live.enjoylife's reply history at Help.com

2green - i’ve been there (to India) - trust me - I am REAlly for the truth - but it is BRutal there he would be completely ostracized & tortured.

i think it is wiser to plot his escape to live elsewhere.

stop the gay-bashing - thats disgusting anyway but in your position - come on, you gotta be making your soul wail. it’ll be ok - keep searchign for places/people with whom you can be honest/open. and, yes - see if it IS possible to be honest/just come out (once you ahve an escape)…living a lie is the most destructive thing you could ever do to yourself.

NO. THats insane.
Tell him you are grateful.
It does not mean you have to sit brokenhearted and witness him in his life with the person he chose over you for all time. Nuts.

Be grateful and move on, there is someone better out there for you, period.

Sorry youre brokenhearted but God is doing you a favor - there is someone better for you.

Chinup girl. Send the guy a card. Get out there. Meet the new guy whose family will love you. And thne live happily ever after.

First, while i understand why you are doing what you are doing, culturally, and to protect yourself in wisdom - i also have to say - be careful, dial it back. If you are participating in gay-bashing jokes, that has to be a certain evil….like bashing yourself as well. When we are different in our hearts than on our faces — it is not good - its a dark scenario. I would be careful. I would also increasingly plan and set your life so you CAn leave there and be yourself- open and out - outside of India. I cant imagine what kind of a closed dark sad life you would have otherwise, locked in a closet, your spirit and TRUth not revealed.

I am sorry you were born there. I am glad you have seen there is NO shame in being gay, it is just another way God made people. And while you may see it is not wise to be completely open - I think it is dangerous/dark for you to participate in continuing the typse of prejudices that essentially create your situation.

I am not gay - but there are probably lots of gay-friendly (not pickup) websites where you can meet others who have the same problem. I believe there are trillions of people like you out there, and frankly, in U.S. too.

I wish you strength and courage….and determination to seek a life where you cna live in Truth/honestly.

hey- anyway - just dont take things personally. and if you want someones perspective, ask them personally. i’m sure they’ll help you. and if they don’t, find someone else! there’s tons of people here who want to help….xx

ps i think its a mistake to have a plan (the only person doesnt give up on her) when you see that plan is not working for you and your husband/marriage. its a nice thought but….best to see what is the best/healthiest for you.

just because she doesnt stay with you doesnt mean you arent a good friend or are giving up…you Have to take care of yourself first, period, under God …your loyalty needs to be to your health and your husband….at least thats what i think.

be a friend, you can, without giving up your own peace and well-being. that is the healthy thing i think.

fyi, sorry too i dont have recommendations. i’m not sure what you should do about your friend (doesnt she have familY?). i’m praying for ya

well - i know aobut this kind of situation.

the deal is - your mother is right.
you have to take care of yourself and your marriage first.
its not healthy not to.

besides that, if she’s going on drinking binges, she’s not taking care of herself either.

it is Not healthy to try to help someone at the expense of your own health.

i’m sorry youre going through this.

i hear you sicko - — (this post isnt mine) but i know how anon feels - if you’ve been around a bit and then Do post with your name, give invites, are having a hard time - it can be really disappointing that people you think would help you are just m.i.a…or give a gratuitous pat…happened to me too.

its more about being able to count on people who you thought would be there, you ‘know’…at least thats what i think anon is saying (sorry, not to post steal hehe! just i can tOTAlly relate…)…
anyway whoever you are if you shout me and i’m able i’ll help ya.
cant need a site from this site thats silly hehe!

hey — i know what you mean.
I too thought I met people on here who say they want to help and have repeatedly, almost laughably,ignored or blew me off/never gave me a second thought.
GOtta just shake it off - not everyone is sincere….dont take it to heart, forget about it - not worth your time.
No reason to leave though - stick around/pursue with the ones who ARe sincere/care.
I am sure there are a lot of people who want to help you, even if its not the ones you think care/are your friends.
dont go!!

just so you know, the police will ask ‘have you told him directly to stop?’ and then tell you to do that.

i know, i had a stalker thing before.

you have to tell him straight up. dont let fear rule ya….

at first I was thinking — no, not good. i think rid of him. it sounds creepy, too controlling/obsessive - not healthy.

but then i reread your post. you said it doesnt bother you. well - if it doesnt bother you, why are you posting?
because - well - you need to tell him not to do that, to chill, to limit his contacts and then see if he continues.
i get the feeling you havent told him that this frequency is freaking you out or not what you want.
if not, how will he know?

so - unless and until you are direct with him/give him information - then really he can’t be so blamed.

to me - thats a lot of contacting and I’d want to change it.
he cant be responsible if he is not given the information.
clear communication.
you have to be honest with him.

he cant know to stop unless you tell him.
i’d probably just want out - but unless you break with him or else give him information, how will he know?

wow.
i like the part about nano-size particles.
i’ve felt like that before.
i hope that feeling changes.
and you meet someone where its mutual.
i’m surprised you havent already.
***hug***xx

you need to talk to her. address your concerns.
the long distance thing is tough. tough to figure out what are the real issues and to have a real relationship within that…(believe me i know the long-d thing).

youre right. doesnt sound good re: her other ex. when did she say these things? a long time ago or recently? i’d check them out - in person - when you can see/gauge her body language as well as answers.

see where she’s at. b/c obviously - if you guys arent headed towards building lives together, maybe want to move on. i dont think its weird or wrong to want to be heading towards those things….then you’ll know better.

may want to not be as available either (via cel or phone) and does she really need to know when you have a day off? it all sounds incredibly…stressful to feel like you have to justify your own life choices…

get that book called boundaries thats what i say!!

get that book called Boundaries!!!
YES - you can what what you want with ALL your time
first, keep in perspective - i’m sure she just loves your child and you two and is jsut trying to be helpful even though she sounds incredibly annoying and irritating

outside of that - you’ll just have to stand your ground
you cant control if she’s going to ask, re-ask, ask again and then give you her encyclopedia of know betterthanyou isms…..(obviously!)….keep knowing she really is thinking she’s being helpful - try to remember that and try to just ignore

mostly - stand your ground and do what you have to do for your family.
maybe you can make a set time - each week - that is her time with yuor kid.
period. but NOT overnight.
sooner or later she should get the message. sooner or later your child will be old enough that this wont be the problem too (re: sleeping). i agree - forget the overnights - doesnt sound peaceful.

i dunno. thats…well - good for yuo standing your ground - kinda sounds like a hassle but as long as you dont give in shld be okay.gluck