bookworm16's reply history at Help.com

How do you get the will in the first place? I’ve tried, but I can’t do it, so I’ve given up. How do I get the will back?

Yes, I’m scared of failing … but to me, that’s normal. I’ve always been that way and I’ll probably never change. I don’t really see what’s bad about it. A fear of failure just means I keep trying to be perfect.

I like any type of music really, unless the tune is rubbish or the lyrics aren’t very good.

You’re right that online friends aren’t the same as real ones … they’re better. Don’t give up … you make it sound easy to carry on fighting.

No, I’m not, I’m guessing my pscychologist will put me on some soon though, she’s understood me more in one week than my counsellor did in a couple of months.

I have a psychologist, but she’s new so she doesn’t understand yet

Hey, have you tried talking to anybody about this? I know how you feel, I truly do, but you need to get this sorted before you turn back to self-harm.

Anon, I have a phobia of people seeing me crying too, but as you gain trust in your counsellor, maybe you’ll be able to show her that side of you too. I’d tell her that you’re more worried about how you’ll react than how she’ll react, it might help her to understand.

Hmmm…ok, so you tried that? Do you think you’ll just back out if you try that way again?

Ok, I had exctly the same problem when I tried to tell my counsellor about my self harm. The best thing to do is say you need to tell her something, and put yourself in a position where you can’t back out. That way, she knows you have something to say, but is also aware that it is a very difficult topic for you.

Ok … I had this problem a while ago and I’m kind of going to go through it all again. What is it that you’re struggling to tell your counsellor?

I’m trying to do something about it. I have an appointment with a therapist on 28th July and an appointment with the school counsellor next Monday so she can help me work out how to say stuff to the therapist properly. I just don’t know whether I’m too far gone for anything to help anymore.

I know, just scared that if I mention it, people will know things are worse again

I have gone counselling, just at the minute I don’t. I’ve been referred but haven’t had a reply, so I’ve kind of stopped the old one but haven’t moved on to the new one yet. And my arms really couldn’t care less.

[quote Anonymous]My next appointment is tommorow so I will try some of these out. Thanks for replying

In response to usurper, I think I’m scared to cry in front of him because I dont want to be judged although I know they probably wouldn’t judge me. I guess it’s just the way I see it.[/quote]

This has always been my problem too. All I can say is that as you gain trust in your counsellor, you can start to understand that they’re not judging you, only trying to help you to the best of their ability. I agree with T though, tell them that you’re afraid of being judged, it may help them to understand you more and they’ll see that they need to earn your trust in order to be as helpful to you as possible.

I don’t go to counselling at the minute, so putting it all on the table isn’t really possible.

1 - I had this problem too. All I did was tell myself that they were there to help, and I basically made myself sit there until I told them. If that won’t work for you, you could always write down everything you want to say in a letter and give it to them.

2 - I didn’t want to cry in front of my counsellor either. I don’t really have an answer to this because I never did. Maybe as you trust your counsellor more, things will become more relaxed and then crying will follow.

3 - Tell them that what you talk about to the counsellor is your business. You’re thankful for them being there, but you don’t want them to know the ins and outs of what is happening right now.