OliveOil's reply history at Help.com

True… :)

Well … I suppose I am too optimistic for my own good then. :)) I can be cynical, but I know after the last 8 long years I am happy to see someone with some intelligence in a position of leadership in this country. And someone who is willing to listen objectively, work as a team to make some progress and actually take action o get this country back on it’s feet again.

[quote crosenblum]Yep, to bigger government, less freedom, and more disastrous foreign policies… [/quote]
That just describes the last 8 years…

Yay Obama! Indeed! I think we really could’ve done a lot worse.

Hmm… from your third sentence I am guessing she just would like to be friends. Usually when I tell someone I like them, but just not ‘like that’ it means I would like a friendship, but have no romantic inclination toward them. I have had some guys try to continue to pursue something more, but I have always appreciated it more when they realized I meant what I said and still remained friends rather than pushing for feelings I could not reciprocate. I have been on the other side of it too and I try to remain friends, but keep my distance if I am still interested or hoping for more. Keep your eyes open to other possibilities and someone who does like you ‘like that’! Its much nicer to spend time with someone who shares your love and interests than to try and be with someone who can’t.

Hmm… it may be that you are the restless type and need the kind of job that keeps you moving? Sometimes I have found myself in the same situation and would wind up being the “jack of all trades - master of none.” LOL I finally settled with computer graphics, but I still have the itch to keep moving on - always restless. I have a friend like this too… he is ski instructor in the winter (travels to Switzerland), a travel writer in the summer and the rest of the year he is teaching geology.

Since you mention you are a traveler… this link may prove interesting to you? Maybe you can take your experience and make it work for you…
http://www.transitionsabroad.com/

Sure thing … good post Florie. I see that you and Fizz really bring up some interesting topics to light - things that are important and up for debate …but things that do matter and aren’t on a microscopic scale as far as issues or problems go.

Mary Tillman was quite interesting and a pillar of strength. At first I thought she was sincerely a McCain supporter as she had spoken highly of McCain as initially being supportive, but she mentioned he dropped out when his position changed, the questions got tough and the truth was being uncovered.

Basically she mentioned a lot of the same things that were mentioned in this interview…
http://209.85.141.104/search?q=cache:…

^I like some of the advice or responses coming from above! ^

2hazel makes a great point by mentioning people who are truly mature have learned to be confident with themselves - they are calm yet enthusiastic, positive, introspective and curious about the world around them, have a tactful sense of humor, adventuresome… mainly open to learning new things and meeting new people. I know I am always trying to live up to something like this and find that confidence myself by observing or even befriending people like this. And there really is a sense of inner peace or self awareness these people seem to purvey that I admire. People who are truly confident don’t have to prove anything - their confidence is attractive to others and definitely shines through. I think observing how mature people treat others is a great start. Life is truly a learning process until you learn to be it and not just act it as Chameleon mentions. Look at the way mature people treat others - look to them as a role model or inspiration for yourself. I really think the list of things mentioned above by Anon are important - quiet observation, sincerely listening what person has to say and responding appropriately without changing the subject, eye contact, giving someone space - don’t be imposing, sincerity in a handshake, and yes pretty much keeping your own distance until you feel you are invited to move in or if you comfortable and want to move in - interjecting yourself carefully into a conversation by continuing with the theme. Gossip_Girl was mentioning having a conversation about something you have in common… that should keep the interest or flow of conversation going. bluflames83 and John3:16 mention “don’t fake it” and “be yourself”… yes - most of all with any positive lessons learned or gained on your way in the growth process - through it all be true to yourself because only then will you really know if someone likes you for YOU.

All great advice and a great reminder… best luck!

I can think of a list of things, but I have learned from all of the things (I hope!) The worst was that I hurt a good person terribly when I was only 12 years old… almost like the “Atonement” film only nowhere nearly as traumatic… just hurtful to someone because I was ignorant, narrow minded and really didn’t understand back then. I had some intellectual, social and emotional growing to do. If I could meet that person and apologize I would jump at the chance!

Hmm… seems McCain doesn’t seem to be around physically or in thought to answer a lot of questions. An author I went to hear recently who had the opportunity to meet McCain and was seeking help through him mentioned how he disappeared out of the scene when things got tough (but I guess its a free country.) Interesting post Florie.

I think there are many beautiful African Americans! I feel that you should really explore your roots and get to know and appreciate the beauty of the people and country your ancestors came from.

As Anon said plenty of talent coming from your roots! Including an up and coming politician I am hoping for.

I had a neighbor who had a chicken named Gloria, but that isn’t really a classical name.

Hmm?…

Cordelia, Persephone, Anathea, Esmeralda, Artemis, Phoebe, Chloe, Minerva

My mom’s godmother was named Minerva and she she grew up with a cat named Philomena (I always thought those were interesting names!)

Glad you are feeling a little better about it. I think it is a difficult thing when a person has their heart set on someone who can’t feel the same way romantically. I am glad you are there for her as a friend particularly at such a bad time. I am sure you realize she is feeling vulnerable and looking for a friend to lean on in difficult times. She may see you as the friend she can share her pain with, but be careful not to let yourself get hurt… because whether or not you know it you are also may be vulnerable. You are looking for honest to goodness love and she is looking for an honest to goodness friend.

I think it is very difficult to work near someone or be around someone you are hoping will share your feelings. I am sure she enjoys speaking with you as you sound like a nice guy. Just keep things in check because we all know that when we have a huge crush on someone things said or done can be misinterpreted - especially if we are hoping their actions or words mean more. I often find myself taking classes or even sometimes working in close proximity with a crush and have to keep my cool about it since my crush is also unavailable. One of my friends tells me to just have fun with it… a crush is a wonderful feeling, flirting is fun …bliss, but its also a challenge to keep it as is. The reality of the situation is a lot different than the wonderful feelings we feel inside when we imagine sharing a life love with this individual. Its a shame that love has to be such a game people play - the hint dropping, the not knowing for sure, the confusing signals. I think rather than work up the ideal fantasy and place our heart’s desire upon a pedestal it is better to find out sooner than later if there even is a possibility for romance. Of course a crush is always unplanned and a bit difficult to control or reign in once it gets started, but confronting it sooner can save us some grief in the long run. I really would suggest you write her a letter… you don’t have to send it or give it to her right away or even ever, but write her a letter that truly expresses how you feel - let it out of you. Edit and re-edit if you must. Of course it would be better if you gave it to her to write her all of the positive things - nothing about jealousy or anger or the guy that hurt her (unless you are saying you regret that this happened to her.) Write how you admire her and think she is special and you have noticed many wonderful things about her. If your letter is direct about your feelings, your interest in seeing her as more than a friend and you do decide to give it to her - be prepared to know the truth in her response. Have a plan on how to let it go and carry on while maintaining a friendship or friendly distance if it turns out she can’t feel the same way. I guarantee you that you won’t regret being the nice guy in the end. At first it may be frustrating and you may feel hurt, but you will ultimately wind up having more respect for yourself if you back away from it politely and let it go. She will also continue to see you as a valuable friend. If you care about her as a friend, which it sounds like you do, then you will be her friend in the end in spite of things. Its a challenge I know.

I think you should keep your eyes open to other possibilities especially since she is engaged. Whether or not she shows interests in other men it is important to remember she isn’t in a position where she can make commitments to other men. Also from the sounds of it - I wouldn’t allow yourself to get your expectations or hopes to high over this one woman. Usually if a woman is interested she will make an effort to reciprocate and will be more than just flattered by your attempts to win her heart. She will look for ways to spend more time with you and invest in you as much as you invest in her. If she just wants to keep it at the level of friendship then she will treat you as she would a friend and politely ignore your advances as not to embarrass you. Unless you are forward and tell her of your feelings she has no way of telling you she is or more than likely isn’t interested in any more than a friendship. It sounds like she may like you, but only as a friend - not romantically. Sometimes the best way to know for sure is to approach the person of interest directly whether it be by letter or by a talk over lunch. Facing up to an answer we aren’t really sure of is really the only way to know where we stand for certain. Sitting around and continuing to fantasize about a potential relationship really only hurts the person living in the fantasy if it doesn’t live up to the reality. I would nip it in the bud and if indeed you are kindly rejected - just let her know you appreciate the friendship and you hope she is happy with whomever she ends up with. This way you are still the gentleman… you walk away with your pride still intact. At that point I would suggest you put some distance between yourself and her …out of sight out of mind. Move on to other possibilities and don’t concentrate on or put any effort into pursuing this woman who can’t and won’t reciprocate in the way you are hoping. Don’t allow yourself to be angry about it …you are only doing yourself a diservice. You were being kind and she wanted to see you as a friend who was being kind… she really isn’t using you since she isn’t in a relationship with you except for maybe within your fantasy at this time. Since you are offering kindness she is taking it as she would from other female or male friends. I would say just keep your eyes open for other possibilities and for a relationship that is indeed available and can give back and fill in your dreams of romance and happiness. There is nothing more miserable than being in a forced relationship where someone really doesn’t love you for you.

[quote Ireland-1]I am not sure I think she may have said Obamma [/quote]

Hmm… now that is a psychic I might start listening to! :D

Stampeding animals! Yikes! Well I suppose it never hurts to be prepared! :)

[quote babacup]Also I am thinking of a story that was shared in a group I was in. The speaker was talking of a woman who had been raped some 50 yrs earlier. She held resentment and angry and hated men. She thought of what happened to her everyday of her life. The speaker told her “He raped you once, you raped yourself everyday for 50yrs.” Don’t let that happen to you. Do not do that to yourself. What happen is over. You are safe and do not need to go there any more. [/quote]

Wow! That is a powerful message babacup! if you don’t mind I am going to pass it along to a friend of mine offline who has been dealing with some difficult memories herself.