live.enjoylife's reply history at Help.com

fyi essence — she has TONS of books!!! thats just one of them!!! my (other)favorite is Battlefield of The Mind….how wrong thinking keeps us miserable (either being victimy, too scared, too this or that, not enough this…).

Her stuff is really amazing. Again, you have to overlook/look around the Godspeak (if youre not into that) but you know what? I went to a trillion counselors, read tons of books, etc, for years - this lady is BRilliant - b/c I started getting better/attitude change right away and only got better and better listening to/learning from her rap…..she also was messed up her whole life….and has hilarious stories - its only the last 10 years or a bit more she got big ministry - she was struggling/poor/misreable most of her life…..

anyway - is that what you meant by opposite?

what do you mean opposite? you mean super shy?

yeah - she has stuff on the spirit of fear and having timidity get out of balance…is that what you mean?

hey - good luck too. her resources really changed my life.
but listen - if she’s not your style - DONT GIVE UP….keep looking.
if you want to feel better/change this about yourself/have peace/joy - you can.
Good for you seeking better….we’re here for you. take care..

fyi, i really recommend that book - root of rejection…its really good…small so its not huge either…i hope you like her

sorry - i was off line for sec….joyce meyer dot org (the dot is a period…if iput the actual dot it wont come up)

yeah - but moreso - probably best to look at the root of the behavior to change it.
when you fix that, you wont even want to act that way…it wont be a problem/thing you cant control…at least thats what i understand…

well - I have had my life completely improved/changed by listening to (you can watch/read her stuff online) Joyce Meyer….she’s a minister but she is REally funny - and she was sexually abused/molested all growing up…had a really rough life…I am sure she has resources that address your stuff……

she has a small, bu very powerful book, called teh Root of Rejection - getting to the root of destructive behaviors….and giving direct clear ways to change/fix….

she is SOo entertaining (so i prefer watching her online or ordering her dvd’s) and also listen to her CDs…..if you can tolerate the God thing….I wasnt into God when i started listening to her, many of my friends arent into God, and ALL listen to her now and love her….

i think she’d be a good place to start.
also, at the bottom of her web page, she has a place called ‘answers for real issues’ and you click on that and she has all kinds of speeches, resources, advice.

you can change it. you need to not give up. be committed to it - you can do it.
thats the resource i know of….wait though maybe there are others…but she is so comprehensive if you like her (loud, funny) straightforward style, you’ll have tons of stuff to help you….if not, im sure you’ll find help if yuou keep looking.

you know - stick around your post - sooner or later someone may show up that had this same problem and fixed it somehow…..

well - dont condemn yourself, girl!! lets just get you some help.
i dont know that you ‘dont know how to act…’ i think you just have some problems you need to get control of.
do you believe in God - can you see a minister?
or can you see a counselor? or get some books on the subject?

i mean - what do i know - but thats waht i think…

yeah - but noone is naturally lascivious - usually were sexually abused or molested when that way - there is a dark root if someone is that way…..trying to find out the root/why….i dont think people are just born like that….

well - here’s the deal though. (dont worry about slow typing no prob girl).

if you come across all sexy - the kind of guy you’ll attract….well, thats what he’ll be after. i think you may want to rethink, even if it IS a long wait - because you can then find a guy/make friends with him and then have someone interested for the right reasons.

yeah it can be painful to be alone and without a guy….
but, as you can see, if you keep up what you’re doing then you’ll get guys interested for that reason….
thats fine, but…..because of your post - it seems you want to stop.

i guess…..if you know its a problem - just stop….or am i missing something?

well - i gotta ask: were you sexually abused or had something happened and now you do this? or not know why you do this?
b/c….well, its mostly probably a problem if there is something driving behind that you cant stop it.

do you have a friend who can go out with you and help/remind you?

i guess i dont understand - if you know this is something you dont like about yuorself - why not just stop? why is it so bad? (aside from sounding a bit….self-demeaning and…yeah, sluttish)….

well - explain further.
b/c its difficult to see how its a problem.
or are you so suggestive that you embarrass yourself/if your parents were watching you’d be horrified?

ok.
well - the first step is to recognize it (which you do).
and, like i said - check yourself.
before you go out, say to yourself how you want to behave.
before you enter the restaurant or bar, say it again.
if you catch yourself - stop.
why is it a problem?
do you do this to other girls’ guys?
or are you just embarrassed at how….sexual you come across?
are you sure you are? have your friends said anything? do you dress in a way that is come-on too? if so, stop that as well.
well - why a problem? does it make you seem cheap? i guess - why not flirt if you dont have a guy…..

chameleon - that happens to me too sometimes…not sure why….