Richard Cor de Lyon's reply history at Help.com

The recording I was talking about above is no longer available. Alison is a great speaker on this subject however, so I looked around to see if there was something more. I found one recording: http://personallifemedia.com/podcasts….

I’ve not listened to it yet, but I’m willing to bet it’s pretty good.

[quote Anonymous][quote Richard Cor de Lyon]tell me, who is the most important person in your life right now?[/quote]

Hmm, that’s actually a really hard question. Well, there’s not really a whole lot of people in my life right now, and nothings really happening other than this, so probably this girl?[/quote]

Then you need to spend more time with yourself. One reason your relationships don’t go anywhere is because you are trying to mold yourself into someone your partner wants… you’re not being yourself. The most important person in your life, should be YOU.

tell me, who is the most important person in your life right now?

Joy, I’m so sorry to hear of this ordeal and the way it turned out, it’s just not fair or right. What’s really sad, is having gotten away with it, he’s probably going to do it again. I’m willing to bet your aunt suffers from PTSD, and this lose has been a trigger for her catapulting her into depression (just my guess). Keep trying Joy… let her know you love her and as Cody suggests that you believe her… Let her know that you are there for her anytime.

how old are you?

[quote linuxya]…
Treasure what he does contribute and I guarantee you he will contribute more.[/quote]

Wow… so very well said!

It is love and acceptance that allows forgiveness. Without love it is much more difficult. With jealousy… with judgment … with frustration and anger, forgiveness will be harder to obtain. Love will bring forgiveness.

[quote okei!][quote Richard Cor de Lyon]Does he ask you out? Does he call you? If he does… he likes you. How about you make him a very romantic dinner… set up a really nice evening, if he’s a homebody… movies on the couch (not a chick flick - unless you know he’s ok with them)… than maneuver the conversation to what makes you feel special. If you don’t tell him what makes you feel special he will not know and he will not do it.[/quote]

answers to both, no! cause he has a gf! but he text me =) heheh. pitiful. so maybe he doesn’t like me. hahah! thanks anyway, i can handle the truth though

time to move on, at least no what-ifs![/quote]

If he has another girlfriend, what are you doing barking up his tree. If you want to know how he feels, tell him to call you when he drops the other girl (unless you want an open relationship where you all can date and be with whoever you want to be with). If you are sexually active, guys can be dawgs when it comes to this. Some will keep a woman on the leash as long as possible for good sex; remember feelings don’t always come into play with guys (other than; OMG THAT felt good!)

[quote okei!]anyway, i think i am also partly to blame, how can he be serious w/ me, when i myself is not serious and is confused about him. so there. thanks guys. take care all.[/quote]

That is true enough. Committed relationships are a two-way street.

[quote okei!][quote Richard Cor de Lyon]The best way for a woman to give signs and hints to a man, is to write them down on a brick and hit him in the face with it. THEN he’ll see signs and hints. MEN do NOT get subtleties… in fact they SCARE him. He will run from too many thing he does not understand.

I’m sorry I have to run now… love this post. I’ll revisit it this afternoon :)[/quote]

haha! thanks richard. u sure know what ur talking about! please do revisit, and give me solutions to my my so shallow problem![/quote]

It’s not a shallow problem. It’s a problem that is pretty much global. But my general advise to you is to tell him what you want (once you know), and you’ll have your answer pretty quick I’d wager. And if you don’t have your answer quickly then he’s not emotionally ready, and why would you want someone like that?

The best way for a woman to give signs and hints to a man, is to write them down on a brick and hit him in the face with it. THEN he’ll see signs and hints. MEN do NOT get subtleties… in fact they SCARE him. He will run from too many thing he does not understand.

I’m sorry I have to run now… love this post. I’ll revisit it this afternoon :)

Does he ask you out? Does he call you? If he does… he likes you. How about you make him a very romantic dinner… set up a really nice evening, if he’s a homebody… movies on the couch (not a chick flick - unless you know he’s ok with them)… than maneuver the conversation to what makes you feel special. If you don’t tell him what makes you feel special he will not know and he will not do it.

Men are fixers. Hardwired to be the hunters. Men are single minded. Ask a man to multitask and sit back and watch the confusion (women multitask soooo much better than men, because they think in circles, men think in a straight line). But the blessing here is if you get a guys attention, the devotion to that line of thought, to that task is pretty clear an complete.

I listened to a talk the other day, and in the speaker said that the Dictionary is a man’s book. If you want to know something ask. Women think in circles, men think in a straight line. When a woman asks, “do these pants make me look fat?” That question is DEATH to a man. If a woman asks, “… are you bored with talking to me for so many hours?” he might be wondering if there is another shoe about to fall… maybe if you didn’t call him a disconnected bored guy he might not be inclined to step away. Better to be silent than to be called out on being disconnected.

Courty is right… with one exception. Young men really don’t know much about feelings, so they might not be able to express themselves in any coherent fashion. Young men tend to play games with this one. Most men have issues in expressing feeling. So if a woman asks a man “how do you feel about…”, well… you’ve already made a man think to much.

men are FAR from confusing. Are you a woman? If so that may explain some. Men are very very simple. It’s just that we are so different then women it appears confusing. How do you know if he’s into you? Depending on his age, you simply ask him. Also, if you are coming onto him that might not be the best way to find out. Because when you are in hunt mode, your brain is actually releasing testosterone… a quick way to emasculate a man. Be a woman; Nurture. When women nurture they tend to inadvertently stroke a man’s ego - you make him happy in this way, he’ll let you KNOW how he feels. There is more truth than you realize in the old saying; “The quickest way to a man’s heart is through his stomach”… that’s because feeding a man is a form of nurturing.

When replies come in, several at time it is easy to over look some replies. I find that very few people here reply to those that have added to their post. Some posters don’t reply at all to the various opinions and advise from others leaving the helpers with a sort of WTF feeling. If I offended you CS101 by missing your reply in my post I apologize, it was a simple oversight - two replies were missed that day.