Crotchy's profile at Help.com

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Last 7 Posts Authored

• Ok… I need some advise… Any insight would greatly help! posted (10 months, 3 weeks) ago
  Ok, now here is the issue that I have. I am a contractor for the Fed Gvt here in Canada, in IT an…

• Post from my blog, and I thought I would share with my friends posted (11 months, 3 weeks) ago
  I’ve been doing a lot of thinking recently. Thinking about my life, my future, my career; where I…

• I’m sick. posted (12 months) ago
  I got a cold. And I’m stuck at work. I just needed to vent!…

• Advice to a friend about breakup posted (1 year) ago
  Hey guys, I was going through an old email that I sent to one of my friends who’s going throu…

• How many of you find it easy to dissassociate yourself from your feelings when you are in certain circomstances? posted (1 year, 3 months) ago
  Do you believe that dissassociation is a form of not confronting your own problems? A way of runni…

• Ever notice that you always seem to have the answers for someone else’s problem and never your own? posted (1 year, 3 months) ago
  …

• OK. posted (1 year, 3 months) ago
  I needed to re-write this. Alright. If some of you have read my previous post, you know what IR…

• All Claimed Posts »

Crotchy's Top (5) Replies by other users' votes

• (1 vote) i just want to ask if it is possible to love or start getting attached to the person whom you are chatting in the internet?
  

  Love is possible at any moment.
  
  - written 11 months, 3 weeks ago – voted for by Pusa

• (1 vote) i need help analyzing my situation.
  

  Peechneet
  I can really sympathize with you. Honestly I can.
  When my ex broke up with me, I was in the same state as you. I barely ate for 2 months. I had to force myself to eat one meal a day, every day for 2 months. But it was really un-healthy. I was drinking about 10-15 cups of coffee a day, smoking about 1.5 packs of cigarettes, sleeping 4 hours.
  I would go to work, sit at my desk, and do nothing! my boss, my co-workers would come and ask me a question and I would just stare at them till they left. It became unbearable to them, and it was affecting everyone that I knew.
  My sisters tried to reach out to me, my parents, my co-workers and friends, but nothing helped.
  So, what did I do during all those times that I spent awake? I would think, analyze, re-enact, go through all my conversations with her. I would write down how I felt, what pain I went through.
  I didn’t care about anything at all. The only thoughts that were going through my mind, even though I never admitted it to anyone, was her.
  
  But in reality, I was only hurting myself. Why? Because in my mind, I had convinced myself that she was going to come back to me, after realizing the mistake that she had made. I had been so set that I had reprogrammed myself to believe that my “hope” was a reality and all my thoughts were going into that. By doing so, I was also loosing grip with reality, with the world around me, and with the things that mattered more: Myself.
  
  It’s been 4 months. Not that long, but I am in a better state than I was back 2 months ago. I am more happy with myself. I eat healthy again, but I also run and work. I push myself out there every weekend, meeting new people. Hell! I even moved 4500KM from where I used to live to have a “fresh” start! (In hindsight, the move was not necessary. It was extreme).
  I won’t lie to you though. Do I still have feelings for my ex? Of course! Do I still love her? Yes! But, I’ve come to accept that it wasn’t meant to be. And even if it is meant to be in the future, I cannot hold on to that thought right now, because it will lead me down that black hole again. I barely got out of it alive the first time, I’m not ready to go through that path again. I won’t let myself go down that path again. I live in the moment, in the now and, my main priority is ME right now.
  
  PS: Register for this site dude so that we can keep on talking ;)
  
  - written 1 year ago – voted for by pneet

• (1 vote) i like girls they’re cute….dont tell my boyfriend!
  

  Ok.. the guy in me has to say this…
  Makes me wish I was a cute girl ;) lol
  
  - written 1 year, 2 months ago – voted for by pauleebray

• (1 vote) I dont know if these feelings are wrong, or if I should just let myself go ahead and have fun… Its just so soon.
  

  Alright,
  Sarah, I’m going to be brutally honest with you, because I know that I can and I know that you will take into consideration what I have to say. Oh, and the post was too long for my liking…
  
  Sooo….
  
  
  Here…
  
  It…
  
  Is….
  
  
  Ok, I’m just teasing you Sarah. :D
  
  
  There is nothing wrong in having feelings for another guy, even though you just got out of a relationship. There is definitely nothing wrong with also being guarded and being unsure of what you are supposed to do.
  From our conversations, you’ve come to see your ex in a new light, and a less bright one at that. Especially after the way he’s been treating you lately. But you clearly still have some feelings for him, and no matter what, those feelings will stay with you. Like I told you, they usually tend to become less and less intense.
  
  It’s also normal to feel like you should be careful around the Bobby, ( Rich, that’s how they call cops in UK ;).. or is that just Scotland Yard only).
  This is due to 2 main things, from what I understand:
  1. You don’t want to have another “rebound” relationship that ends disastrously, because of your previous experience with your ex.
  2. You just don’t want to be hurt the way your ex hurt you, and have to deal with the same aftermath as with your ex.
  
  But, the thing that we all know about love, but rarely apply it to ourselves, is that love will find you, not you will find love. You are in control of this situation. Don’t forget that.
  
  I say, enjoy his company and see where things lead. If you feel that things are going too fast, then tell him, let him know to slow down. If he asks why, and you aren’t willing to tell him, just ask him to trust you. If you are comfortable in telling him, tell him the truth. Tell him that you don’t want to be hurt in this relationship, but that you also don’t want to hurt him. If he’s all that you described him to be, he will understand and respect your wishes and take things slow instead.
  ( Plus, if you ever feel like getting even with your ex, you now have someone to do it for you without it getting back to you ;) hehehe)
  
  Good luck Sarah.
  I wish you the best
  
  Nic
  
  - written 1 year, 2 months ago – voted for by SARAH!

• (1 vote) How do i put my favorites in alphabetical order.
  

  Go to favorites, then right click on a favorite, and select sort by name
  
  - written 1 year, 3 months ago – voted for by Erik

Last 5 Replies – All 681 replies »

• I am Dating…
  

  To be honest, the difference of age is a factor for this question.. me being 10 years older than you.
  It is hard for me to relate to that question for several reasons, most which I shall not explain here.
  
  However, I remember that feeling when I was your age. It has happened to be…
  Don’t question it. Live with it and be happy with it. IF your ex and the current one are mint girls, as you put it, then enjoy their company…make out… cuddle, watch movies ( and no SEX till you are 20! Got that me boy :D lol )
  
  Anyways… just enjoy their presence in your life and let them enrich you in more ways then one and let yourself teach them as well :)
  
  Cheers dude
  - written 10 months, 1 week ago

• Help DOT com - Look at my appreciation post
  

  there is one every second day
  - written 10 months, 1 week ago

• I am Dating…
  

  could you be more kriptic?
  - written 10 months, 1 week ago

• Describe in 3 words the BF/GF you dream about.
  

  Redhead - Big Boobs - nice body…..
  
  ok…
  in all honesty:
  
  Charismatic - intelligent - sensual
  - written 10 months, 1 week ago

• Did i do the right thing?
  

  No offense, but do you think you could have done something?
  Yes, I understand, staying around and putting up a good fight to have war stories to talk about with your friends after is all nice and great, however, if you couldn’t have done something to help, you may have been more hurt for intervening.
  
  Sorry dude.
  - written 10 months, 1 week ago

Crotchy's conversations are tagged:

Love, life, girl, friends, Find, Thought, question, happiness, heart, Mind, school, Situationist, Head, Year, Ideas, game, girlfriend, work, Boy, talk, Internet, advice, Mental confusion, dating, Beauty