i don’t think anyone is really meant to be anything. our life is in your own hands and you are capable of anything you believe worth trying. you are the only thing holding yourself back. your fear of rejection is your biggest weakness, not any sort boring personality or unimpressive looks. the sooner you face your fears and manage your anxiety, the more free you will be. have some faith in yourself. stop saying you can’t do it.
like i said before, social skills only come with practice. this next year you will have a chance to develop your communication skills, and you definitely won’t be the only person out there with insecurities or self-doubt. don’t take meeting people so seriously. if someone doesn’t like you, then it’s best that you don’t become their friend. if someone is awkward or rude, then that’s okay, there’s always other people out there worth discovering. but don’t tell your self that you have nothing to offer in a friendship. everyone does. don’t let your self-doubt sabotage the friendships you have because you’re too afraid to grow into the person you are.
I’m always intimidated talking to people, I always think that I’ll say something embarrassing and that people look down on me.
I feel like people who are my peers are so much older and more mature than me. I really don’t feel comfortable around people socially. Almost all of the time I feel much more comfortable when I’m alone.
I don’t really feel like I have much to offer people. I don’t really have a lot of interests that are similar with people our age.
Especially I can’t imagine a girl finding me attractive, because I lack a lot of confidence. And of course experience.
I feel like I don’t have a whole lot to offer as a person.
And I’m not hugely looking forward to living with other people, but it’s something I’ll deal with.
everyone has the same doubts you have, no matter how social they appear to be. everyone sometimes wonders whether there really is anything worthwhile and special about them, or whether the friends they have really enjoy their company. especially in a new social situation, everyone wonders how they will fit in the society that they are entering into. everyone struggles a bit when they try to find the right people to surround themselves with.
i believe the key to finding your place among people is to try to “meet” as many people as possible. sometimes it’s pretty easy as joining a club that you’re interested in. in that situation it’s usually the people around you who get you involved with others and help you meet other people in the club. another way to meet people is to simply say “yes”. if someone asks a favor of you, if someone invites you somewhere, say yes. if someone missed class, offer to let them get a copy of your notes. if someone wants to do a cook-off, or a study session, say yes. people are constantly trying to get together, so just go along with the flow. i’m introverted like you are, but i realize that good things don’t come to people who are afraid to try. another thing, if you’re feeling a bit more active, is you can try to approach other people who appear to be shy like you are. in my experience, shy and strange people tend to make very interesting and good friends, so i make an effort to introduce myself and get to know them.
why do you think that no one would ever want to get to know you?
I’m going to a “real” university this fall, I’ve been going to a community college.
and I’m going to be living away from home. That’s not new, as I have lived away from home before in a dorm-like setting, and it was a really strange experience for me. Very uncomfortable in some ways but I managed to survive.
I’m not really looking forward to living in that kind of environment again, but I’ll get by.
I wish I had better social skills and more confidence before going off to college this fall.
A lot of times I don’t think that people would ever want to know me.
My last semester of community college is going well and I’m working on a few projects that are going well but I am not as social as “normal people” and I feel I need to be more social.
but it really scares me.
I’m always self-conscious and feel I will embarrass myself.
hey, i haven’t been around much because i just graduated from college, and life has been pretty busy. i haven’t even opened up my laptop since finals week!
in answer to your first question, i’m not really sure what i think of introverted people. i myself am an introverted person. i spent over half my life without anyone really close to me, even family. i was always a tomboy and pretty socially awkward. in middle school i was bullied a little bit, but i think i was so unable to understand antagonistic feelings of others that it didn’t really bother me that much. having ingenuine “friends” didn’t bother me that much, but when i went to high school i cut all ties. i made friends in high school, and i’ve really been pretty much the same person since then. i finally realized how much a good friend was worth, so i made an effort to start meeting people. even though i’m still introverted and large social situations tire me out, i think it’s worth it to put yourself out there as much as possible. so maybe the question should be not so much what i think about introverted people, but what i think about introverted people who use their own personality to trap themselves in a life they don’t love. you as a person are extremely valuable, even if it doesn’t always feel that way. no matter how unspecial we sometimes feel we are really and truly irreplaceable. so enjoy your personality and let other people enjoy you too. we all have something worth sharing, and there’s always someone out there worth meeting who perhaps can share something you’ve never experienced before. there’s too much life out there and too little time to be afraid of the world and what you can do in it.