smtoroazul14's reply history at Help.com

I’m sorry about your experience and related pain. at this point though, rather than focus on him, who seems to be trying to put you down and drag you down with him, i think that you might better help yourself if youfocus on yourself and why you would want to be with someone who treats you this way. what might this say about yourself? what about that is attractive to you and why? where are you going? don’t lose sight of your goals, accomplishments and worth. you seem to be on the right track. so keep on….

We can only do our best and what comes sincerely from our hearts. you seem like a creative person. maybe you can find some things around the house or go around to family and good friends and see what they might have in terms of raw materials or arts and crafts or anything you can put together that they don’t need or that they can share and make him something out of this stuff–something original that you create from your heart and these materials–even if it’s just a very unusual but interesting b’day card. he’ll understand and be happy if he is genuine about his feelings towards you. he’ll appreciate that you care enough through what ever efforts you make.

Miami, i am sorry about your pain. try not too despair and lose sight of your goal and then risk losing what you have already. if you really love and care for each other, you will be back together stronger and better prepared to live together and maintain your living situation and relationship. meanwhile, focus on those things that will help you to get closer to your goal. think of the immediate but also very seriously think of your long-term goals and needs–employment, education, training, etc. try to speak to a good reliable vocational or job counselor, that you trust and feel comfortable with. i hope you can and will support and seek support from each other and respective family members and good and positive and reliable, responsible friends, whenever possible and appropriate, to whatever extent is possible. think and be positive and strong. you will get back what you put out. best of luck to both of you!

Yes panhandling worked for me too. what sort of skills do you have? good luck! try to find some good people around there. mayber you can volunteer somewhere like in a church or community organization in return for some food, clothing, shower, place to sleep or for a ride, to get closer to where you want to be or need to be.

I read the replies to your posts and think they were very good and thoughtful. i hope you continue your education and are also able to find some sort of apprenticeship situation in your chosen field, while you continue your education. good luck!

Well, i’m sorry you had that experience, especially if it was diruptive or scary for you. i read the other replies to your post and thought most of them were appropriate, thoughtful and constructive. i hope they were of help to you. unfortunately, i don’t think that i can be any more help than this, except to say that having been clean and sober for 27 years now, i would be horrified if i were to experience what you described in your post–that you felt drunk without actually having drank anything as far as you know. good luck!

Thank you so much for your suggesting craigslist! i will look into it and let you know. i think that is a very thoughtful and useful idea. i will let you know if i can think of something helpful regarding your permanent advice thread for common problems idea. good luck to you as well!

Where i am living now is not at all condusive to my creativity and peace of mind on any level. i have been renting from a friend and living with my mother currently since i separated from my wife 5 years ago. here in my mother’s building there is too much open drug trafficking, noise, and negative and anti-social behavior for me to be at peace and comfortable. i want to develop and use my music and writing and all my creativty to help myself be a better person and to be able to connect and join with others to help others be the best that they can be; to help create–with the help of others of similar interests and concerns, a situation locally and globally that would help promote better and healthier conditions in the environment and against global warming; help establish better and more complimentary relations among races, cultures, sexes, religions, etc.; to help promote creativity, self-actualization and positive and progressive and forward thinking and behavior and togetherness and the best of health and art, etc. i have been clean and sober and free of drugs and alcohol for about 27 years now. i feel better and more positive than ever. i have worked very hard on all the issues that led me to and kept me in a life of drinking and drugging for so long. i love writing and playing and creating music–mostly singing and playing percussion. i listen to and have been influenced by all genres of music, especially that emerging from the african diaspora and the carribean and so-called third world and out of europe as well. i would like to collaborate and play with musicians from all over the world and of all genres and styles, to help promote peace and love and empowerment and benevolence and creativity and spirituality and health and progress and humanity and anything that promotes growth and altruism rather than promoting death, destruction, fear, domination and anything that is negative, destructive, oppressive and hindering. i want to help others of all ages and backgrounds, through my music and art and writing, especially those who’ve suffered similar experiences and who’ve struggled with similar issues in their respective life e.g. alcohol and substance abuse, low self-esteem, lack of motivation, identity, sexual, emotional, mental, and physical abuse, self-destruction, etc. i would like very much to be a model and a doer to be the best that i can be so that i can in turn help others to help themselves and to be the best that they can be, so that they in turn can help others do the same…..this is my prayer, my dream, my wish, my goal. s.g.