Saggezza's profile at Help.com

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Last 7 Posts Authored

• Is lying necessary? posted (4 years, 12 months) ago
  …And no, that’s not a complaint guised in a generic question :-) Of course, lying is …

• Allergies posted (5 years) ago
  A friend of mine has a two year old daughter who has severe allergies to many different types of fo…

• Requesting Occupational advice posted (5 years, 1 month) ago
  I chose that word carefully :-) I don’t nessesarily mean career, or job, schooling, life dire…

• What is your opinion of me? posted (5 years, 3 months) ago
  I’m curious what you all think of me, who I am, my personality, etc. Now, hopefully I’…

• Disregarding the lyrics, name a song that illustrates You. posted (5 years, 3 months) ago
  In other words, a ‘phonic’ illustration of your personality. :-) I started thinking ab…

• I just have to mention one of the most inspirational songs I have ever heard: posted (5 years, 4 months) ago
  Lose Yourself by Eminem Download it, have a listen. I’m not an Eminem fan by any stretch (s…

• At christmas dinner tomorrow, my Mom has asked us to think about a few things… posted (5 years, 4 months) ago
  It’s all for good times, fun and laughs, but I thought I’d pass, these same things to t…

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Saggezza's Top (5) Replies by other users' votes

• (2 votes) How do you do it?
  

  First, please let me appologize if this reply sounds a little blunt. That is NOT my intention. I am only trying to answer your question. :-)
  
  …And the answer is simple, other people are just not built, or wired, the same way that you are. YOU are *able* to feel deeply about things that you see, and hear, and touch, and smell. But, the world would be a very sad and un-interesting place if everybody felt about things as deeply as you are *able* to. Furthermore, the world would be a very sad and un-interesting place if there were NO people like you…
  
  It takes many different types of people to have a healthy society. Try to imagine YOU in the role of a Police officer. You probably would not be able to handle the type of psychological strain that you would feel. And so, thank goodness that there are people who are NOT like you, people who are able to look at a dead body and NOT break down in tears. Thank goodness there are people who are built in such a way that they have little empathy for others, because otherwise, who would lead, who would defend???
  
  So, other people live their lives, and are able to sleep well every night - even though there are starving people in Africa and hurricanes in Central America - because THAT IS NATURES WAY.
  
  You bring to the world a sense of wonder… Those who wouldn’t naturally FEEL anything, to the point of breaking down, while looking at a dead body, benefit and gain balance from people like you because a painting you created, or a song you wrote, brought a tear to their eye.
  
  You DON’T need to appologize for carring. But, others MAY NEED to think it’s stupid… Be thankful of that. If it weren’t for that person, you may not have been able to write a letter, put it in a mailbox and KNOW that it will arrive where you wanted it. Do not appologize for carring, that is WHO you are. Don’t be ofended by your own behaviour. Instead, ask them why they think it’s stupid, rather than simply defending yourself. Engage them in a conversation. That is why we have so many different *types* of people, we can learn from them. The world who be a bodring place, indeed.
  
  - written 5 years, 8 months ago – voted for by mauri, atariwrist

• (1 vote) This is a post on another website in 2006 ( I think help.com is much better) so i am posting my updated situation below…….
  

  Hmm… I wonder if you need to try to re-interpret your feeling toward her.
  
  She probably loves you just as much as you love her, from an emotional perspective. But, unfortunately (and I may be totally wrong about this, but) she may not feel the same physical attraction toward you as you do toward her.
  
  I have a friend who I love, NOT necessarily *more* than anyone else, but rather, as I’ve come to realize, my love for her is unique. She cherishes the relationship that we have, but I’m simply not the right person for her - and therefore, she’s not the right person for me :-). As much as I’d like to believe that we were meant for each other, and that we’d be happy forever, it’s simply not true.
  
  To this day, after 7 years of knowing her, I still wonder what I would do if she came to me and said that she wanted to be with me. But, I figured out how to move on and be happy.
  
  This is what I meant by “re-interpret your feelings toward her”. You probably feel as though moving on would mean that you’d be lying to yourself and your new partner. But if you can figure out how to re-interpret your love as a unique feeling that you’ll always cherish, you’ll be able to honestly and truthfully fall in love with somebody else.
  
  I’ll stop there, and ask, Is this making any sense? :-)
  
  - written 4 years, 7 months ago – voted for by krish_eel

• (1 vote) what do you do when you get down?
  

  Negative. I am a meat popsicle. lol
  
  - written 5 years, 4 months ago – voted for by Xeno Dragon

• (1 vote) I’m wondering if anyone knows how to help me learn to be patient.
  

  Well, knowing what you’re waiting for would help, I think… But, I could be wrong.
  
  Now, this may sound blunt, but that’s only because I’m able to come up with softer words… You are **choosing** to make your happiness dependant upon these things you’re waiting for. Can you, for the time being, **choose** to make your happiness dependant on something else that you have control over. For example, something else that you’ve been procrastinating over for a while… Just choose something to accomplish, and make your happiness dependant on that.
  
  Of course, the best thing to do is to learn to make your happiness dependant upon nothing… That way, you can just be happy whenever you want to be :-)
  
  - written 5 years, 4 months ago – voted for by scatt4ever

• (1 vote) new to town,(im 17) and i met a guy at a party, not
  

  Well, I for one can’t stand “The Game” (and by the game, I mean, you know, don’t call for at least 3 days after meeting someone, tell the person you’ve got plans even if you don’t, that whole thing). If you have no good reason stopping you from calling at lunch, then go ahead and call him :-). But, there are plenty of good reasons that might keep you from calling him… For example, you’re still unsure about how you’ll handle the conversation, you need more time to calm down before calling him (yes, it’s perfectly fine to be a little excited :-), you want to figure out what you’re this weekend first, etc. Just don’t ignore him solely for the sake of ignoring him. That’s just disrespectful :-)
  
  Also, if you’re hesitant to get into a relationship with someone so soon after your last one, then don’t get into a relationship with him. But, if you like him, then you like him :-) simple as that, but it doesn’t mean that you have to date him. Just be true to yourself, don’t kid yourself about how you feel. :-)
  
  Have fun this weekend. Oh, and if he’s as popular as you say, then he is probably used to going out with people guys/girls just to have some fun. Don’t worry yourself just yet about whether or not he likes you - right now, he’s just a fun cute guy who wants to go to a football match with ya.
  
  Have fun :-)
  
  - written 5 years, 4 months ago – voted for by rasberryicecrea

Last 5 Replies – All 1,370 replies »

• lets have a debate.
  

  [quote nixbixlixchixdi]…the only reason this even exists is because the existence of matter and how it is controlled by our conscience is undetermined. so what an all powerful omnient god does is substitute in a wellneeded explaination of the unknown…[/quote]
  
  Your entire reply above (not just what I cropped here) was an excellent response. More insightful (and discussion oriented) relative to your previous ones.
  
  One thing you mentioned, “logical right to believe”, tells me your mixing/confusing ‘belief’ with ‘knowledge’. No one has a logical right to believe. (Not sure what that means actually). However, everyone has the ‘capacity’ to believe in anything - rights do not come into play. On the other hand, everyone MUST accept logical well known facts as knowledge.
  
  Belief is different than knowledge. Belief is based in faith. Knowledge is based in fact. They are mutually exclusive, and there is no logic required in faith. In fact, in my opinion, faith almost requires the absence of any logic.
  
  [quote nixbixlixchixdi]yes you are correct i cant prove that there is no god.[/quote]
  
  I was happy to here you say that, because it shows that your “position” in this discussion is just as valid as religious persons likely position to the contrary.
  - written 8 months, 3 weeks ago

• Got your life figured out?
  

  I have four questions for you. You may know where this is going, but if not, just bare with me… But, it’s important that you don’t answer until you’ve seriously honestly considered each question.
  
  
  1. Where do you get your energy from? When you are upset, do you find that being with other people, in a social atmosphere is energizing, OR do you find that your energy returns while you are by yourself, with a book, or tv, cooking, or whatever?
  
  2. Are you spontaneous, a dreamer? Do you often find yourself examining the present situation, OR do you imagine what the future could be?
  
  3. Do you think “hard” about every decision, OR react quickly based on how you *feel*.
  
  4. Do you enjoy starting a project, OR finishing one. Have you found that you often have a great idea, get it started, but find it hard to finish, OR do you always work hard to finish a project, and enjoy tying off all those annoying loose ends?
  
  If you can, try to answer these honestly. Most importantly, do not answer these by thinking about how you *Want* to be, but rather how you actually are and have been in the past. Think of your natural instinctive tendencies.
  - written 8 months, 3 weeks ago

• Some friendly advice would be much appreciated!
  

  My friendly advice to you would be to consider visiting a therapist. This is honest advice, and not just some “rubber stamp” reply. Here’s why…
  
  Everything you said about what you’re going through emotionally, such as
  “Can’t process the feeling ‘happy’”,
  “It’s been over a month, and things are just getting worse emotionally”,
  “Feeling so vulnerable”,
  The feeling that you are just “existing”.
  
  It sounds like you are *very* self-aware, and understand the reasons why you’re at a breaking point. What you might not know is Why!
  
  The things I mentioned above are all indications the areas of your brain dedicated to processing emotion are working to suppress the emotional memories of recent months. That’s why you aren’t really *feeling* anything, and just have a sense of only existing day-to-day. It’s weird, but this is by design. The brain does this because it literally IS too much to process all at once. A certain level of sanity needs to be maintained in order to continue to be a part of society. The brain will eventually recall these memories and deal with them over time. So, you will get better emotionally all on your own. But…
  
  The problem is, with our extremely busy, information filled lives, the brain might never find the time to deal with these issues. Suppressed memories with a negative undertone are not a good thing to carry with you.
  
  This is where a therapist comes in. They have a wonderful ability, Not to tell you what to do, but rather to give you the opportunity and mental tools to help your brain process these memories. It’s actually really pretty amazing!… I think :-)
  
  So, that’s what I think. Visit a therapist, just once. Only go back if you feel it’ll help.
  - written 8 months, 3 weeks ago

• lets have a debate.
  

  [quote Lano]Well, on the other hand, they’re still not down with contraception, homosexuality, and I’m sure other things a more secular person like myself would consider no-brainers.[/quote]
  
  I don’t feel those are, I’ll call it ‘modern’ stances either. However, I do accept that a religion requires boundaries. And those boundaries cannot (and should not) be easy to move. All religions provide a clear path - or guidance - of some kind for believers to follow. That path must be based on teachings *believed* to have been conveyed by divinity. Nothing moves slower than an organized religion, and for good reason.
  
  As for not reporting pedophilia… That lies in politics and money, not faith.
  - written 8 months, 3 weeks ago

• lets have a debate.
  

  Ok, I feel the need to mention a few things here.
  
  [quote Anonymous]dont confuse debate with arguement. a debate is a civilized transaction of points to prove something. an arguement is more hatred and the attempt to hurt feelings.[/quote]
  
  A little off topic, but… A debate is, in fact, many arguments made from apposing perspectives. Arguments make up a debate.
  
  [quote Anonymous]this is most likely the most important post this website has seen.[/quote]
  
  Sorry, but I gotta say, that just screams of arrogance. Have a look through http://http://help.com/tag/2229-god#mesg . 5,987 posts regarding God. Many many of them posing the same question you have.
  
  Is there a God?
  
  This shouldn’t even be a debate. Rather, it should be a discussion to expand each participants understanding of opinions different from their own.
  
  With that in mind, I put forward the following information. The Church acknowledges the existence and certainty of evolution. Many of your arguments in this post center around putting evolution up against Adam, Eve, and 7 days. That story comes from the book of Genesis (which is why the word Genesis means “the beginning”). However, modern theologians discount Genesis as the true origin of mankind. There have been too many discoveries in archaeology and science discounting Genesis to continue basing the faith of millions of people on.
  
  Have a read through http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Catholic_Church_and_evolution
  
  In fact, the Church says Darwin’s “Origin of Species” can co-exist with existing doctrines as long as one acknowledges that God played an active role in the creation of the universe, and continues to play an active role in guiding the evolutionary changes in living matter over many millennia.
  
  And so, I ask you to prove to me that there is *no* God. Prove to me that there isn’t some yet unseen force deliberately manipulating matter at the subatomic level. I say, you cannot. It simply comes down to faith. Do debate to be had, only discussion.
  - written 8 months, 3 weeks ago

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