Richard Cor de Lyon's reply history at Help.com

K ~ is this the same guy you’ve been having troubles with for weeks now? So let me get this straight… he’ll let YOU go out with HIM… IF
1) YOU clean up your act, get your mind and feelings in order.
2) YOU need to trust him (although you think he’s cheeting on you).
3) YOU believe ONLY what HE tells you.
Sounds to me like HE doesn’t have to do anything in this relationship but CONTROL YOU, and he is perfect. How did you get so screwed up K? I’ll tell you…. YOU ARE NOT! And the Goblin King said, “I ask for so little, just fear me, love me, do as I say and I will be your slave”.

How about finding a man that says I’LL go out with you if
1) you promise to be yourself. I don’t want to play any games.
2) I know it’s hard to trust people sometimes, but please know that I’ll always talk with you and tell you the truth.
3) You might hear things about me… let me start by telling you everything about me … now if you hear anything more just come and ask, as always I’ll tell you the truth.

And don’t even try to tell me that guy doesn’t exist. I’m a guy… I wrote the words… believe me I and millions like me exist.

Bright blessings ~ Rich

Some excellent posts here from Finley and Lifesadance. I’ve been a co-dependent for a good portion of my adult life… for sure during the 13 years of my now failed marriage. Guess what?… you’re a co-dependent too (takes one to know one). You can justify his behavior or minimize it because of your love for him… or because he is soooo terrific when he’s not mad…. but guess what? It’s not making him any better is it. As others have said he won’t get better until he recognizes it in himself, and you can not begin to change him. Now… you leaving him might… just MIGHT shake him into realization. That too is what I recommend. 7 years of this crap is way too much for any woman to have to take from any man. And as Finley so expertly said… what is down the road for this relationship? Marriage? Children? Beatings? Bruises and broken bones? I’m sorry dear, I can not abid men that need to abuse women in order to gain control… or have ALL the control… and that is exactly what you are giving him… ALL THE CONTROL. Take back your blessed life… and rejoice and be exceedingly glad :))
Bright blessings ~R

Exactly… there are food banks… homeless shelters… soup kitchens, and even some stores will give food. You want an answer? YES IT’S WRONG TO STEAL. If your parents didn’t teach you that much I recommnend you NOT having children of your own! There is one saving grace here… If you didn’t think it was wrong, you would never have posted here out of guilt.

Is hubby/daddy around? You already said what you need… an outlet. What do you WANT to do? What’s stopping you from doing it?

14 years old.. and “lovers” do not in my opinion belong in the same paragraph about oneself. OK OK… I’m old fashioned perhaps. But this old fashioned guy will not be raising his own grandchildren! Anon… 2 or 3 years ago.. you were playing with Barbie dolls. Give the “lover” thing a rest. Focus on getting out of High School alive, and maybe even some college. You have LOTS of time for “lovers”.
2cents from and old guy ~ R

Interesting poem… dark, but powerful. Someone with so much power inside them to write such moving words, is without hope? I think not… without perspective perhaps… without some coping skills perhaps… but certainly not without power and hope. Such a keen mind can spin a life on a dime!

What about your own family? It is beyond repair? If you are anything like I was at your age… there was no conversation… any dialoge turned almost immediately into an arguement. After moving out… and having to grow up so very quickly, I gained a perspective that allowed me to have a conversation a true dialog with my parents. I’m not saying it is always this way… but I think usually, no matter how angry our parents get, they ALWAYS love you. Think about it… this is the ultimate in unconditional love. Shorty, you didn’t mention what the problem is at home (other than the obvious of being pregnant at an early age) so I don’t know what your parents are like. I just ask you because you are here, and the only one that impact the situation. Can you, Shorty, eat some crow for the well being of your baby and you. Because no matter what you do from here on out…for the REST OF YOUR LIFE… it is NOT all about you. Your own child moves into that position.
Bright blessings ~ R

There are times in every ones life that we get off our path, as Heather so well put. Nothing is lost, it’s just that you are on a different path now that looks scary and unfamiliar to you. Getting back on the right path is not as difficult as you think. You should be amazed at the power of the mind. Put it together with the power of the body and spirit… and you become a GOD (or Goddess :) I was where you are at a couple years back. But there are things that we all know about that can help us turn our life around. It is possible to wake up every day know that the day will be good, and tomorrow will be even better! I wrote about all these things in my book… http://www.lulu.com/content/862745… maybe it can help you too.
Bright blessings R

Kinda Gothic… aren’t you kinda bored?? As long as the repeated meals are healthy… of course there is nothing wrong with it.
Bright blessing ~ R

lol… jet; varying opinions is what gives the world color… nothing wrong with that. My aunt married at 16… when her daughter married at 16 (my cousin) eyebrows raised. When HER daughter married at 16 (my 2nd cousin) there was an uproar. This is an example of the generational shift I was talking about. And Anon’s reply to my last post is a clear example of how “love is blind”, and deaf too. but again… sorry.. just my opinion… any many old enough to be a free man in this good ol’ country… old enough to drink, vote… go to war… maybe even living on his own… all of it, and he wants to date a high school GIRL that only 3 or 4 years ago got her period… well that man has some pretty definite issues! ~ R

First… over the decades there has been a distinct shift in the generations. What was done in the 50’s to the 70’s, by 20 year olds is now not happening until the people get into their 30’s. There is a whold decade of life that has been put off. In the 40’s, the men came home from the war in their 20’s… the military helped them to get their first house… they married their high school sweetheart and started pumping out rugrats. (otherwise known as babyboomers). I dare say… do you know many 20 year olds in that situation? Married, kids and a mortgage? Nope … me either… that has all been put off this they are 30. So to hold your parents and grandparents up as an example is way out of line. Sure we have all fell in love, but did that automatically make it a smart relationship choice? I’ve fallen in love with teachers… did I persue such a thing? NO… and most people don’t. So again while love is critical in a relationship… IT IS NOT EVERYTHING! But one thing hasn’t changed over the generations. Young people in love JUST DO NOT LISTEN TO THE VOICE OF EXPERIENCE. And that’s really ok too. Go have your 15/22 (is that guy sick or what? He can buy booze and drink in a bar… and you can’t even drive, yet alone vote.) relationship… I’ll be here online when you come back crying that it didn’t work out and you don’t know how to live without him, or to heal your broken heart.
Bright blessings ~R

A rose by any other name would smell as sweet :))

Bright blessings Shawna xoxo

1 I really don’t know anything about Baltimore Harbor history. 2 If I truly needed to find something out about this history, I would take a look at my current skills. 3 I know I have computer skills so I could google Baltimore harbor history. 4 I know of this cool website where people will sometimes help with homework or just give me the answers I need. 5 I also know where the local library is located. 6 Now I just need to know how will I LEARN what I need to know? by researching the answers for myself, or by having someone vomit the answers down my throat like a momma bird feeding it’s young.

that is such a touchy question. Even at 20… if the partner is 27, so much life can happen to change you in 7 years. As you change due to life, so does the quality of the relationship (generally for the worse, but not always). If your a woman… and the guy is 7 years older that’s OK (as you get older) but even a 20/27 match… you have to ask yourself, why is he looking at so young? Usually that’s a maturity issue on his part. That doesn’t mean that’s a problem… just know as you mature as a woman… he’s probably gonna stay the same :( It could also be that he’s getting a woman so he can control her… that will suck forever! A 7 year age gap is not all that uncommon. But I’d wait for such a gap at least until you are into your late 20’s.
Bright blessings ~ R

I would agree Evan… when you run, you loose the rights to be with your children except to be able to visit them. And you hubby could fight for supervised visits at that! and you KNOW it.
I wish you luck ~ bright blessings ~ R