cathyh's profile at Help.com

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• the thing is in school i feel like im a nobody.
  

  When you get that uncomfortable feeling, it is showing you that you really don’t want to ‘label’ yourself. You are maturing well, trying out different styles and seeing what fits, rather than just accepting without question the values and styles you have been brought up with. Like trying on different overcoats, they might look nice and fit well at the moment, but then again you could grow out of some of these styles pretty fast in your search to express your own unique style.
  
  Maybe some of the guys you’re at school with aren’t as mature, hence the questions which leave you feeling a little uncomfortable. It’s a strange time, they’re just trying to work things out too. Go with your gut, find out what you enjoy, visualise where you want to go and the lifestyle you really want. Just do your best :)
  
  Be the best ‘You’ that you can be.
  
  Cathy
  - written 2 years, 5 months ago

• Another lousy day.
  

  You know Seven, most people have these gungey days from time to time. You are processing your feelings. The main information you appear to be coming up with is you do not have some important elements present in your life which you require for happiness right now. Only you can know what is missing. Maybe it is as simple as you need more money. Focus on that proactively, find ways to improve. Maybe the whole thing about being needed is what triggered off these feelings, it isn’t your lack of finances. There are so many people you can help, wheelchair associations, residents’ associations etc. Go to a hospital/nursing home and ask is there anyone who has no visitors, give something of yourself to someone in need and it will come back tenfold. You will be the one helping, it is empowering. Also don’t forget to go dancing, or do something you enjoy every day, even just for half an hour. Look at beauty in nature, a book or an art gallery. Find a higher power, tap into good and life, rather than focusing on death.
  
  Take small steps, keep your focus on where your gut instinct tells you is important. Day in day out, feeling gungey or not concentrate on bringing ‘More’ into your life, which will renew you. More of what you want, more of what you enjoy, more people. Eat well, drink water and remember excercise encourages ‘happy’ hormones. I wish you so well in this new chapter of your life. C
  - written 2 years, 6 months ago

• Habits and how to stop them esp if they are nasty habits!
  

  If you put an elastic band round your wrist (not toooo tightly now) and snap it every time you catch yourself doing it, that’s *supposed* to work. Or say ‘no’ in your mind, imagining a traffic Stop sign. Reward yourself for a couple of hours of self control with a treat, like a walk or reading a magasine. …Just a few tips I found helped me stop…..Nailbiting, Ugh, disgusting I know.
  - written 2 years, 6 months ago

• What could i do to help spice up a relationship?
  

  Be slightly unavailable. (Other women, please forgive my divulging important information on the female mind). Make sure to end the evening while you are still having fun. Keep your dates a little shorter than she anticipates, leave her longing for your company, don’t always try to spend the night. Start to play golf!!! You will have so little time she will be dying to be slotted in. (Joke) Have Blockout times like, say, Wednesday evenings you meet your old pal ‘Joe’, you simply cannot meet her as this is an ongoing commitment. Then very occasionally see her on a Wednesday night as a treat (reminding her you’d rather be with her than with Joe - but just Tonight.) Be truthful about what you do, never lie, that is the biggest turnoff. Don’t always look for sex, be happy to stroke her hair or go for a walk. The funny thing is, security is more appealing than the constant chase, the more secure she feels with you the better, you have a much better chance of her coming to you then. Knowing a guy is there for you even though he has a million other things to do, is better than a guy chasing you around like a lapdog who has nothing else to do, and no other friends. The flowers and chocolates? Leave those for special occasions, or if you feel she has really pushed the boat out for you. If she doesn’t love you for yourself, don’t cheat both of you by trying to be somebody else, it’ll all come out in the end anyway.
  - written 2 years, 6 months ago

• roller coaster relationship, when is enough, enough?
  

  There isn’t much detail here?
  
  Just a list: Enough is Enough when:
  He hits you or your child
  He argues in front of your child
  He speaks down to you, or shouts you down
  He demeans you, or publicly brings up things to embarrass you
  He uses passive agressive means and behaviours
  You do not feel respected
  You are not in love, or at least feeling you love him
  You would rather spend time with your friends/family than with him
  He would rather spend time with his friends/family than with you
  He displays disinterest in your child
  He won’t commit to family activities
  Either of you is having an affair ****************
  
  This is a non-exhaustive list, some points are very bad, some are horrific. Please don’t endure anything that reduces your dignity or belief in yourself. Get out immediately if you or your child are in danger.
  - written 2 years, 6 months ago

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