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• I have been with my partner for 10+ years we have 3 children together.
  

  You said you’re desperate. You said you’ve had enough. You point out that this is abuse to your son and seem to admit the seriousness. What it sounds like you’re asking of us is ‘permission’ to do what you know you need to do for your son’s sake. Leave. Well, honey, you don’t need our permission. Do the right thing by your son. This is not healthy for you, your son or the other children in the house.
  If your not married let me tell you what your kids will/do see… you won’t make a committment to anyone. Not your partner, not your child and not yourself. Therefor, they will not respect nor trust you. This is a dangerous proposition when you say this son is 12, going on his teen years.
  If you feel this relationship could be salvaged, then seek counseling. And DEMAND he go with you. And your son as well. If things don’t get mended, you will know where you stand. Your son is a part of you. Can you accept his treating the most dear part of yourself this way?
  I have three sons, all by my first husband who is now deceased (12 yrs gone now, my sons are 16, 18 and 20). When my husband proposed it was “I love you, I love Travis, I love David and I love Brian. Will you marry me?” When we wed, they stood up for him and took an active part. We refer to it as OUR wedding as in, all 5 of us got married that day. We have NEVER, EVER referred to him as a step dad. Just Dad. This is how it should be and how you deserve to EXPECT that it be, no questions, no delays, no second thoughts or deliberations on the matter.
  - written 2 years, 4 months ago

• HOW DO I GET A GF!
  

  My advice would be to stop trying so hard. Your approaching this backwards.
  What you need to learn is not how to hook a girl but how to get a girl to hook YOU. Be available but not desperately available. Contrary to how some believe, girls like the chase as much as a guy does. What you will need to key in on is what kinds of things make girls chase a guy? Make a list of things you’ve noticed. Then re-read your list. Which of these traits are those that are held by girls you are attracted to. To do this, make yourself another list while we are at it. List the things you would like in a girl. Start with the insides, the looks are just the gravy, honey. Now, you start to get a clue on what you want and what she wants.
  As a girl.. okay, I’m now a mom myself but I used to be a varisty cheerleader in my not so recent past hoorahs of high school and enjoyed relative popularity. Poll the girls in what they like. Start with me, okay?
  
  Confidence! Adopt a ‘This is me. I like me. Take it or leave it.’ attitude.
  
  Sense of humor. No need to be funny but definite need to know the difference between funny and just plain ridiculous.
  
  A firm grasp of the fact God gave us all two ears and one mouth for a reason! You should always be willing to listen twice as much as you speak.
  
  Honesty. Don’t try to beef yourself up. We will see through it anyhow and then not only us but all our friends will dub you as a no-no to date. We talk too. (likely too much!)
  
  Consistency. Be yourself no matter the situation or the company. Too many guys ‘act’ this way or that way.. don’t act. Just BE. We will admire this, trust me! And even if that means your not our type, we will be keeping you in mind when we talk to our gf’s. (and it’s much better for us to ‘fix you up’ than the guys.)
  
  Take your future seriously. Girls look at guys for the long haul, not flings. If you are serious about your future, we will be serious about you. And we will take a serious interest in what makes you tick, another plus to get girls to take note of you!
  
  The list goes on forever but I think I’m giving you the general idea, yes?
  
  And always remember, you are the ideal guy for someone out there. Just takes some of us longer to hook up than others. And … BE PICKY!! You deserve it. Don’t settle just because it’s a girl to date and your lonely. If your picky, girls will know it and they will respect it. And in the back of our minds, we will know to hook up with you would make us more special than we would be if we got with joe blow over there who would date anyone with a heart beat. We want to be special. We want you to notice the qualities we possess that make us stand out TO YOU ALONE.
  
  All the best from the good ole’ USA
  - written 2 years, 4 months ago

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