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ames.
OliveOil's Top (5) Replies by other users' votesI believe we can find happiness if we keep ourselves motivated to make changes in our lives for the better. If we challenge ourselves to try something different we really learn to love, trust and respect ourselves. We then find friends who also cherish and value us as individuals because we pass our positive feelings on to them.
Happiness truly is like a breath of fresh air… a wonderful feeling when we learn to let go of things that are harmful to our well being (bad relationships, prejudice, gossip, unhealthy attitudes). Rather than letting things stagnate or giving ourselves pain… why not take care of ourselves and appreciate the gifts around us and the things we can do for ourselves and others (nature, our physical and mental health, the kind, thoughtful, accepting indivduals we know.) I think life is about learning and exploring, seeing things from a different perspective… moving forward and experiencing what is out there. Caring for and educating ourselves keep things interesting and satisfying. I think it is also about encouraging others to share in our experience as well as the positives we get from sharing in other’s successes and happiness.
Letting go of painful things is part of what is important in getting back control over one’s own life and finding that true happiness… its out there for sure! :)
- written 5 years, 9 months ago – voted for by live.enjoylife, Oster: Gettin' It., Hope
I went through it myself and my friends honestly could not console me for the longest time. So I know what you are saying as well. Its a difficult thing. A person may have to be ready to let go or want to change I suppose. It took me a while to realize that. I just grew tired of holding out hope and feeling low about my unrequited love for one individual I guess. Everyone is different in how they handle a situation. As always I am just running through my mind what worked for me and hoping maybe it will help someone else out there. All I can say in that case is I am sorry you are hurting and I hope you find there are brighter days ahead with or without someone else in the picture. Sometimes we need to find it or experience it for ourselves. Best :)
- written 5 years, 2 months ago – voted for by Rahat Lokum
I think you should keep your eyes open to other possibilities especially since she is engaged. Whether or not she shows interests in other men it is important to remember she isn’t in a position where she can make commitments to other men. Also from the sounds of it - I wouldn’t allow yourself to get your expectations or hopes to high over this one woman. Usually if a woman is interested she will make an effort to reciprocate and will be more than just flattered by your attempts to win her heart. She will look for ways to spend more time with you and invest in you as much as you invest in her. If she just wants to keep it at the level of friendship then she will treat you as she would a friend and politely ignore your advances as not to embarrass you. Unless you are forward and tell her of your feelings she has no way of telling you she is or more than likely isn’t interested in any more than a friendship. It sounds like she may like you, but only as a friend - not romantically. Sometimes the best way to know for sure is to approach the person of interest directly whether it be by letter or by a talk over lunch. Facing up to an answer we aren’t really sure of is really the only way to know where we stand for certain. Sitting around and continuing to fantasize about a potential relationship really only hurts the person living in the fantasy if it doesn’t live up to the reality. I would nip it in the bud and if indeed you are kindly rejected - just let her know you appreciate the friendship and you hope she is happy with whomever she ends up with. This way you are still the gentleman… you walk away with your pride still intact. At that point I would suggest you put some distance between yourself and her …out of sight out of mind. Move on to other possibilities and don’t concentrate on or put any effort into pursuing this woman who can’t and won’t reciprocate in the way you are hoping. Don’t allow yourself to be angry about it …you are only doing yourself a diservice. You were being kind and she wanted to see you as a friend who was being kind… she really isn’t using you since she isn’t in a relationship with you except for maybe within your fantasy at this time. Since you are offering kindness she is taking it as she would from other female or male friends. I would say just keep your eyes open for other possibilities and for a relationship that is indeed available and can give back and fill in your dreams of romance and happiness. There is nothing more miserable than being in a forced relationship where someone really doesn’t love you for you.
- written 4 years, 10 months ago – voted for by Stiffmaester
Be glad YOU have the intelligence and can rise above it. Know that you are smart enough to see beyond their narrow minded little world. Keep pursuing your interests and educating yourself and you will find friends that are more like yourself. Let these selfish, ignorant people teach you something for better or worse, but don’t let it get to you personally.
- written 5 years ago – voted for by kim.
I don’t think what you are feeling is uncommon. There are many people who at one time or another have felt this way about their own gender. I wouldn’t be so hard on yourself about it. Society seems to place some unreasonable expectations on people because of the old taboos. I think the restrictions on romance or love based on gender are ridiculous.. If it is a mutual feeling between 2 people why should anyone judge you? As sweetlips mentions “If you are in love with someone, why should it matter what gender they are?” Your first love doesn’t have to be the opposite gender - neither does your last. You are indeed human and you should be happy and proud knowing that you love and care about someone else in this world. There isn’t enough love in the world anyway.
- written 5 years, 1 month ago – voted for by Cistina_Rothrauf