out my fiance slept with another woman.
  

  [quote lifelover]Heartbreak is the worst, yes. Obviously “taking a break” is not a healthy thing unless it just means getting distance from each other so you’re not on each other’s nerves. You can’t just take a break on a love affair any more than you can temporarily have a different heart for a few weeks. Similarly, forgiveness is not so easy, whether you ‘move on’ or not. The feelings are still in your heart. The good news is that you can feel better by forgiving and if you look up webpages about “how to forgive” you can find safe and helpful psychological advice.[/quote]
  
  I think I would feel better about everything once I can forgive him. I think I’m on my way..Nothing like this has ever happened to me. I’ve been dumped and cheated on before but they all seem pointless and silly looking back. This relationship was what I had dreamed of the day I had met him.I know in my heart that I would never fight this hard for something not worth my time. I try to tell myself that at least.. Thanks for the advice!
  - written 9 months, 3 weeks ago

• I recently found out my fiance slept with another woman.
  

  [quote chev.jame]OK, you and he “took a break” and he felt that he had no obligation to you at that point–and he really didn’t–and he had sex with another woman. When people “take breaks” from each other, this kind of thing can happen. It is, in fact, to be expected . . . as people try to validate themselves some other way when the relationship isn’t doing that for them.
  
  The ONLY problem I see at this point is his saying “I don’t know what I want out of life.”
  
  You need to get him to clarify what he means by that statement. Does he mean that he doesn’t know if he wants you or not, or doesn’t know if he wants to get married–to anyone? THAT’S the question.
  
  I don’t think you should hold the other woman against him, as YOU could have done the same thing that he did. What you need to find out is his feelings about you, and YOUR feelings about him.
  
  Was whatever led to the “break” resolved? Or is it still orbiting your relationship?[/quote]
  
  Yes we did take a break, thats why I feel so silly about the whole thing. I hear people talk about this kind of thing all the time..like you said, its to be expected.
  I do have a serious problem with him not knowing what he wants out of life, but really, neither do I. No one really knows what they want, but I can also say I know what I want and what I don’t want in life. I don’t really look to follow a plan, I just live life the way I live it…I think that’s what he’s trying to do now which I totally respect..But idk were on different pages sometimes
  I try not to ever mention this other girl..but it’s on my mind. I know he still cares deeply about me as I do him. He says he doesn’t want a relationship b/c he wants to do what he wants when he wants. Not saying I think he wants to sleep with other people, he doesn’t want the responsibility that comes with dedication I think…
  I honestly don’t even know what led us to break up. Isn’t that sad? I just remember we broke up in a Chilis. Yes..Chili’s. I think at the time we were both so busy with our own things and you know how you get too comfortable? I guess that and honestly I can say we both gave up. Neither one of us tried hard enough to save what I had always thought was something worth my time. I still do.
  Thanks for your reply.
  - written 9 months, 3 weeks ago

Beatrixx's conversations are tagged:

silly things, broken heart, Another Woman, SOMEONE ELSE, definition, heartbreak, curiosity, Deep Down