lovingeachothe's reply history at Help.com

My3sons4ever…if he were just the man I married nothing more nothing less…that would be enough…

eacoyle…I do admit fear in talking to him…his ego is fragile and often leads him to respond with anger…I need to find words to give him that honour him and allow him to hear how else he can/could provide for me successfully…that is the difficulty.

Hello eacoyle, I wanted to respond to this question you wrote: how do I start finding a new place and stop thinking about the old one?

My world changed when I took care of my dying aunt during her last month of life. I saw a working family with all it’s greatness and weakness and I witnessed what was in my oppinion the most perfect death. A long time married woman passing with her husband, 3 children and their partners and children all touching her and telling her they loved her the moment she took her last breath.

That moment turned my world around. I broke off a ‘never should have started’ 4 year relationship, grieved heavily for that and the way I’d chosen to live my life at that point and then jumped into dating many men…learning about what I wanted and what I really dreamed about.

I was motivated by that death. I knew if I kept living life the way I was I was not going to have the death I just witnessed. I did and am doing everything in my power now to have the most perfect death…it starts with a life well lived.

Thanks for asking the question…it reminds me that I chose to put myself where I am and must continue to do what it takes to build my best path to my perfect death…

Thanks My3sons4ever…I am hoping and praying that that is the case…

Thanks eacoyle, sometimes it’s hard for me to see that insight when he’s not working and choosing to play video games…the missing info is that he was laid off in july of last year and has been working as a bouncer, labourer on and off since then.

I definately had an expectation that because he wasn’t working at his career he’d be more into the home prep jobs…but that has not been the case…I think he’s depressed at not being in a better position to provide…and me pointing out other ways he’s not providing doesn’t help the matter…

I tried to see the matter simply but it feels so complicated.

Coronilla,
The best advise I ever got about understanding men is to look at their actions and not what they say or don’t say. It was good advise because it revealed the truth most times…but I didn’t always like that truth!