Marcos - you’re not really hearing him…..that is cool where you are at, I actually agree— but its not so useful to just tell someone to believe like you when clearly they are in a different place….theres not much gracein that…at least thats what I think…….not to be contrary….but listen to what he said….
- written 1 year, 1 month ago – voted for by OliveOil
Why? Why are you pursuing this? She said she doesnt want a boyfriend - why are you doing this?
If you read posts on this site, you see again and again (both with guys and girls) one pushes, one doesnt want anything….ends not great.
I say wait until you find someone who wants what you want…otherwise, you’ll just end up sadder than you are now. Not that I am a quitter, but dont you want to listen to what she said?
I hear your strategy: keep at her until her mind changes.
I guess…i’m not sure i think thats so wise….she said what she wants..why are you ignoring that?
- written 2 months, 4 weeks ago – voted for by Sherooo
i say TALK about it with him. two of you seek counseling. if thats true then you can get out of the marriage and move on, start new, feel better and you wont have wasted too much more.
sorry that sounds so hurtful and also - HAVe to address it so you can fix it or move on.
why kill yourself? if he wont go to counseling or talk, then DO get out. who wants a life with someone like that who you cant talk to?
this is a good thing to know now, up front, not 3 kids later, way deep into it.
you’ll be ok girl - see a minister or counselor and bring him.
ps: like he said above - lack of compassion…..to me, that is another way of saying our culture has developed into me, me, me, i want, i think, i feel, I, I I not thinking about others, not in gratitude/grateful for what we DO have (including just being able to walk, see, talk)….and becoming kind of victimy, blaming (parents, whoever etc.) for everything and just sitting in a victim mentality instead of waking up, looking around, (particularly if you look at Darfur or Afghanistan or just others in this country who are struggling…the homeless guy, etc)…we can miss the boat on seeing how many blessings we have, being grateful for that, and helping others who dont have much/the same….and get stuck in that death mode of poor me….its a killer, i know, lived there most my life…
- written 3 months, 2 weeks ago – voted for by Silverwings
If you can tell him you still care before, and he does too…thats diff…otherwise wont it be like a dream, cinderella at the ball, until the end…when he drops you at the door and gives an awkward hug or handshake and then you turn into a pumpkin? not to be negative - but i think you’d be better off taking a friend…it would probably make you sadder….believe me i’ve kind of been ther e- and its HORrible to be in front of someone you love when they are casual…..If you can do it and take it for what it is and not be said, go for it….youre more mature than I!!!
- written 4 months ago – voted for by island girl*
cookies! i love your avatar and am glad you aren’t depressed!
i think there is a spectrum. for me, I’ve been all over it. i think if you get past a point on the spectrum in depression, then you Have to have help to get out. all i know is this - my whole life i’ve struggled with it, i think a lot has been attitude, and if i dont exercise and eat right and stay focused, there i am again.
so, for me - theres been a chemical piece (which i address w/exercise & yoga/breathing and staying healthy and biofeedback) and situational piece - which i addressed by dumping the guy. haha.
anyway thats my deal - written 2 months, 3 weeks ago
2green - i’ve been there (to India) - trust me - I am REAlly for the truth - but it is BRutal there he would be completely ostracized & tortured.
i think it is wiser to plot his escape to live elsewhere.
stop the gay-bashing - thats disgusting anyway but in your position - come on, you gotta be making your soul wail. it’ll be ok - keep searchign for places/people with whom you can be honest/open. and, yes - see if it IS possible to be honest/just come out (once you ahve an escape)…living a lie is the most destructive thing you could ever do to yourself. - written 2 months, 3 weeks ago
NO. THats insane.
Tell him you are grateful.
It does not mean you have to sit brokenhearted and witness him in his life with the person he chose over you for all time. Nuts.
Be grateful and move on, there is someone better out there for you, period.
Sorry youre brokenhearted but God is doing you a favor - there is someone better for you.
Chinup girl. Send the guy a card. Get out there. Meet the new guy whose family will love you. And thne live happily ever after. - written 2 months, 3 weeks ago
First, while i understand why you are doing what you are doing, culturally, and to protect yourself in wisdom - i also have to say - be careful, dial it back. If you are participating in gay-bashing jokes, that has to be a certain evil….like bashing yourself as well. When we are different in our hearts than on our faces — it is not good - its a dark scenario. I would be careful. I would also increasingly plan and set your life so you CAn leave there and be yourself- open and out - outside of India. I cant imagine what kind of a closed dark sad life you would have otherwise, locked in a closet, your spirit and TRUth not revealed.
I am sorry you were born there. I am glad you have seen there is NO shame in being gay, it is just another way God made people. And while you may see it is not wise to be completely open - I think it is dangerous/dark for you to participate in continuing the typse of prejudices that essentially create your situation.
I am not gay - but there are probably lots of gay-friendly (not pickup) websites where you can meet others who have the same problem. I believe there are trillions of people like you out there, and frankly, in U.S. too.
I wish you strength and courage….and determination to seek a life where you cna live in Truth/honestly. - written 2 months, 3 weeks ago
hey- anyway - just dont take things personally. and if you want someones perspective, ask them personally. i’m sure they’ll help you. and if they don’t, find someone else! there’s tons of people here who want to help….xx - written 2 months, 3 weeks ago