Richard Cor de Lyon's reply history at Help.com

I listened to a talk the other day, and in the speaker said that the Dictionary is a man’s book. If you want to know something ask. Women think in circles, men think in a straight line. When a woman asks, “do these pants make me look fat?” That question is DEATH to a man. If a woman asks, “… are you bored with talking to me for so many hours?” he might be wondering if there is another shoe about to fall… maybe if you didn’t call him a disconnected bored guy he might not be inclined to step away. Better to be silent than to be called out on being disconnected.

Courty is right… with one exception. Young men really don’t know much about feelings, so they might not be able to express themselves in any coherent fashion. Young men tend to play games with this one. Most men have issues in expressing feeling. So if a woman asks a man “how do you feel about…”, well… you’ve already made a man think to much.

men are FAR from confusing. Are you a woman? If so that may explain some. Men are very very simple. It’s just that we are so different then women it appears confusing. How do you know if he’s into you? Depending on his age, you simply ask him. Also, if you are coming onto him that might not be the best way to find out. Because when you are in hunt mode, your brain is actually releasing testosterone… a quick way to emasculate a man. Be a woman; Nurture. When women nurture they tend to inadvertently stroke a man’s ego - you make him happy in this way, he’ll let you KNOW how he feels. There is more truth than you realize in the old saying; “The quickest way to a man’s heart is through his stomach”… that’s because feeding a man is a form of nurturing.

When replies come in, several at time it is easy to over look some replies. I find that very few people here reply to those that have added to their post. Some posters don’t reply at all to the various opinions and advise from others leaving the helpers with a sort of WTF feeling. If I offended you CS101 by missing your reply in my post I apologize, it was a simple oversight - two replies were missed that day.

[quote Commonsense101]Good morning Richard! Good to hear from you. One of the crew from the old days here. Good luck with your writing.

Don’t come here much anymore.

Qzzzz[/quote]

[quote mumstheword]Fabulous! Thanks for that Richard. x[/quote]

Ahhhh Qzzz and mums… looks like I overlooked your replies. Thanks for your input to this post. Just wanted folks to have a resource to refer ppl to :) I certainly don’t come here too much either Q (not like in the ol’ days).

I just wanted to add. I’m sorry if my reply sound condescending; it was not really my intent. I happen to be able to see the beauty in many Hindu beliefs. India has had a very strong spiritual background for eons, one they should be proud of. There is a great deal Hinduism has give the West, and we should be (as I am) grateful.

But the Hindu gods and goddesses are brought to form from the formless in the same way men, and dogs are. In that sense they are not as the monotheistic God, being supreme beings and the creator of everything, and this is why many theologists consider Hinduism a form of atheism. In theism God is the supreme being the Almighty creator of everything. Atheism is a belief against such ideas.

Thanks much Dr. Ralph. I realize the game starts, and I’ve been around 50 years myself. But if you can listen to it later, I guarantee you’ll learn something or at least hear a fresh perspective that you’ll relate to. And it is refreshing to hear it in context of men AND women and our differences instead of someone beating up on how a guy thinks.

lol apparently you don’t

Some brothers can be way over protective of their little sisters. This is not an expression of love, it is an expression of ego, mistaken for love. You have to talk to your older brother and tell him you really REALLY admire and appreciate his protective behavior, and that you really like the idea that you can come to him and he will protect you, because sometimes you may need that… BUT … you are getting older and just like he made mistakes to grow, so must you make some mistakes too. Let him know that you hear his advise… tell him how you feel about this guy… (your brother will just shake his head in disbelief)… then you have to ask your brother to let you make your own mistakes so that you can mature like he has.

Now, you don’t have to believe a word you say to your brother (although it helps). Like I said, your brother is coming from a place of ego. If you do not appease that ego, you will not get very far.

[quote babacup]I was going to tell you to check out http://help.com/post/313735-put-on-th… and tp://www.putonthebrakes.com/home.html

It is about telling kids to drive safely. It is a foundation started by Doug Herbert a NHRA driver. His 2 sons died in a car accident. His one son was driving too fast and the accident was his sons fault. He has started B.R.A.K.E.S to help get kids learning about driving safe. To make them think about it. It could be a good article to get the parents aware and they can educate their young drivers on how that one moment in their lives, that moment when they feel like they want to speed down the road, that one moment, can be there last. OR if they slow down, it can mean they will have future.

Just an idea that came to mind since you are dealing with teens.[/quote]

Thanks Babacup - I wrote an article on driving, http://www.examiner.com/examiner/x-12… but I’ll certainly check out and follow up on those links THANKS :)

[quote Silverwings]Congratulations… Richard !!!! Now, we know where you have been… :)

I looked for an RSS feed, I was going to add the link to my site… but, I didn’t see one.

I’m proud for you….and I bet you love what you do :)[/quote]

Thanks Silverwings… I’m not sure there is an RSS feed… just subscriptions. But I’ll check it out. I do love writing for sure, and getting paid for it is a nice side order too :)

You could apologize to him for hurting him… that apology by the way does NOT imply that you did anything wrong, you didn’t. You are not in a committed relationship with this guy… if you were, you would have known it… the two of you would have talked about it. People in committed relationships talk about their relationship, they don’t just assume things.

But I want you to think about something and I apologize up front if this offends you. Perhaps he was not hurt because you were making out with someone… but rather he was hurt that you ALLOWED a drunken, drugged up looser to be slobbering all over you, and feeling you up in public. Perhaps he thought you were a better woman than that… maybe that is why he was hurt.

You have to talk with him to heal anything.

Does your boyfriend make you happy?

joanne.d… did you say your boyfriend forces you to have sex with him after taking ecstasy? If your boyfriend is forcing you to do anything he is NOT good for you, and you should leave that relationship right away. Forced sex is rape and you could press charges. Forcing you to take drugs is abuse and probably punishable by the law too. Forcing you to do anything is abuse that you should not have to endure. What should you do? If he is forcing you to do things… you should leave him; NOW

Apparently, you don’t love enough if you have trust issues. People that truly love another will trust them, that’s the way love works. Now the trust issue may not necessarily be with him, and I’m betting it’s not. The trust issue is with yourself, and has to do with your ability to love yourself - your own self esteem and self confidence. As you know trust and communication is critical in any working relationship (key word being working). Never poo poo the little things. You can talk about them and acknowledge how small a thing it is, but little things not spoken about become these huge monsters waiting to attack the other person. If we don’t talk about things our own insecurities start taking over and start turning shadows into ghouls.