Guth's profile at Help.com

User Involvement

Last 5 Replies – All 29 replies »

• How do I tell my mom I am going out with this guy?
  

  Assuming that it is not an issue of coming out, I think kittykatkate92’s advice is perfect.
  - written 1 year, 10 months ago

• How do I tell my mom I am going out with this guy?
  

  I’m sorry but you will have to be more specific:
  
  If you are a guy, and you are asking how best to come out, that is a very different question than if you were a girl? Right?
  - written 1 year, 10 months ago

• What can you do when your friend doesn’t believe
  

  I agree completely with Hilal2. But it is hard to give well-tailored advice to such a vague post. Take a moment to reflect on the situation being lied about. Is it a big deal? If it is, to you, should it be or are you overreacting? If it is a big deal, confront your friend, let them know how much their distrust hurts you, then tell them that you will no longer try to convince them, because if they are determined not to believe, perhaps their friendship isn’t worth salvaging. Or something to that extent that lets them know that their behavior is jeopardizing your respect for them.
  
  If it is not important. Let it go. I know that in life that is usually the hardest thing in the world to do, but get the practice now. You will have to let a lot go like that in life, and the better you are at it, the less stress you will have to deal with.
  - written 2 years, 2 months ago

• someone please help
  

  There is a difference between staying on cordial terms with someone and being their friend. His behavior doesn’t sound very mature, and it also shows you very, very little respect. I say that from the evidence I have, he has done nothing (save from being your sister’s neighbor) to deserve friendship. I gather that you are probably most worried about how to avoid making the situation awkward because you are likely to run into him a lot, but you have to remember that HE is the one making it awkward. You have asked him to stop, but he continues. If he is determined to be obnoxious, sadly the only thing you can do is ignore him. Just be careful not do something you don’t want to do thereby showing yourself the same disrespect he has been showing you.
  
  I say ignore him. If after his annoying behavior he gets offended or wonders why, it would prove he has the maturity of a 5 year-old and further justify your decision.
  
  On a lighter note, enjoy university!!
  - written 2 years, 2 months ago

• Im in love with my best friend.
  

  That is difficult, and I am sorry. When his house is essentially the hang-out spot, that makes it very difficult to give yourself space without seeming like you are alienating yourself from everyone. Have you talked to your friends about this? I should hope that they would be understanding and willing to work with you on creating a new social space (i.e. a coffee shop, another person’s home, a park, etc.)
  
  I also can definitely relate to the bit about wanting to help. Heck, here I am providing online advice to complete strangers. And I have definitely got myself stuck in a bad relationship, because I wanted to be there for her, unfortunately, I learned the hard way basically everything I just passed on to you. Something that really helped me though was realizing that in order to keep a stable relationship with her I had to sacrifice a lot of my ability to be the kind of helpful person I wanted to be. I realized that by wanting to stay to help, I was holding us both back. Once I gave myself a lot of space, I began to really feel like the person I wanted to be again. I almost didn’t make the right decision, because I was afraid of being perceived as selfish. The reality is, as I have discovered, instead that doing the right thing, even when it might benefit you the most, doesn’t change that it is the right thing to do. Which means not doing it, even to be selfless is still the wrong thing.
  
  Anyhoo, I rambled, sorry. I wish you luck, and I hope things have been getting easier or at least that they start from here on out.
  - written 2 years, 2 months ago

Guth's conversations are tagged:

Love, friends, life, Year, boyfriend, Person, girl, ruins, guy, Stupidity, marriage, hurt, Tell Him, Situationist, friendship, happiness, Family, Love Him, kiss, hate, depression, Child, fear, bisexual, witness