Saggezza's shout trail with downtowndaisy - Help.com

lmao. I wish! I haven’t. I’m on the east coast and so far I haven’t had any opportunities to drive yet. Possibly tomorrow morning going to the gym!

Got any speeding tickets yet? :-)

yeah i’m on

Hey, do you have MSN? I just tried adding you using your hotmail address.

hey! what’s up?

Dizzyyyyy!!! :-) How are ya?

well… that’s not necessarily true. It depends on the situation. If it’s something I haven’t learned or tried before I usually welcome it with open arms, unless it somehow isn’t “secure.” So usually dangerous things I try to avoid lol.

Hi Dizzy. I’m so teribbly sorry about not getting back to you sooner :-( I’ve just been so busy lately. My apologies :-)

So, in one of my Shouts to you I said, “What problem was I trying to solve? Was it how to offer a new perspective on driving, that would actually mean something to you? Or, was my problem something else?”

In fact, the problem I was/is trying to solve was/is - How can I offer you a fundamental change in perspective, specifically with regards to your current view on NEW experiences… which happens to incude Driving! :-) However, I can’t *state* a new perspective, that would be useless. You need to Realize a new perspective on your own (e.g. enlighten yourself) for any change to really take hold.

Having said that, if you have MSN (or, etc.), it might be more usefull to just have a conversation.

But, my first question to you would be…

Right now, when you have an opportunity to experience something new, what is your reaction? It seems to me, from what I know of you so far, the core of your reaction would generally be “I don’t feel like making the effort!”. Is that correct?

Still curious what you think of my driving situation..let me know next time you’re on. :)

ok… will do! Man… I haven’t been this tired in years… I can hardly keep my eyes open… good night! and thanks again.. don’t forget what you were going to say… :) Night!

Sleep well. :-) I’ll look for you tomorrow. But, sleep on this… Don’t engage in experiences simply for the experiences sake. The experience has far deeper implications than what is easily seen on the surface.

making sense so far…. I’m waiting in suspense… man I really want to stay up for this but my eyes are getting heavy… :)

Will you be on tomorrow night? If so, I will try to come on to finish up this convo… In the mean time… if you want to, please finish up what you were typing. Everything you’ve said so far I can relate to, and deep down inside, I’m hoping it’s the answer I’ve been looking for!

thank you SO much for your help! :) Good night!

So, you’re stuck in a rut. Why? Probably because you are unable to reach any meaningful descisions on how to proceed. So, how do we arrive at a descision?

Descisions are reached by considering what we Know and what we Believe, and then applying our desires (note, not everyone works like this). When you are unsure of any one of those three things, you are not able to reach a descision. Furthermore, it is very important to understand the difference between Knowledge and Belief. Knowledge is based in fact, whereas Belief is based in assumptionand faith. Never confuse something that you Believe to be true, as fact or Knowledge.

So, underneath all of this is simply… EXPERIENCES.

When I asked you about stick or automatic, you immediately said automatic. But, with one comment, I was able to cause you to second guess yourself :-) Why? Because either consciously or sub-consciously (I don’t know) you KNEW that particular opinion was based on pure Belief (assumption). Until I said anything, you would have continued to think you Knew for certain that automatic was the best for you. BUT, the way your mind works, something would never feel quite right about that particular opinion. Why? Because somewhere in your mind, you are aware that it is an opinion based on incomplete data.

(more to come, but comments so far?)

waiting… impatiently!

What problem was I trying to solve? Was it how to offer a new perspective on driving, that would actually mean something to you? Or, was my problem something else?…

Looking at driving from a different perspective certainly would have allowed you to take up driving easily… But, I felt that you actually needed a reason, that makes sense to you, WHY you should change your perspective. Which is somethiung you are already aware of, e.g. “I need to re-condition my mind”.

So, here is my reasoning that I offer as something to consider. It’s NOT advice. Advice won’t help you get to where you want to go. Instead, you need something that your mind can analyze and ponder over for sometime. Enlightenment and growth, for people like you and me, comes from within our own minds… By doing exactly what you said you do, take in opinions, data, facts, beliefs, etc. analyze, and out comes our opinion… And sometimes it’s enlighting.

Know what I mean? :-) (more to come)

Here’s my attempt at explaining where I was going with this. lol… Might take a few minutes to put it into words :-) …

then somehow relate that to my NOT driving!

I think somewhere along the lines of “well how could you not like it if you really haven’t experienced it fully?” Something like that… right?

HAHA :-) you rock :-D

So, where am I going with this? hehe

D**N YOU! I was going to type this whole explanation then mid-way through I realized where you’re going with this…

“automatic… definitely!”. How do you know for sure if you’ve never experienced it?

Nope… why?

So, you haven’t really ever driven around the city in a standard then?

I’ve driven a stick before… a couple times… once in a parking lot when i was first learning to drive when I was 16… never touched a car for a while after that too… then again sometime last year in my exes car… I started doing it, but he kept going “AHH!” everytime I messed up.. that car was his baby… it was pretty funny.

REALLY… Automatic??? But you’ve never driven a stick… So, how do you know?

automatic… definitely! Can’t bother with the shifting and such… but it would be nice to know how to drive a stick.

What do you feel is a better car for driving in the city, a 5 speed or automatic transmission?

Well when forming opinions… it’s not that I toss my own aside… I just like hearing other’s opinions and somehow tie in the ones I agree with or if I feel they have come to a better conclusion that my own then I will take a new opinion… I’m very flexible in that sense..

If my current opinion of myself were to be corrected, I think it could possibly help me to get to where I need to be… yes… “out of this rut?” But I’m not sure if it will… would definitely be nice!! but then maybe it wouldn’t… I see all these quotes and uplifting phrases and I still can’t change… I do think I need to re-condition my brain.

Did I answer that correctly?

hmmm… That was a good read. hehehe

So, is your reluctance to trust your own knowledge and opinions, while forming new opinions something that bugs you. Something that you feel (and almost need), if corrected, will help you get out of this rut you feel stuck in right now?

well.. I know I don’t always feel sure of myself… so I guess the latter. I find myself constantly second guessing MYSELF! hehe.. sometimes I have debates in my head. Sometimes I like others opinions to help me form my own… but don’t get me wrong… I sometimes I have very strong opinions and when I think I’m right… I know I’m right…let’s just say that… hehe

But some people I choose not to have those opinions with… but online it’s usually easier. Below I felt like I was about to start WWIII all over makeup tips! One of the people started getting to me because she kept contradicting everything I would say… it was funny actually..

read this post…
http://help.com/post/140341-makeup-he…

oh no.. I know you do… Let me think about this for a sec..

Consider that you ARE **always** sure of yourself… Now, given that, does it make sense to you that being sure of yourself includes knowing when you do not have enough information to make a descision.

So, being sure of yourself in as above. Being UNsure of yourself is not knowing when you have enough information to make a descision. Which of these do you feel your are at this time in your life?

(btw, I do have reasons for each of these questions :-) e.g. I haven’t forgotten the problem I’m trying to solve ;-)

I think that’s my entire opinion… I don’t think I really have much other than it was nice of her to try to help me…now you have me thinking I should be thinking more.

As for my own opinions… maybe it has something to do with me being an indecisive person… or I second guess my own judgement at times.. I’m not always sure of myself.

lol. I see! Is that your entire opinion?

So, here’s another question for ya… Why do you feel it is that you “find it hard to make your own decisions because you have to hear other opinions, gather data, evaluate it all, then form your own conclusions”.

Though question to answer, but I’m curious what you feel about this.

Man I’m slow! haha… there’s my opinion of myself! She seems nice. I appreciate her rushing to help me at my littlest cry for help… all I said was that I was unhappy and she immediately shouted me asking what was wrong. She didn’t have to do that. She seems similar to me, where I try to relate my own experiences to other people when trying to help them…

How about, PhilliCity {YOUKNOW}. C’mon, you can figure that out :-) haha.

I have NO idea what Fill City is…

But speaking of opinions.. I am the QUEEN of getting everyone’s opinion. Sometimes I actually find it hard to make my own decisions because I have to hear other opinions, gather data, evaluate it all, then form my own conclusions…

AH!! you just proved a point again!

You just made me realize that maybe I actually AM confident when this whole time I think I am not! This is scaring me!

I still disagree though with the feeling thing just a little… I think I have a mix of both. I am naturally intuitive AND a lot of it is also based on logic… ugh… that just reminded me of a comment my first ex made when he broke up with me over the phone. He complained about how crappy he felt for breaking up with me over the phone instead of in person and I said “does it really matter? the fact still remains that you’re breaking up with me!” Then he said “see this is why I love you! you’re so logical!” Talk about mixed communication! haha

Opinions of others often provide lots of info about the person giving the opinion. On that note, what is your opinion of Fill City {{can you figure that one out}} :-)

(Sorry, had to run out for a few minutes)

Yah, the thing to understand about your type of intuitiveness is that you intuitively understand the organization and structure of other people in a general sense… One event leads to another, which has an effect on someone emotional state, which in tern caused that facial expresion, which led to something else, etc. etc. etc.

Your intuition is based on logical reasoning, rather than being naturally “in tune” with other peoples feelings. Does that make sense?

Confidense… You ARE confident :-) Just read some of your responses on this site. Well thought out, deliberate, exacting, no wishy-washy stuff - ***when you’re talking about something you know***, which goes back to one of my first points the other day :-)

Thoughts? :-) I’m still thinking up more stuff to say. hehe

hmmm… it depends… I don’t mind asking for help sometimes… but more often than not, I usually don’t ask for the help because I do like figuring stuff out… with my family and friends I’m also worried about judgement..

A different perspective would be awesome though…if I can convince myself then it will work.. :)

OMG…that’s nuts! Ok so I agree with most of it, except I am very intuitive with other people’s feelings, and I’m not so arrogant…or confident for that matter. Also I don’t have that hard of a time expressing myself, except for the fact that I often don’t for fear of judgement. There were some other things that weren’t “me” but that’s to be expected.

I’m definitely more INTJ, with a little tiny bit INTP… :)

Ok keep going! This is intriguing!

“So do you think you can help me”… Would I be correct in saying that this is not something you say very often? :-) And what you really mean is, “offer me a different perspective for me to consider”?

hehehe… To most people, when they say “help me”, they’re litterally saying “guide me”.

Another part of my personality is that I am driven to solve problems :-) Everything has a solution. lol. So, I don’t know yet if I will be able to help you, but I certainly want to. :-)

This is you: http://www.personalitypage.com/INTJ.html (with a little bit of http://www.personalitypage.com/INTP.html)

Once again, am I wrong? :-)

LMAO! I guess you ARE right! haha…

Yes, I agree with you 100%!!! I strategically plan and place everything in my mind ahead of time. If it doesn’t make sense there… it never makes sense, and I won’t do it. But, I’m also easy to convince once I have been shown a new way of thinking or taught a new idea, etc… I keep my mind open to options most of the time.

If I did in fact see driving from a different perspective, I do believe I wouldn’t be struggling with it as much as I am.

So do you think you can help me??

(That was your post re Why life is hard, correct? Just making sure :-)

Your response in and of itself is agreement enough :-) lol. I was just trying to figure out if we share a similar way of processing thing.

I find it very difficult to execute on *anything* until I have made complete sense of it in my mind, from every angle. Once I`ve done that, the task is easy and I know I will succeed.

“Percpective is everything”, is just an opinion or belief I have. For example, by discovering a different perpective on driving, all of a sudden, it won’t bother you anymore. That sort of idea.

I’m not quite sure… what do you mean exactly?

Hey Dizzy… Well, you mention of “I don’t know how to recondition my mind” has made me wonder if we are similar in (at least) one particular way - congnitive structure.

Do you agree with the following; Perspective is everything?