Jade's shout trail with Richard Cor de Lyon - Help.com

it’s just not the same here without you dear friend…. :(

I know ;)

haha…watch out that’s when true love really catches you by surprise!!!!

LOL!!!

“… Funny, once you know what you want, it just seems that much harder to find it…picky picky picky..but all with good reason. … ” Aint it the truth! But for now, I’m not really looking. I mean I’m keeping my eyes open for opportunities like always :) but with no real intention.

Ah, you are one of the good ones, and you will be snatch up quickly, don’t you worry.

As for my relationship, Tom and I have been taking it slow…he meets the kids next month so that will be a big hurdle but so far I think it will go well. He doesn’t have kids but has been in relationships with women with teenagers (hell if he can handle that then he can handle a 3 year old right??? LOL)

I hear you about not trying to fix something that both parties aren’t willing to admit needs fixing or the desire does not exist to pick up the tools!

I figure I am old enough to know what values and traits I want in a person, and spinning my wheels is just a good waste of mud! LOL

Funny, once you know what you want, it just seems that much harder to find it…picky picky picky..but all with good reason.

Brian definitely is a good man! Ahhh yes, I had forgotten that another of the ‘good ones’ were taken (they all seem taken :) That is amazing though, and I’m truly happy for you. this last relationship taught me so much. First and foremost… negativity, is not going to part of my next. The yelling that you talk about… I won’t miss it either. My ex would yell at me, “I’m not a pessimist, I’m a realist!” Screw that… not in my real world babe. lol… The biggest thing I learned is that I don’t have to stay in a relationship to fix myself, or anyone else. If it’s not working it plain is not working. Of course fixing it is always a valiant thing to do, but if it aint getting fixed (together), banging your head on the wall will not fix it either.

***high fives for Rich*** Good for you!

LOL, sorry dear…I am quite attached actually and have been for about 6 months now. He is a gentle and kind, a big change for my usual pick. Even during disagreements voices are never raised…man I don’t miss that, It just intimidates me so much, I clam up and can’t speak/think. too much of that behavior in the past has caused me to develop a self defense mechanism for just shutting down.

Someone here once said (I think Brian) do not be afraid to speak up and don’t make others afraid to speak up.

Between you and him, I can honestly say I have learned and have grown much as a person!

Muuuwha!!!!

I know I must sound like I am looking longingly at the closed door… but in reality what I’m looking for is to see another picture of her now. I know I will not be surprised by the ugliness I will see. But thank you dear for your touching words of truth. I am past this woman that I love, and I am well ready for the woman that will journey with me to the end :) What are YOU doing next weekend ;)

Perhaps my dear friend, this love will be a stepping stone to even greater love. You know as I do, that love does not exist without pain - there must be balance - and there must be both in order to fully appreciate each emotion.

As you move past this (you will always keep a part of it in your heart), remember the following:

too often we look longingly at the door which closed that we fail to see the window which opened….

@–>–

well… her loss :)

when you look at us at Christmas last year, you’d have never thought she had been lying to me all along. She was very good at deceit.

Ahhh…I am sorry to hear that she couldn’t return the passion for a lifetime.

and yes, I think I would like your hugs!!!

:)

It’s weird, I was just about to write in your shout box, when you shouted me :)

I’m glad to hear about the dreams:) Before long they will be gone. Actually, if you say to yourself before sleeping, “I’ve handled this I don’t need to dream it anymore”…. they’ll go. Bad dreams are no fun. I find myself dreaming about my ex lately. It’s screwed because they are mostly nice dreams… I did love her, but I’ve found out that she never really loved me. Not in anyway that was long term. I dunno… I suppose that is my choice though, and I’ll have to live with it. It is my choice to continue to love her, while knowing that we are not good for each other. ****hugs D with just as much passion **** I think you’d like my hugs :)

Well, you did it once again…last night the dreams were no were near as bad as I am working out the issue that I realized I have yet to deal with after my brother’s death.

****tackles Rich with hugs****

You really are incredibly wonderful and I thank you for the gift of your friendship.

I wish you all the best life has to offer you in 2009 - love, laughter, success, happiness and peace!

Love,
~D~

and I have no doubt that what you work on you will overcome :) Bright blessing my friend :) love ~ Rich

Oh dear man…I am so glad i talked to you once again. You may have given me the insight I need to get past this…guilt…but not about my dad about my brother. We had a close relationship but well, I think I know what I need to work on.

((((RICH)))) you are a true angel to me!!! Thank you my dear friend!

again, I’ll say that a therapist can only tell you what the dream means to THEM, not what it means to you. So, in the end only you can say what it means. Are you starting something new in your life now? Are you having difficulty with someone, or something? To me this dream might mean that something in my life is working out right for me, I might be thinking of stopping or changing it. To me this is a dream about guilt… but what guilt? Does it have to be related to your fathers death; no. It can be any guilt that you might be going through right now.

the dreams are from when my dad committed suicide, he was found two weeks after I told him as a 5 year old child that I didn’t want to see him any more (the coroner said he was dead for about two weeks) I KNOW as a 5 year old child I couldn’t be responsible for an adults actions, and day to day I handle it fine. The dreams are of me at various stages growing up finding him and he points fingers at me and says things like it’s all your fault, you didn’t love me, i loved you how could you do this to me…It’s crazy… every therapist I have been too says I need to understand that I am not responsible - duh, I know that. the dreams have not changed from then to now…they are the same. My oldest brother (we had different fathers)passed away in May (20 years my senior and I never talked to him about it - it was a taboo subject in my family…my father’s death that is)

I only vaguely remember that. I’m sorry to hear about that dear. They say that our dreams are our ego’s way of working things out even while we sleep. Jung has taught us though that no one can truly interpret another persons dreams. But I would venture to guess the dreams come back during the same times… times of stress, or time of feeling secure. Times when family gathers.. maybe time of the year? Can you remember and make any comparisons between last time you had the dreams and now?

Do you remember me venting on here once about suffering from nightmares from events of my past? Well, they are back worse than ever. I can’t figure out why.

sorry I missed you… you can email me any time :) richhills1 @ sbcglobal .net

Hey you still here?

I did get the email…and I read the story several times. I think after all this time that you and I have been on Help together, you probably know just how much I appreciated that story and understand that the tears it brought were simply that of the friendship and caring I have in my heart for you and all my friends/family. Life intervenes in the strangest ways…sometimes our friends say words of wisdom without ever knowing.

Merry Christmas my dear friend…;)

Thank you D :) Did you see my Christmas story? I emailed you, but I’m not sure I have the right email.

thank you dear friend…may the blessings of Christmas bring you joy and peace. I wish you all the best of life, love, and laughter, happiness and success in 2009!!!!

~D~

It only takes the light from one candle to chase darkness away. Thank you for being that light in my life.
Bright blessings and Merry Christmas ~ Richard

As have you been to me… and a great friend. I do my best… I was trying to grow a goatee these last couple of weeks… but shaved it off today… so keeping my chin up may be a bit easier now :)

Gobble gobble to you too :)
Bright blessings ~ Rich

awwww…keep you chin up and your faith strong! You were always an inspiration to me…still are!

Happy Turkey Day!

wow.. good to see you dear! I am positive… and try to remain so….that’s all I can say about how life is treating me :)

Hi my friend…hope you are well. How is life treating you these days?

Awwww…tackles Rich with hugs…I miss you sweetheart! I haven’t had time to be here much but I do think of you often! Glad to see you are still here sharing your wisdom! I hope you are well and everything is good for you.

Love,
d

You are without a doubt one of the sweetest women. Thank you. And I hope yours is twice as good as your wish for me :)

love ya ~Rich

HI…you and Ucreate just popped into my mind while sitting here at work…and so I signed on to say Hi…

Hope you are having a good day!

Take Care…

d

I know where to find you and you know where to find me….(((hugs)))

ha…it’s like 20 here today and windy. Brrrr.. went out to get sushi for lunch and I think it froze on the way back to the car!!!

Enjoy the yard work! I love doing that stuff so good for the mind and body!

You’re the best :) xoxo thank you :)

I’m off to do yard work now :) Beautiful sunny California day :-P
ciao xoxoxo

AWWWW….backs up for a running start and
tackles Rich with hugs and kisses - there any better? Hang in there dear friend!!!

well… it’s ok. I got the last of severance today and my medical runs out at the end of the month :( I was looking a independent medical coverage and it sucks $$$$$ big time. So right now the positive outlook thing is hard but I’m hanging in there :)
Luvya
~Rich

Hey you….I miss you. I hope you are well. Hugs!

Yes, dear your speaking points were very very valid. But I did not want to appear to be ganging up on anyone/anyway and wanted to keep my reply very simple and straightforward.

I would love to see users on this site have much more tolerance for each other and their beliefs or lack their of. (you already are one of the few who do…which is what makes you so special my dear friend).

well.. maybe I was too much but I didn’t think I was really asserting my belief; other than defending peoples right to say what they want… but want to know what bugs me just as much as zealot fundamentalist Christians? and trust me they DO bug me. But those that have no tolerance and would persecute them for their beliefs and censor their words for the sake of easing their own stomach. I’m not talking about you dear… your reply in the post was beautiful. I thought I was making a valid point too.

I answered the post but keep away from asserting my beliefs.

Easy tiger….hugs (((RICH)))

Tackles Rich with hugs and kisses…

Have a great day!

Booo!

Hope your day is going well. :)

LOL… OMG what a picture. I’m glad I was not the care giver of that child. Can you imagine how difficult it would have been to clean up that oily mess on a baby, who’s bath can only be luke warm?! lol

Anyway, my dad is doing OK. Tired alot I think, and fairly unmotivated, but his tumor at last report (I think I told you) was smaller so that itself is excellent news. The coaching business… lol… it’s is interesting. I’ve had one client, and many more come to me after finding out it’s what I do. So many, as on here, wanting (needing) to vent to someone. But I’ve not been paid for coaching yet. I’m confident that will come though :) As an Information Security Officer I was never approached at a party and cornered for hours talking about how someone could make their computer more secure… but I do get cornered NOW for hours talking about personal and world issues… lol “Is there a doctor in the house?!” {{{{{jade))))))

Hmmm. thought things would wind down after the holidays…WHAT was I thinking? Other than that, I am doing fine. Glad to here you are well, hows the coaching going? How’s your dad?

Thanks for the shout dear. I’m well thank you :) For someone that is not working at a 9 to fiver, I’m keeping pretty busy! How are you?

Hey you…been a while just checking in to see how my dear friend is doing and to give you a hug… ((((RICH))))

thank you much dear…. the same to you :)
huggggzzzzzzzzzzz
Richard

Hey sweetheart! Just wanted to say Good Morning and wish you a wonderful day!

(((RICH)))