Dr. Ozy's shout trail with MaddyBee - Help.com

haha, promise! :)

yeah! good for you! :] glad to hear you’re doing better. you should smile more. :)

Ozy!!! :D Hi! Well, I think I’m doing much better now. But GUESS WHAT?! A couple of days ago, I was lying in bed trying to fall asleep, and I started thinking, and I ended up thinking about me and David and the memories we’ve had. Well, normally, I’d get all sad remembering them because he’s gone, but I found myself SMILING!!!! BREAK THROUGH!!! :D

sorry about your situation. it’s hard to find a guy who knows exactly what he wants at your age, simply because we are changing so much. it’s hard to know what we want when we as people are growing and evolving.
the thing to do would be to accept that at this point in life, he’s can’t really handle a relationship. he’s a nice guy, but not a good boyfriend. he’s unreliable. he’s non-committal. this is not the kind of guy you should be waiting for. so scratch that, “i’m waiting for him to want me again” idea from your mind. this is not the guy for you, and if you EVER think about taking him back, it better take more than just him coming back to you with a smile on his face and an apology.
as he is, he’s a heartbreaker. he doesn’t mean to, but he’s playing with your heart. the memories were good, but the relationship was incomplete. whenever you start thinking about old memories, distract yourself with other things. and remind yourself that a good relationship is one that doesn’t have a time limit.
if you ever want to give your relationship another shot, it will be with someone who is mature enough to know what they want and knows that person is you. if he can be that guy, then so be it. if he can’t, the situation doesn’t get any better just because you want it to be.

Well, he changed his mind, he just wants to be friends, so that kind of stinks at the moment. Plus, I’m having trouble getting over him (well, that isn’t too new) but now I know he isn’t coming back, so it got a little harder, and he’s inadvertently taking advantage of that. You know, like how the girl is heart broken and can’t get over him, so he feels better about himself and all that. But then I was thinking of how that ends. Because once the girl starts getting over the guy, the guy kind of thinks “Wait a minute…what exactly am I letting go of here?” and all of that. So one, I kind of want him to realize that because he really is a good guy and I didn’t want our relationship to end that way, and second, I need to get over him at least for now because, well, you know. Like, I need to stop looking back at memories and then getting all sad because he’s gone. Haha.

did something happen?

Ahhhh Ozy I hate being a teenager. :( I’m too naive help me! Haha. But really….TOO MUCH GOING ON!!!

Well, at first I was really upset and hurt, because I thought he had feelings for her and he pretty much betrayed me, but then I found out that they were talking before it started and they just skated together to keep talking. But oh my god I SWEAR that girl hates my guts for no reason! Every time they would pass me, she’d look at me quick, then she’d laugh at something he said or find an excuse to touch his and I was thinking the entire time, “You hate me for no reason, well gosh darnit, im gonna give ya a reason!” :P

hmmm. so what’s your take on this whole situation?

…..I pressed the shout button too many times.. Oppsies. :P

Ohh God…..Friday was NOT fun…. He couples skated with that Mercedes girl… :/

Ohh God…..Friday was NOT fun…. He couples skated with that Mercedes girl… :/

Ohh God…..Friday was NOT fun…. He couples skated with that Mercedes girl… :/

i hope everything works out for both of you. i do know it’s hard to deal with a relationship when someone is going through a rough time, for him and for you too. i hope that in your time apart things will settle down and you can reconnect. i wish you the best of luck! :)

Hey sorry I haven’t been on in awhile. Track season just started. And yeah, we’re still really good friends, and when we were finally able to just sit down and talk about it, I found out that he’s just going through something and he just would really like to be alone for that. I mean, we’re not married or anything, so I can understand and respect that. He also said that it’s defiantly not over between the two of us because he really cares about me and he would just really like to be alone while he’s dealing with this. (His exact words.) And I really do believe him when he says that because anyone can see he still really cares about me. Plus, maybe some time apart is good for the both of us. :) Thanks for the help. You ROCK!!!

are you going to remain friends while you aren’t dating? i understand that being in a relationship adds extra stress, but are you still going to remain in contact?

Hey Ozy. I think I’m starting to understand what he’s trying to say now. We were at the dance (our school has a casual dance every Friday and we all go sometimes) and he sat me down and just tried to explain it all to me. First off, he asked me like if I still cared about him and if I still had feelings for him and then I just asked him why he kept asking me all of these questions and he told me that he just wanted to know for sure and that he wasn’t trying to torture me or anything. Then he said that he just really needs some time right now because he’s going through some really bad stuff and that he just would rather be alone while he’s going through them. He also said that if I was still willing and if I still cared about him that he would want to get back together with me once he was all sorted out. And I truely do believe that he’s telling the truth, because I don’t think either one of us are the kind of people to let a fight get in the way of a year long relationship, and he’s DEFINATLY NOT the type to play mind games with a girl. Then before he left, he said “Please don’t cry.”, hugged me, and kissed my forehead. Then when he left I ended up crying and someone went and told him, so he ended up running over and holding me just saying sorry over and over again, and I felt really bad because I made him feel even worse about it.

I know he would want to get back together and that he still really cares about me, but what if while he’s not with me, he finds another girl, or becomes happier without me?

well it was also immature of him for making such a terrible deal of it too and saying nothing about what you might have done wrong or how to fix it. it takes two people to argue, and it was a legitimate issue, but it shouldn’t have blown up as it did.

maybe its for the best. maybe you need a boyfriend who can deal with arguments and be more considerate in the first place. whatever happens, i wish you good luck.

Well he said that he needed time in a note he gave me, and today he said time, its him, and the night at skateaway was added in VERY quickly. I mean, I’m not stupid…That’s the reason why he did what he did. Now I’m ready to kick myself for starting the stupid fight in the first place.

dang, i’m really sorry about that. that’s terrible. did he say why?

He*

Well, today was great…not. Be broke up with me. In the middle of lunch. I couldn’t say anything. Part of me was just hoping that after a minute he was going to say “Got cha” and laugh and hug me like always. So, yeah. Ended up crying my eyes out on the bus. Felt terrible for my friends having to sit there watching me without a clue on what to do. :’( so this really sucks.

did you give it to him with his guy friends around? or did he take it himself and you heard about it from someone else?

Hey, well, I wrote him a letter with everything you told me to talk about (because I’m terrible at talking so it would all just come out like a landslide if I tried to say it all at once). I explained my feelings on the whole night, and that I realized how I hurt him and I said sorry, but that even if he didn’t realize, he hurt me too. He sat down, read it, and then LAUGHED with his guy friends about it! LAUGHED! I mean, how the heck is THAT something to laugh about? Saying sorry and explaining how I felt isn’t exactly a comedy book. He usually never acts like this and it hurt A LOT. Considering last time I got upset I kinda jumped to a conclusion (at the skating rink) so, any advice before I make a move? Because that just REALLY confused me. :(

you’re welcome. i really hope that you and your boyfriend work your argument out. it would be a shame to get bent outta shape over something so small and easy to fix. don’t forget to consider that if someone normally nice is acting rude or strange, they could be hurting. and whenever you’re in an argument or some similar situation, remember to ask yourself if the matter at hand is worth hurting the other person’s feelings for. that’s the big picture and so many people forget it.

good luck. :)

Hey. I just wanted to say thanks for replying to my post. As hard as you handed it to me, that is exactly what I have to do and that really makes me respect you. You’re a lot of help, honestly. :)
-Maddy