Richard Cor de Lyon's reply history at Help.com

Thank you Liz… love you too… the only traveling I have planned is to the computer to work on my 10 pg paper on Rasism.
Bright blessings ~R
ohhh… you be good too :)

Yeah.. I know. but after you forgive yourself… you can also change your perspective to, “I’m helping this guy learn a lesson that will serve him better for the rest of his LIFE!” You are not hurting him… you are HELPING him!
Bright blessings ~ Rich

Rimmy080/Maria1986

I’m sorry my previous post was so short; I was in a hurry, and rimmy080 It’s pretty obvious you have not bought my book, otherwise your post regarding the book wouldn’t have been such total and complete stupidity. In my book.. I discuss many things and while NO book will make you happy, it can ‘lead the horse to water’. It’s up to the horse to drink! I write about change… and our responsibility to take actions for ourselves… I write about perspective and understanding how we place limitations. I speak to how we attract things and people into our lives. How we can so easily allow ourself to become a victim in todays society… I talk about joy and love… how critical it is to share this if you want to be happy. I talk about getting out and exercising so that you release those very vital happy hormones called endorphines, and many other things.

No offense Rim…but not all people have the great self control and discipline that you clearly have. Some people need a little help getting back on the right path. That is all this little book does… help people get back on a path that will ultimate help them find their own bliss.
Bright blessings ~ Rich

Anon… bless you. I know what you mean regarding being too nice for your own good. I’m a codependent too :))

You can do nothing to make him happy. Even if you get back with him YOU are not making him happy… that is HIS CHOICE to have you back… and having his choice fulfilled IS MAKING him happy. No one can make another person happy. All we can do is fulfill their choices. If it was his choice for you to jump off a cliff to make him happy… would you do it? Of course that is an exaggerated statement, but I hope you see my point. If you can not make him happy, you certainly cannot ease his pain. These are HIS choices. I know how you feel. It’s kinda like the Seinfeld episode when George is trying to break up the the girl and she says, “No, your not. We’re not breaking up”. George, who we all know is spinless… is totally at a loss!!! Nothing he does or says will make this woman move on… I wish I remember how it ended but I don’t… I just remember that very humorous scene in the diner…”No, I’m not breaking up with you!”… like ya have a choice in the matter if one of two calls it quits! lol.
Anon… forgive yourself. That’s what YOU need to do…and move on.
Bright blessings ~ Rich

WOW… GREAT convo with the hubby! I love it… good for you! And RIGHT you are too. I relate to what you are saying. Here in California the parents… our current generation of parents… do seem to be ‘forced’ to be more involved then my parents ever where. But in honesty can WE really make that comparison? I think part of it is because more and more has been piled on our schools and teachers, in the form of raising our children - with the breakdown of family, with Corporate America cutting into family time so much … and the list goes on, parents are skipping PTA meetings… the are skipping open houses… they are skipping Christmas concerts. So much pulls us away, and justifies our letting the shcools do it. Well.. the schools are starting to push back. After all it’s not their responsibility. The only problem is they have to do it across the board, so those parents that ARE responsible, get a double dose, and it doesn’t feel good.
Bright blessings ~ Rich

yes… it is painful… and there is little or nothing you can do. YOU need this lesson too. Accept the pain…knowing there is no joy without pain… and no pain without joy. I’m sure you had both in your relationship. Your pain is the measurement of your joy… it will be no worse than the joy you had in the relationship, or the joy you WILL have soon. I don’t know the hope of you two getting back together, but sometimes… this sort of learning/growing experience is needed to move forward. Responsibility has to be accepted… both you and he have to understand what each of you did to put you where you are today. Live and Learn… live and love.
http://www.lulu.com/content/862745
Bright blessings ~ Rich

As Mr. Church said many years ago, “Yes, Virginia - there is a Santa Claus”. That famous editorial was not designed to convince people that there was this fat guy that came down your chimney every year… it was written to give people hope in the things they believe in. Trust me, you think you have problems? Your problems are NOTHING. Somewhere in this world… there is someone that you would NEVER want to trade places with… and taking your life is a huge insult to them, as they struggle with their life. As Oster said (a very good point) you are making changes… you recognize this… and that is GREAT! That alone should be giving you the hope you need to survive. I do recommend my book. It’s not so exspensive, and it’s the beginning to a new life if you are willing to continue to make changes.
http://www.lulu.com/content/862745
Bright blessings ~R

Get my book ~ http://www.lulu.com/content/862745

It will change your life.
~Rich

You are who you are. If you want to jump through hoops to make someone happy you can do that, but believe me… your efforts will be for nothing in the long run. I say that because ultimately you can not make ANYONE happy, just as no one else can really make YOU happy. You choose what makes you happy. Be yourself. Break ups are a form of loss…. and the stages of grief apply here as well as in any close death. He must go through this, and for the most part by himself. There is a lesson for him here, and he must experience it… and learn from it.
Bright blessings ~ Rich

There ya go…despite my own problems… I still believe in tough love sometimes. I’m proud of ya… stick with the positive changes.
Bright blessings ~ Rich

Might be a solid blockage too… vasiline up, and dig deep.

I know how you feel Naina… I’ve been through it THREE times! Know that this is the last the parents have to do. Confirmation and marriage is all the the candidate (unless your a confirmation sponser… then you’re on the hook again). I went to so many of these things I could have taught them. I have some advise for getting through it, but it sounds like you’re done. I’m proud of you. My girls are going through it all for the exact reasons you mentioned. It was like pulling teeth to get my ex to go to the meetings… she was happy enough to bring presents to church and watch all the ceremony and party afterward though. So it is done… and your daughter is better for it. Hubby was a putz… but how many of us guys aren’t every now and again? I’m sure you are going to cut him some slack… especially when you tell him that since you went to all the 1st communion meetings… HE has to go to the PTA meetings for 3 months!
Bright blessings ~Rich

I promise to always be myself with you… no games
I promise to trust you and trust in your love for me.
I promise to always come to you with my feelings about our life together, because I know that only through good communication we can be happy.

And here’s one… every man longs to hear;
I promise not to nag you. (and then really don’t nag!)

I’m sorry…perhaps I’m too old… but I don’t know what the hell you are talking about.

Also… never forget, that changing your mind is EASIER than changing your clothes! Once you change your mind (and stick to it) you change your life as you knew it. It takes 28 days to form new Neuron pathways in your brain, createing a new habit. If you stick to any change of mind long enough… it becomes REAL (an actual physical map in your brain).
Bright blessings ~ Rich