abyss2hope's profile at Help.com

User Involvement

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• Is this rape?
  

  What you went through was definitely rape and the wrongdoing began from the moment your friend’s brother woke you up. He manipulated you and the situation to get what he and his friends wanted. From the threats he made to you afterwards, he knew you were raped and he was willing to commit another crime to protect himself and his friends from criminal prosecution.
  
  From the details of your story, you handled the situation in the best way you knew how. As someone who was raped by a boyfriend, I know how difficult it can be to tell and how it feels safer to pretend nothing happened.
  
  My heart goes out to you and I hope you can let go of any feeling of responsibility for actions you didn’t take.
  - written 3 years, 2 months ago

• i cheated on my boyfriend with three different guys..
  

  The cheating seems to be a symptom of a deeper problem. Why do you need to have men keep your ego up? I don’t mean a generic why, like lack of self-esteem, you need to find the messages that this ego propping counters.
  
  I can relate to that need. After repeated verbal abuse that included insults about my attractiveness and worthiness, from a man who said he loved me, I reacted by being much more needy and open to people who told me what I needed to hear.
  
  Also my boundaries had been trampled so often that I didn’t have the skills I needed to stop people from ignoring those boundaries.
  
  Since you care for your boyfriend, you need to take action to prevent a repeat of past mistakes if you are going to have any chance of getting over what’s already happened.
  
  You can move forward.
  - written 3 years, 2 months ago

• I dated this kid Justin for one year and a half and
  

  His blaming you after the fact is just a continuation of the abusive way he treated you when you were dating. His attitude has nothing to do with you or what you did or said so there’s nothing you can do to improve what relationship remains.
  
  Unless and until he lets go of his view of your relationship and treats you only with respect, any contact with him is a no-win situation for you.
  
  To keep you available as an emotional outlet, he may be sweet to you at times. Don’t buy that false niceness.
  - written 3 years, 2 months ago

• This may sound crazy… but sometimes, you may feel extremely lonely and lost but you might be surrounded by an ocean of family and friends.
  

  Are you getting enough sleep? Fatigue can mimic depression. With an ocean of family and friends you may not have enough down time.
  - written 3 years, 3 months ago

• Well see, there’s this girl.
  

  If you’ve gone out only twice, and know she’s the “one”, trying to get her to see you as the “one” is as likely to push her away as it is to draw her closer.
  
  If you scare her with your interest, you will likely lose the relationship. To keep from scaring her you need to respect any boundaries she has toward you or toward dating.
  - written 3 years, 3 months ago

abyss2hope's conversations are tagged:

Relationships, boyfriend, Love, depression, hes, heart, Family, Self Improvement, rape survivor, married, abuse, surviving rape, ex husband, relationship, Ego, improvments, unfortunetly, unhappy, sex, god, controlling, half assed, disappointed, girl, Assault